Vulnerable
by DramaticField
Summary: Rose Hathaway just lost the love of her life, Dimitri Belikov. She has many decisions to make and many people around her that want the best for her. Will she go after Dimitri? Will new love spark? Will she lose it all in the process? Even her life ?
1. Chapter one

**Disclaimer - I do not own the characters of vampire academy, Richelle Mead does. **

**Spoiler Alert - If you haven't read Shadow Kiss, stop reading now unless you want to figure out the ending, ! **

**Vulnerable.**

**Part One.**

**By:DramaticField. a.k.a Becca.**

As I sat down on my bed none of this seemed real. I brought my knees to my chest and I felt numb. I couldn't feel anything. As the Guardians arranged funerals and grieving sessions in the chapel, I was in my room, feeling numb to my surroundings as I tried to dull the harsh reality that was stricken upon me. Nothing could of matched this pain. Nothing could of prepared me for the loss of the man I love. Then, a knock came upon my door.

"Rose," the familiar voice said softly. It was Alberta. "please, let me in." she said and at the moment, I couldn't distinct whether or not it was a order or a plead.

I tried to get up and then realized, I couldn't. My legs were like Jell-O and I never said anything for many long moments. I wanted her to go away. I wanted everyone to go away. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but Dimitri.Somehow, even after me not saying anything, she remained there and after another few minutes that seemed like eternity, she got a little annoyed up and opened the door herself. I knew I had made a mistake not locking it.

She took one long look at me. I probably looked like a child and then I realized, I didn't care. I didn't care about anything but Dimitri and nothing else seemed to matter. I knew if I were to leave the Academy, they would assign Lissa another two Guardians that could take better care of her then I possibly could right now. After all, I would have been guarding her by myself until they found another suitable Guardian to help me. I didn't meet Alberta's eyes. I kept my eyes to the floor as she came in, shutting the door behind her.

"I know how close you and Dimitri were," she started and I gritted my teeth.

"Alberta," I interrupted. "please, I don't want to talk about it." I said, staying strong as I held the tears back.

"Okay, I understand." she spoke softly and I realized she was partially treating me like a child. "I just want to let you know that were having a ceremony tomorrow," she paused. "just for him." her voice broke a little on the last few words and I realized she too had a tight bond with Dimitri.

I shouldn't be so consumed in my grief when others around me were going through a tough time as well. It wasn't the same kind of pain though. Alberta lost a friend and a co-worker. If you really wanted to call him that. I lost a trainer, a best friend and a Guardian to help me guard Lissa. Most importantly, I lost the love of my life all in one day. Not to mention how I lost Mason as well. Still, I kept quite about the relationship Dimitri and I once shared.

Still, as she explained this to me I couldn't help but to look away from her as a tear escaped. I quickly faked a cough, brought my hand to my face and wiped it away. I turned back to her and she looked composed once again. Her and I had more in common then I had thought. We both hid our emotions to the best of our ability. I wondered what she did when she was alone. If she fell apart at all.

"He was such an asset to the Academy. One of the best Guardian's out there." Alberta said and bite my lip as hard as I could.

I nodded. "I know." I said as my voice broke.

Alberta pretended not to notice. "Rose, I was wondering if you would get up and say a few words at the ceremony." she paused. "he would've wanted you to." she said sighing, the hint of a frown playing on her face.

I nodded. "Okay." I said simply, not knowing what else I could say at a time like this.

_Stay strong, Stay strong, Stay strong._

Alberta nodded. "I'm glad you agreed." she said, getting up off the bed.

I nodded. It was all I could do.

"Dinner will be pushed back an hour tonight." she said, standing in the doorframe, the door still not opened.

I nodded.

"I expect you to be there." she said, probably making sure I wasn't going to go anorexic now.

I nodded again and she left the room. I wasn't going anorexic, that was for sure, but that still didn't mean I was going to eat anytime soon. I couldn't. My stomach was filled with nausea and tears. I then brought my legs back up to my chest and started crying. My vision blurred as I couldn't even think his name. How could someone that held me in bed like he had yesterday be gone today? He couldn't be. He couldn't've been turned Strigoi. My heart sank as I even thought about that night. The passion… The love. I laid back on the bed, curling up into a ball. I inhaled sharply as I hugged my pillow tightly. I was now gasping for air as my body shook with sobs. No matter how hard I tried to stop the tears, they just kept coming. I wasn't in control anymore. For the next hour or more, I lid there, crying. The funny thing was, no matter how many tears I cried, there was always more that came after. They wouldn't stop. People had said you cry until your too drained to cry anymore, or until you run out of tears. My body seemed to be filled with them as I let them out one by one. How could you even mourn the loss of someone when they were technically still alive, only their souls were dead? Maybe if I could see his body in a casket, as terrible as that picture in my mind was, I could get some sort of closure. Maybe.

Another knock came at my door and I wiped the tears that stained my cheeks off of them hastily.

"Go away," I said sheepishly.

Adrian came into the room then. I was surprised to see him for more then one reason. The way he just came in when I specifically told him not to was one surprise. The other, it was _him _out of all people.

"Hello little dhampir." He said, closing the door behind him. As soon as he seen my red, bloodshot eyes his expression and tone changed. "Oh Rose," He said sympathetically.

"What don't you understand about go away?" I asked him, sniffing and collecting myself.

I expected some smart ass remark or commentary, but instead, he surprised me once again.

"I only wanted to make sure you were okay." He said, in a tone that told me he wasn't going to even attempt to argue with me right now.

"Oh," I said, taken off guard. I sat up weakly. I hadn't eaten in the last couple days and it was catching up to me, along with the sleep deprivation.

Adrian came over at once and helped me sit up.

"Rose, you don't look well." He said.

"Oh really ?" I said, "I would've thought I looked as good as the queen of England right about now." I said, trying to stay strong.

Adrian sighed. "Rose, I know how much you loved… love Dimitri." Adrian paused quickly and opened his mouth once more to speak. I cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about it." I said, flinching at his name.

He nodded. "I understand," He said, just like Alberta had.

Everyone thought they understood, but when it came down to it, they never had the love of their life taken away from them along with one of their friends, all in six months.

"Stop saying that," I said, letting out all the anger and frustration that had been pent up in my chest. "You don't understand! Nobody understands!" I yelled furiously.

He nodded again, still totally composed. He probably expected this. "Calm down," he said calmly.

I took offence to this. "Calm down," I paused. "CALM DOWN!?" I screamed. "I JUST LOST ALMOST EVERYTHING AND YOUR TELLING ME TO CALM-" Adrian cut me off by clamping his hand over my mouth.

"Rose, there are guardian's on duty. Shhh…" He said, firmly.

I then realized how immature I was acting. Adrian came to help and I was pushing him away. But, if you were in my position, you would be immature, bitchy, upset and mad too. Then, I lost all of my composure once again and broke down into tears. What in the hell was happening to me? Memories filled my head… The day he brought Lissa and I back to the Academy, the day we first started training together, the day he taught me how to use a silver stake and how to kill Strigoi. Then, the most vivid of them all, the night Dimitri and I made love. I pushed that night out of my head. I couldn't deal with it right now. Maybe ever. Adrian was finally caught off guard when I started to cry. He quickly wiped the surprised look off of his face and took me into his arms gently, leaving a little space between us. Dimitri was the only one who had seen me cry before and my mother when Mason had been killed… because of me. Dimitri could've been alive right now if I hadn't suggested we go to find the others, yet, I knew it was wrong to think that. I saved so many lives, but in my heart I would trade them all to be with Dimitri right now. It was a horrible thought but I couldn't change it.

Dimitri was the last one to hold me like this too. As I kept letting the tears escape I was almost oblivious to my surroundings. To Adrian. To my room. To anything. I curled against him, needing comfort for once. For once, it wasn't going to be all about the Moroi's, for once, I would come first. I needed to.

"Rose, shhh…" Adrian said trying to soothe me.

I stayed quiet, regaining the composure, mobility and knowledge my body and mind once obtained. The tears slowly stopped. It felt like someone had a knife through my stomach, twisting it slowly. You would cry and yell, because there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop from hurting you, yet, you knew you should stay strong and show resistance. I was guessing Adrian knew I would fall apart sometime soon, very soon.

"Rose," He said softly. "I'm so, so sorry…"

"So I am," I murmured softly.

"I hate seeing you like this," He admitted.  
"Like what?" I asked. "A huge mess?" I ask, sitting up.

"No," he paused, obviously not going to comment on my last comment. "Vulnerable."

________________________________________________

**So, what do you guys think, ? Like it ?**

**This is a new piece I only started to work on a few days ago. I have many Twilight fan fictions up but I wanted to try to move away from constant Twilight ones and mix things up. I only finished reading Shadow Kiss last week, I admit and ever since, it's been my favourite book series. I can't get enough of it ! I'm working on this story frequently to update along with my many other fan fictions so sorry if I take a little longer to update !**

**Well, reviews ? =]**

**~ Becca.**


	2. Chapter two

**Part Two.**

I bit my lip. I wasn't expecting him to say that. I wasn't expecting to show emotion to anyone at all either. Let alone Adrian.

"Oh," I said, unable to think of an intelligent or sarcastic response.

"I know this is hard for you." he spoke to me like I was something fragile and delicate. I didn't

want other peoples pity.

"Stop it,"

"Stop what?"

"Stop talking to me like I'm fragile enough to break any second." I said, keeping my cool.

"Rose, you've been through a lot." he argued.

"Many people have," I said, looking at the floor. "I'm not the first one to lose the love of my life and I won't be the last." I said, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands to try to feel something… anything.

"You stop it," he said sternly. I was caught off guard. "Stop pretending this is just another day in the world of Rose Hathaway. You know just as much as I do that this is killing you. Show a little emotion. Your aura's much darker and sadder right now then I've ever seen it before. It scares me." Adrian finished, looking away from me to try and keep himself from exploding. "Your hurting. Just admit it."

He knew me too well. Then again, so did Dimitri.

"I can't," I said softly.

He looked at me and his face said it all. 'Why?'

"Admitting to myself that I'm not alright, that I'm hurting and that I can't do this alone is just like admitting to myself that Dimitri is really gone, and I can't do that." I said, looking him in the eye, my voice shaking.

"He's not gone," I sighed. "He can't be." The harsh reality just refused to sink in.

Adrian looked like he understood some how, still he kept quiet, letting me rant.

"If he was dead, I would know." I closed my eyes. "If I was never going to see him again, I wouldn't be numb." I frowned. "I can't feel anything, Adrian. Nothing. I'm numb from head to toe and even at first, when I wasn't, the pain was too overwhelming… too real for this to be reality." I said, opening my eyes slowly.

"Rose…" Adrian said in no more then a mere whisper. "he's gone."

Tears started stinging my eyes but I blinked them away. I was stronger then this, I had to be. He was trying to give me closure.

"No. No he's not." I said sternly, trying to get myself to believe it. I had twisted the reality so much that I actually believed my own words. I convinced myself that I would see him again, I would be with him again in the future.

Adrian said nothing but took me into his arms and caressed my hair gently. He was trying to give me closure, but I knew better then to think it would work. As I worked hard to keep my guard up, to keep my sanity, I thought back to the night in the cabin. Dimitri and I were so close… so… I snapped out of it. I couldn't do it. Tears came to my eyes and finally, I couldn't blink them away any longer. Adrian just held me while I fell apart. I would never be able to touch or hold Dimitri again. Not even see him. Tears streamed down my face and I lost it all. He was really gone… I had finally absorbed the information, as much as I hated knowing it. I composed myself for a few short moments and took a few deeps breathes in and out, slowly. Closure crashed around me and I realized I would rather be numb and lifeless then to have this harsh pain stricken upon me in such overwhelming doses.

"He's really gone…" I said sheepishly.

Adrian nodded. "I'm sorry, love." he said, rubbing my back gently. "So, so sorry."

"It's not fair," I said as rage built up in my chest.

"I know it's not, I know." Adrian agreed.

"The stupid monsters couldn't of turned someone as good as him into one of them. They couldn't of took someone with such meaning and purpose to his life and took his soul. It's impossible. He could never be evil." I say, tears still in my eyes, running down my cheeks.

Adrian was speechless. I could tell. It really wasn't like him to not have anything to say, but everyone had changed with the recent attack. Nobody was the same, nor would they ever be. I sighed heavily as I tried to gain back some composure that was diminished moments ago. I couldn't say goodbye to Dimitri. He wasn't really gone. His soul was gone, but he was still here in body. Just not here meaning in the Academy. Nonetheless, I still didn't believe that Dimitri was Strigoi. Even if he was, he couldn't be bad. Nobody who held me in bed like he had… so close… so love stricken, could be gone today.

"Rose…" Adrian trailed off, pausing. "I agree. I don't think Dimitri could ever be anything close to evil." he admitted, keeping his voice soft and somehow, musical.

I bit my lip as I couldn't do much more at the moment. I couldn't say anything, or do anything. Despite my earlier attempt to keep myself together, I found myself falling apart and honestly, I didn't mind it anymore. I would cry later anyways, so what exactly was the point in crying alone when I could be here, with such a great person and let them help me through this, like they wanted. What was the point in trying to take everything in alone? Dimitri always said I was strong, but sometimes, I needed someone. He was right. As always. I sighed heavily as tears ran onto Adrian's shirt. He pulled me close to him and wrapped one arm around my waist, the other caressed my hair. Dimitri loved my hair…

"This place isn't the same without him," Adrian said glumly. "Everyone's auras are sad… dark." he frowned. Then, I realized something. His breath didn't smell like cigarettes or alcohol. If the auras had been as bad as he said, wouldn't he of tried to block them out with alcohol?

"Adrian," I said softly. "How bad are the auras around here?"

"Oh, little Dhampir, they are much worse then you could possibly imagine." he said, sighing.

"Then why haven't you been drinking to dull them?" I ask, intrigued.

"I can handle it without drinking. Besides, I wanted to be able to help you. I knew that you had to be hurting." he said sweetly.

I felt the corners of my lips turn slightly into a small smile. "Thank you," I said softly.

"Anytime, Rose." Adrian said softly, rubbing my back in small circular motions.

I yawned. I hadn't slept in days and the sleep deprivation was taking it's toll. I laid my head on Adrian's chest and inhaled his scent slowly.

"Go to sleep little Dhampir. You must be exhausted." Adrian encouraged me to sleep.

With that, I felt my eyes flutter shut and I curled close to Adrian, inhaling his sweet smell slowly. It helped me sleep somehow. After many long moments of Adrian soothing me into a unconscious state of mind, the dreams started. They were very vivid and I started thrashing around, still in a deeply in slumber.

_Dimitri's hands caressed my body as I tangled my fingers in his messy hair. As we lay in my bed, the soft, cozy sheets under us and the bedspread on top of us, we kissed like there was no tomorrow. We were just two, normal people and we were destined to a life of happiness and love as I peered down at the wedding ring on my left hand's ring finger. It had one big diamond in it and it glittered like a million stars. The dream got more and more intense as the painful memories from the cabin were established in my mind once again. _

"_Little Dhampir," Adrian's voice broke through the dream. So I thought. _

_I then seen the dream slowly, but efficiently disappear as the images left my mind. I could seen Adrian then. He had used his spirit element to appear in my dream and I thanked him silently. _

"_It's alright," he said soothingly. "calm down."_

"_Wake me up, Adrian." I spoke and I didn't even recognize my voice._

"_Go back to sleep, Rose. You need it." he argued._

"_Wake me up." I repeated persistently._

Adrian nodded and disappeared as I felt him jostle my shoulder.

"Wake up, Rose." his voice swam through the room as I jolted awake quickly.

Tears filled my eyes. The dreams were too much. Too vivid. Before I said anything, Adrian pulled me into his arms once more and rubbed my back soothingly. He didn't say anything, he was just there for me. I was glad in more ways then one. I buried my face into his chest and curled up into a little ball in his lap.

"Rose… I didn't know…" Adrian said, trailing off.

I nodded, my eyes getting harder and harder to keep open. I didn't say anything, just sat there as silent tears flowed constantly down my cheeks.

"I never knew you two were that close…" there was a little hurt in Adrian's voice and I could tell he was trying to hide it. I frowned.

"It was the night before the attack," I said quickly, softly.

Adrian stayed quiet, absorbing the new information. He nodded slowly. He was the only one who new about the night in the cabin besides Dimitri and I. It was a little awkward, but I was glad he knew. There was no secrets between us anymore. I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly trying to clear my mind of all past memories. Trying to give myself a clean break. Adrian's grasp on me grew tighter as her held me to his chest, soothingly. I slowly inhaled his cologne and he caressed my hair until my eyelids grew heavy. He was still silent and I took a quick glance at his face. It was composed and only his eyes showed a hint of sadness. I quickly fixated my eyes on a corner of the room and I heard a knock on the door.

"Rose, it's me again. I need to talk to you." Alberta's voice swam through the hallway and Adrian laid me on the bed carefully, going and opening the door for Alberta.

She entered the room cautiously, looking at Adrian with disapproving eyes. He wasn't supposed to be here. It was almost night time.

"Rose," Alberta said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed as I made myself sit up.

It took enormous effort but I did it. Myself.

"Dimitri's ceremony will begin tomorrow morning, sharply at twelve."

I nodded and swallowed, hard. "Alright," I said with more strength then I thought I had.

"You can come earlier if you wish. Before everyone arrives." I looked for some hint of sadness on Alberta's face however, there wasn't any. She must've been feeling it. Showing it was another thing around here. It was weakness.

I nodded again. "Okay." I couldn't give more then a couple syllables as an answer, I didn't want her suspecting anymore then she already did.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Adrian asked, directed to Alberta.

She nodded. "Yes Adrian?"

"Outside please," he said in a precise tone. Whatever he was saying to her wasn't for my ears. He was either trying to protect me, or protect my emotions.

Alberta nodded. "Alright," she said as they both disappeared outside the door.

I sighed, falling back on the bed, covering my face with my hands. This would be harder then I ever thought possible. What was I even going to say? "I loved Dimitri." No. "He meant a lot." No. "He was the best." No. All of these suggestions gave too much away. I needed to play it safe.

"He was one of the best trainers and Guardians," I paused, thinking out loud on how to go about the next part.

Adrian then walked in once more and I shut up immediately.

"Rose," he said softly, coming over to the bed and taking me in his arms once more.

"Yeah?" I asked, laying my head against his chest.

"You can do this."

"Do this?"

"Speak at the ceremony."

"It's hard.." I said in a small voice.

"I know," he paused. "but it'll be good for you."

I nodded. "I don't see how." I said softly, letting a tear escape.

"Trust me." he said, wiping the tear away with his index finger.

___________________________________________

**A/N-**

**I hope you guys like this chapter, I got a good response on my first one so I'm looking forward to keep writing this and getting such awesome reviews ! =]**

**Also, If theres any Twilight fans out there, I have multiple Twilight fan fics up so check 'em out ! =]**

**Don't forget to review, !  
~Dramatic Field { Becca. }**


	3. Chapter three

**Chapter Three.**

I awoke slowly from my slumber that I was oblivious of. I hadn't remembered falling asleep, but then again when I woke up in Adrian's arms, I didn't really care. He smiled as our eyes met.

"Good morning, Rose." he said, his deep voice almost echoing through the room.

I rubbed my eyes. "I fell asleep?" I asked, slowly sitting up as a pain shot through my head. Shit.

He nodded, as I brought my hand to my forehead. I cursed under my breath. "Yes, about eleven hours ago," he said chuckling. His face then turned serious. "What's wrong little Dhampir?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Nothing," I murmured. "just a headache." As I said this, I sat up and went into the bathroom, taking something for my head and then coming back out, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Dimitri's… ceremony, is in four hours…" Adrian's voice was dull and almost a whisper.

I felt a large lump creep up into my throat as I fought to hold back tears at even the sound of his name. I repeated Adrian's words in my head a few times, waiting for it to click. Funeral wasn't the right word, no. He wouldn't be there, lid in a casket on display for people to mourn over, no. He was only there only in spirit. In soul, yes, but not in body. Somehow, as painful as the image and thought of seeing Dimitri in a casket, the idea was more appealing to me then to know he was somewhere out there and I would never, ever see him again. Unless I went looking for him… He did say that he would rather die then be Strigoi… I pushed that thought out of my head momentarily. I may think about it later I thought, but for now, I need to get ready for the hardest thing I've ever had to do. This was harder then seeing Mason dead, laying over his lifeless body in Spokane. This was harder then explaining to Adrian, everything. This was harder then letting my mom comfort me on the plane home from Spokane. I could honestly say I have never faced a tougher situation that I needed to pull through.

Adrian moved close to me, draping an arm around my shoulder.

"I'll be there the whole time. Keep your eyes locked on me if you have to, don't break down. Save that for after. You can get through this, trust me. After everything's said and done you can cry all over my shirt if you need to," the last statement made me smile and I nodded.

"Okay," I said, softly biting my lip.

I should probably get a shower and try to find black dress I had gotten a while back.

"I'm going to get in the shower," I said softly, getting up off the bed and looking at Adrian.

He nodded. "I'm going to go back to my room and freshen up as well," he said as he got up, coming over to me slowly. "I'll be back in about a half hour. Remember, stay strong, Rose." he said as he kissed my cheek in a friendly gesture and left the room, locking the door on the way out.

I closed my eyes momentarily. He really liked me and I was a little upset with myself for not being able to return the feelings. I walked into the bathroom and flipped the switch for the fan on. As the fan started spinning the bathroom got chilly as the 'rrrrr' of the fan filled soothed me a little for some reason. I quickly got out of my clothes and dropped them to the floor as I turned the hot water dial, not bothering with the cold water as I turned the shower on, stepping in. The scalding water ran over my skin, stinging a little. However, the sting hardly phased me. In a way, it scared me that suddenly I was so impenetrable. Nothing hurt me, physically since the battle. Seeing Dhampir's die all around me was something I couldn't take lightly and brush off, especially since Dimitri had been changed.

I picked up my coconut shampoo off of the slippery bathtub shelving. I poured some into my hand, lathering it into my scalp and all through my hair thoroughly as I laid the bottle back on the shelf. I rinsed off my hands, leaving the shampoo in my hair for another few minutes as I lathered soap on my body, rinsing it off as well a minute later. I got all the shampoo out of my hair and for a few moments, just stood there, letting the hot water build some sort of barrier around me. It scared me a little how I knew the water was so, so hot, but it didn't even bother her, however, all she could think about was what was to come. The ceremony. Dimitri wouldn't even want this. He wouldn't want to be recognized for just doing his job. If he was in the right mind set, he wouldn't want to be recognized for turning into the evil one. I frowned at this thought as I got out of the shower, wrapping up in my dark blue towel. My skin was red from the heat and I took a deep breath in. I was still cold inside… numb.

I quickly got into my robe and wrapped my hair up in a towel. I entered my bedroom then, tightening the band on my robe. I went over to my mirror and took my hair out of the towel, letting it fall loosely around my face. I plugged the hair dryer in as I quickly blow dried my hair. It puffed up a little and I took the hair crimper out, running it through my hair a few times like I rarely ever got to. I then put it away when my hair was full of little crimps. It looked sexy and I grinned inwardly. I tried to dim the reality that I was actually getting ready to go to Dimitri's ceremony. I put a little make-up on the Lissa had leant me a while back and then when I was finished I heard a knock on the door. I opened it, forgetting that I was still in my robe. It was Adrian and I moved aside, letting him in. He looked amazing in his black sport jacket and dark jeans. I couldn't help but smile.

We didn't say anything as he sat on the couch by the window. I realized that he was giving me time to think, however, I couldn't.

"I'm glad your back," I said, going over to my closet, taking out my old, black dress.

It cut off just above the knee and the neck line was just perfect. Not exposing anything unnecessary. It had an empire waistband and thick straps. I threw it on the bed, hanger and all as I looked over at Adrian. He was looking out the window.

"I'm glad to be back," he said, detaching his eyes from whatever was going on out there to look at me.

I smiled softly as I finished getting ready for what was to come. I wanted to go early.

**--**

I finally had convinced Adrian to go early. It was hard to go at all, however I wanted to see what they had done to the chapel. When we got to the entrance, our fingers intertwined for support for me, we still had about a hour before it was supposed to start. Adrian stopped at the entrance, his hand on the door handle.

"Are you ready, Rose?" he asked, squeezing her hand gently.

I swallowed hard and Adrian opened the door slowly. We stepped into the chapel as my body fell numb. I had no clue what to suspect and as I looked around at the room my heart sank. It had pictures all around. Pictures of Dimitri… Alberta and Dimitri… Stan and Dimitri and what killed most of all, Dimitri and I… I seen Alberta in the front, bringing the tattoo machine out. I was a little surprised to see this but as hot tears crept up my throat and stung my eyes, I didn't really care. I wanted to get out of there. It was too hard. The pictures and everything around me felt like a silver stake in my heart as I cringed into Adrian's side. Without another second, he opened the doors again, taking me from the building.

"Rose, stay strong." he said, squeezing my hand and leading me behind the school, away from the public eye.

He took me into his arms and caressed my hair gently as I broke down. Tears streamed down my face and my make-up started running down my face. I cursed under my breath and Adrian pulled back, rubbing under my eyes where the make-up had been momentarily.

"Adrian…" I said weakly as my legs lost all of their strength.

I stumbled over to the building weakly and sat on the soft grass, leaning against the wall. Adrian came over to me and sat next to me on the grass. I was glad nobody else was around.

"It'll be okay," he said, bringing me close to him. "It'll all be okay,"

I had a hard time believing this as I wiped the tears off of my face. What was happening to me? I let my head drop onto Adrian's shoulder as I looked at the clock. I wanted to get some time alone in the chapel before everyone came.

"Can we go back?" I asked, steadying myself to the best of my ability.

He nodded. "If you'd like."

I nodded as he helped me stand. We walked back to the chapel, hand in hand and entered cautiously. I gulped when I seen it, tears once more a reaction that I couldn't control. I sighed as I closed my eyes, slowly walking to a pew in the back. Adrian followed as our fingers detached from one another's.

I remembered sitting here just hours after the attack. Praying that Dimitri would be okay… would come back to me and the academy. I curled my lips in, sighing. All that was planned collapsed to the ground when Dimitri had fallen. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around myself in a comforting gesture. Adrian sensed this and pulled me close. I let him.

Before I knew it, people started piling in. We stayed seated in the back. Soon, instead of the priest taking the podium, Alberta went up, a unreadable expression on her tough features. The priest was no where to be seen and I knew Dimitri wouldn't want a priest to do the ceremony. His beliefs were… different. Kind of like mine. I bit my lip at this analogy and took a deep breath in as Alberta started talking.

"Well, to skip the whole 'were here today because..' bit, I just want to start off with saying everyone at this school really misses the man who put so much devotion into helping the academy. He was one of the best guardian's we've ever had." she said these words in a strong manner and if I hadn't been watching her intently, I wouldn't of seen the quick flash of sadness that appeared in her eyes as the words left her mouth.

I curled closer to Adrian as everyone was intent on looking up to the front of the chapel. I frowned intensely but tried to hide it to the best of my ability. I seen Lissa a few rows ahead of Adrian and I, with Christian. I focused back up on Alberta.

"Guardian Belikov," as she spoke his name my face fell, tears stinging my eyes.

"It's okay, stay strong," Adrian whispered in my ear.

"Guardian Belikov was a aced to our academy and besides fighting, the best thing he's done at this school was take Miss. Rose Hathaway under his wing, and give her extra training sessions so she could -when she becomes of age.- guard Lissa Dragomir. Lissa's fathers last wish was for Miss. Hathaway to guard Lissa and Guardian Belikov - Dimitri. - made this possible." I cringed at her words. I had never deserved someone as good as Dimitri. "Miss. Hathaway had grown so much since she had been taken back into the Academy and she wouldn't be present here today if not for Guardian Belikov." Alberta smiled in my direction and I felt many pairs of eyes on me as I dug my fingernails in the palm of my hand. "With that said, Miss. Hathaway, would you please come up and say a few words on Dimitri's behalf?"

I felt all eyes on me at this point and I had to put all my energy into not getting up and leaving as I stood, walking towards the podium. There was a huge lump in my throat now as I stood at the podium, in front of all my peers, the guardians' and… my… mother!? As I scanned the crowd and seen my mother I was even more nervous. The guardians' can't suspect anything about my and Dimitri's relationship, but worst off all to suspect it, would be my mother. I cleared my throat into the microphone and started out slow.

"Well, as Alberta said, if it wasn't for Dim- er, Guardian Belikov," I said, catching myself. "I wouldn't be here right now." 'Mason wouldn't be killed and Dimitri would probably still be alive.' I though spitefully to myself. "Dimitri and I had trained a lot together. The best memory I had of him was when he use to make me run laps. I had always told him how un-useful it was and how he should've been teaching me how to use a silver stake instead." I laughed slightly at the memory. "He always told me to keep running and that we'd get to the silver stakes in time. He told me running would benefit me one day. Turns out, he was right." I said, looking down at the podium, pausing momentarily.

I was scared that I may not be able to keep myself together and I looked up, over at Adrian. He gave me an encouraging look and I continued.

"Dimitri not only taught me to use a silver stake, he also taught me how to stay alive and so much more." I frowned. "If he was here now," I blinked quickly to rid the hot tears that were stinging my eyes. I knew people seen them. "in only two weeks, we would be guardian Lissa together." I said glumly. "He was one of the most amazing people I had ever met, and we really connected together. I'll miss him dearly." I said, meaning it in more then one way. Damn it, I was making an idiot out of myself. Alberta then sensed my uncomfortable mood and came over, taking the microphone.

I started to walk back to my seat but Stan stood, gesturing for me to stay were I was. I did as he said.

"Thank you, Rose." she said, looking at the tattoo machine. "Today, we have a special gift for you." she said, gesturing to the tattoo machine. "We're going to give you your promise mark early. Dimitri would want this." I almost threw up. What? I didn't _deserve _my promise mark. Frankly, I wasn't even sure if I wanted it. It would be another symbol of death on my neck. Reminding me of Mason and Dimitri. "Would you like them?" Alberta asked.

Now I knew why my mother stuck around. I gulped and nodded, not wanting to seem un grateful. I didn't picture it this way. I pictured Dimitri here, cheering me on as I got the needle stuck in my neck, my promise mark symbolizing me as one of them. Equal to Dimitri. I also pictured that night. Dimitri and I warm in the bed… very warm and happy. We would've told people by now. They probably would've figured out. I almost let a tear slip down my cheek but remembered that Jessie and Ralf were here and prohibited myself to cry that much more. Alberta gestured for me to take a seat and I went up in front, sitting down on the small stool laid out.

As Alberta started the machine I could feel Dimitri's spirit around me. I winced as the machine came into my skin, but got use to it within seconds. I couldn't feel the machine anymore as I thought to what Dimitri's face would be like right now. He would've been so proud and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying not to cry. He would've embraced me and told me how proud he was that I made it Graduation. That we had both made it through the fight. He would of kissed me and held me close all night.

"We're done," I heard Alberta say as I thanked her, got up and went to sit next to Adrian.

He hugged me tightly. "I'm so, so proud of you, Rose." he murmured.

I nodded, it didn't feel right getting the marks and maybe it wasn't. Then again, I wasn't quite sure if I was going to stay, or go after Dimitri yet. Indecision rattled my mind and heart.

**--**

**Well, I'm not quite sure if I like this chapter a whole lot, but maybe if you guys review, I'll feel better ? (: **

**I'm looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can get it written ! =]**

**Review ! **

**-- Becca.**


	4. Chapter four

**Vulnerable.**

**Part Four.**

**Rose****'****s Point Of View.**

We all piled out of the chapel two and three at a time. The ceremony was over now and we were all going outside for Alberta to fire off the gun once, for Dimitri's memory. Adrian, Lissa, Christian and I all went out together, backing away from everyone else as much as we could. At least that's what I was trying to do. They followed, but I wasn't bothered. We were at the back of the crowd, by the trees. I tried to stay composed as Alberta got the gun ready and pointed it towards the mountains, where nobody sane would be at this time of year. Adrian took me into his arms as Alberta pulled the trigger. The loud sound hurt my ears and It felt like it was going straight through my heart. I fell weak. Limp.

It hurt to breathe as I somehow, got out of Adrian's grasp and started running. I didn't know where I was going and the weakness in my legs felt like when you were in one of those nightmares, when you knew you had to run, but your legs were too weak… too wobbly to get the message. It was like you had no control over them, somehow I pushed on though.

I ran past I don't know how many trees in the woods, stumbling and almost falling over I don't know how many branches sticking out of the ground. Soon, my whole body lost all posture and I ended up tripping over a large branch and falling. I fell face first, only catching myself at the last possible second. I seen blood rushing from my hands and realized only by looking that they were skinned out, badly. I should've felt pain, or at least a sting of some sort, but I didn't. After all, it would go away with some bandaging, unlike some things. It took me a few moments of lying there, blood rushing from my hand to realize that I felt numb and that was why I couldn't feel my hand. All I could do was smell the rusty smell of blood.

I cradled my hand to my chest and the blood soaked through my black dress. I started crying then, as I laid on the cold, damp ground. I curled up into a little ball, resting my head against a tree stump as I wished more then anything that I'd fall out of consciousness.

I don't know how long passed. The sky was starting to get dark when I heard their voices. I could hardly pick them out as they ran over to me, flashlight in hand.

"Rose!" I heard Lissa exclaim.

"Rose," Alberta said, more collected. "What happened?"

I couldn't answer her as Adrian swooped me up into his arms and brought me back to campus. I - still vaguely aware of what was happening was tired and weak from blood loss so I thought until I looked down at my hand, seeing Lissa's on top of it. It was healed. Damn, did I hate it when she did that.

"You're going to bed." Adrian said, as everyone stayed out of his way. I then seen Christian there to, out of the corner of my eye.

I knew Lissa would want some sort of explanation, but I pushed that thought aside as I closed my eyes, curling against his chest. After moments of feeling Adrian's feet move beneath us, I smelled the friendly aroma of my room. I opened my eyes, seeing that Adrian and I were in my room again. He laid me on the bed, draping a blanket over me. For a short moment, I wondered where everyone else went, but I pushed the thought away as I was thankful to not have an audience.

"I want to change," I protested, feeling the blood stained part of my dress against my chest. It was cold from what I could tell in this lifeless state of mind I was suspended in.

He nodded. "Alright," he said softly, taking the blanket off.

I sighed as it took all of my energy to get off of the bed I was currently suspended on. I went into the bathroom, putting pyjama's on and coming back out. The pain and worry I seen in Adrian's eyes hurt. I sat next to him. I wanted to make him feel better. I knew I could… I just didn't know if I was ready. I hastily came to the conclusion that I had already lost my virginity, what did it matter?

I turned to him, wrapping my arms around his neck as I pressed my lips to his. He didn't seem to have any resistance to it as he kissed back and the kisses got more urgent. Something inside me stirred while kissing him, but I pushed whatever it was to the back of my mind as I brought my hands down, laying them on his chest as I trailed my fingers down the buttons.

He then, reluctantly, pulled back. "Rose," he said, a little breathless. "what are you doing?"

I cocked an eyebrow, what did it look like I was doing?

"This," I murmured against his lips, kissing him again as I started undoing the buttons of his shirt.

He pulled back and took my wrists in his hands.

"Rose," he said, a little sternly.

"Adrian," I said, mockingly.

"No," he said, keeping his ground.

I knew he had feelings for me. Why was he pushing me away?

"Yes," I protested.

"You don't want this." He stated. "Your not in your right mind. You'd regret it after."

I knew he was right, but frowned. "Adrian," I started to rebut.

He shook his head. "No, Rose." he stated firmly. "Go to sleep, angel. Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning and then we can talk about what happened."

I nodded and frowned once again. He was right, I wasn't myself and I was a wreck and I hated it. I wondered how I was going to explain what happened. Everything was just getting to be too much, I had needed to get out of there. I came to the conclusion that I didn't know and I would think about it later, or make it up on the spot.

Adrian pulled the blankets back and he helped me under them as he went over, turning the lights off and shutting the blinds. I was still numb, but when the fresh blankets were pulled over me, I shivered. I hadn't realized how cold I was. Adrian went over to the couch, but when he seen me shiver, he came over and took me in his arms in the pitch black room, getting under the blankets with me.

I started to get warmer immediately and started to go into a numb unconsciousness. I drifted in and out of my slumber for many minutes as finally, I stayed asleep.

No dreams came that night. No nightmares. No nothing. It was somewhat peaceful in a weird, lonely way. I knew Adrian was wasn't altering my dreams because if he was, it wouldn't be black. He would send peaceful images through my mind. I liked knowing that even if it was just for tonight, I could keep the nightmares under control myself and that Adrian was more then likely sleeping.

The black state of my dream turned to red, purple, orange, blue and many other colors as the night progressed. They didn't make any sense to me. But colors couldn't mean anything, right? They were soothing and that's all I cared about. Suddenly, while I was sleeping, I got pulled into Lissa's head.

Hands caressed Lissa's body as I seen the surroundings of upstairs in the chapel. Lissa and Christian's secret get-a-way. Their clothing was scattered around and I knew I needed to get out of there. We - She kissed him more passionately and I tried everything to escape from something that was worse then a nightmare. She shivered, making me shiver as well as he played with the remaining piece of fabric on her tight. Feeling the things she was, reminded me of the night with Dimitri in the cabin. That broke me out. The thought of _him. _

I snapped upright in my bed and ran a hand through my hair. I was now breathing in fast, shallow breaths. I was lost for words and my breath started to regulate once more. Adrian felt the sudden movement and sat up as well.

"Rose, are you okay?" he asked, alarmed.

I nodded and sighed. "Yeah, fine."

He gave me a questioning look, telling me that he didn't buy it. I wouldn't meet his eyes when I said it as he wrapped an arm around my waist.

"I was pulled into Lissa's head." I told him honestly.

"Oh," he paused. "What's so bad about that, though?" he asked, oblivious to Lissa and Christian's actual relationship.

"She's with Christian." I told him, a disapproving look on my face.

"Yeah, they're always together." he stated, still oblivious to what I meant.

"No, Adrian, they're _together._" I told him. I put more emphasis on the word 'together' then what was probably needed.

He finally understood. "Oh." he said softly. "Rose, I'm sorry you had to witness that." he said.

"Not only did I witness it, I was a part in it." I told him, shaking my head. He never quite fully understood the bond.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confusion creasing his brow.

"When I get pulled into her head, I get pulled into her body. It's like I'm her. I experience what she does." I explained as thoroughly as I could.

"Oh Rose," he said, cradling me against his chest. "I'm sorry."

I stayed silent. I found it weird that no tears came to my eyes at the thought of Dimitri. I could think of his name now, I could visualize him, yet, I didn't feel the heart wrenching pain that yesterday, I would've. '_It was because I was still numb.__'__, _I thought bitterly towards myself.

"I'm fine," I told him.

"No your not." he stated, putting a finger under my chin and pushing up softly so I was looking at him.

"Why do you think that?" I asked.

"Rose, you're pale and… your voice sounds… lifeless." he put more emphasis then what was needed on the last word.

I shook my head. "No it doesn't," when I said the words I keyed in.

He was right, my voice was flat. Monotone. Still, I tried to make it sound…. Life-like? Adrian held me tightly against his chest and he kissed my hair.

"Whatever you say, little Dhampir." he said softly.

"You're right." I told him, matter-of-factly.

I then thought of something. Was this closure? Closure from the relationship Dimitri and I shared? Was the pale coloring of my skin and my monotone sounding voice telling me that this was it? Closure. I thought about the word. Closure was supposed to mean that you came to realization on something that had happened. You came to terms with it, and it didn't hurt you as much anymore after wards. I frowned. If this was closure. --The empty, lifelike state I was in now, I'd rather not have any closure. I was like a doll. Empty.

"Closure," I muttered under my breath.

"What exactly do you feel?" he asked, sensing my train of thought.

"Numb," I summed it up in one word.

"Closure." he murmured back, nodding.

As it hit me that I had gotten the closure I so desperately wanted just mere days ago, it hit a nerve. Or, more thoroughly, my tear duct. Tears came to my eyes.

"Adrian," I murmured softly against his chest as I put my head in my hands.

"It's okay, Rose." he said softly, rubbing my back as tears fell down my face.

I don't know how long I was crying for. 10 minutes? 20? 30? It didn't seem to matter. I remembered hearing the saying that if you cried to much, you could get sick. '_Bunch of lies.__'__, _I thought. I frowned as the tears stopped coming and my heart felt cold. Bare. Empty. I thought of his name once more. _Dimitri._ It had no effect whatsoever. It made me more numb inside.

"Adrian," I said softly, knowing I needed to go, do something.

"Yes Rose?" he asked, looking me in the eyes.

"I need to go somewhere." I told him, shifting in his arms.

He let me go and I stood, my legs feeling weak, still held my weight. "I'll come with you." he offered.

"I need to go alone."

"I don't think that's best."

"I need to go to the cabin."

**--**

**Authors Note-**

**I hope you all like this chapter! I****'****m sorry for taking so long to update, but if you review, the next chapter will be out soon! =] I****'****ve got a few reviews, asking if this was and Adrian and Rose fan fiction and I wanted to say that I****'****ve made up my mind about it being one or not, but you need to continue reading to find out ! (: If you review, in the next chapter, you get a shout out ! (:**

**Don****'****t forget -**

**Review ! (:**

~Dramatic Field. [ Becca ]


	5. Chapter five

_**Vulnerable**_

_**Chapter Five**_

**Rose's Point of View**

Adrian nodded, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. He took a deep breath in as his eye lids fluttered.

"Alright," he said in no more then a mere whisper.

"I'm sorry," I murmured softly as I got up and kissed his cheek.

"No, it's fine I'll be right here when you come back. Call me if you need me." he said, trying to hide the hurt in his eyes.

"Okay, thank you."

I nodded softly and took a deep breath in, leaving the room. I walked down the empty hallway swiftly and soon, I was outside the academy, at the edge of the woods.

It was a starless night. Although the heat was minimal, the humidity was enough to make you gasp for air. Was it this bad when Alberta and everyone found me earlier? I couldn't remember.

I found my legs start walking into the woods and as my mind was in a totally different dimension at the moment, I ended up at the cabin in what seemed like no time. I felt an empty, lifeless feeling surround me when I seen it and I felt a warm tear run down my cheek. I got closer, approaching it slowly. It still seemed unused.

I opened the old, wooden door and the squeaky sound it made pierced through me. I stepped in, shutting the door behind me and all feeling rushed back to me all at once. I looked around at the familiar bed. The bed Dimitri and I slept together in. I gulped and sat down on it, taking the pillow and cried.

I cried for the longest period of time and when I was too drained to cry anymore, I lifted my head back up and lid down for a few minutes, inhaling the smell of the sheets. His scent lingered on them. It was like he was back again. That is if I closed my eyes and imagined it. No, I couldn't do that. I had finally gotten closure. Not what I wanted, but what I _needed._ I couldn't take that away from myself and hurt myself over and over again.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the door.

"Is someone in there?" I recognized the voice as my mother's.

"Yes," I said, my voice breaking.

She entered the cabin and I sat up immediately.

"Rosemarie, what's wrong? What're you doing out here?" she asked, cocking an eye brow.

"Nothing and I'm sorry, I- I don't know." I lied, wiping my cheeks rid of the tears that stained them.

"Rosmar- Rose," she said softly. "Rose, honey, what's wrong?" she asked, shutting the door as she came over, sitting down by me.

For a few short moments I considered telling her. Telling her everything. I could care less if she knew if I was a virgin or not, but the only part I was iffy on was telling her that Dimitri and I were a thing. We were in love. I still loved him. What would she say? What would she think? I took a deep breath in.

"Nothing," I said weakly.

"Rose... please, tell me." she begged.

I closed my eyes. "Dimitri," I murmured.

My mother was silent for many long moments before she spoke.

"What about him?" I knew she knew.

"Mom, don't make me say it." I begged.

"What happened between you two?" she demanded, all the love and concern gone from her now stern voice.

"I loved - love him." I said in no more then a mere whisper.

"What?" She was playing stupid.

"I love him," I said, louder.

"Rose... You don't know what love is."

"The fuck I don't!" I exclaimed.

"Language," my mother cautioned.

"Mom, Dimitri loved me and I loved him. I still love him. My heart belongs to him. He's everything to me." I said, a tear slipping down my cheek, much to my displease.

"Rose, please." She said, not wanting to hear it.

"It was mutual."

"Rose,"

"We couldn't show it. We hid it."

"Rose,"

"We fell in love." I only now realized I was just going on and on, cutting my mother off.

"Rose!" She finally exclaimed.

"What?"

"He could of gotten fired, could of-"

"I know, mom. That's why nobody knew. Not even Lissa. Until Adrian came along. He pieced it together. He didn't know how everyone else could be so blind to it." I said hurriedly.

"So, you two kept it between you? Kept the flirting and the 'love'," she mocked the word. "A secret?"

"Yes."

"Well, good. At least you can move on now, but, why are you out here?"

"Move on, Move on!?" I ignored the second part. "I love him mom. I'm torn up right now and you don't give a damn!"

"What am I supposed to do?" She asked, sighing.

"What any good mother would do. Tell me you love me and that everything will be okay. That you'll help me through this." I shook my head frantically. "Oh wait, you can't. You'll be off tomorrow to another place to guard another Moroi. The hell with me, right?"

"Rose-" she said, sadly. She was definitely faking it, in my opinion.

"And to answer your second question," I said bitterly. "I'm out here because the cabin holds _wonderful_ memories." I said sourly. "Dimitri and I slept together out here, right before the attack. We made love. Had sex. I lost my virginity to him."

**--**

**Author's Note****;**

**I hope this chapter pleases you all. :) I'm sorry it's a little short. Feedback? Review or PM me telling me what you thought. If you have any suggestions or thoughts on how future chapters should go, PM me, And If there's any way you think I could improve, also PM me. :)**

**  
Also, I think it's so amusing for half of my reviewers to love Adrian and Rose together, [ The Adrian how I've written it. Not smoking and drinking and stuff. ] and the other half to love Rose and Dimitri and be mad at me for what happened in the last chapter. xD Sorry if the atmosphere is a little sad, but, just think, if you went through what Rose had, you wouldn't be happy either. **

**And to my lovely reviewers who I thank tremendously;**

**Shoutouts****;**

**- mmsimpy09**

**- ShakespeareActressVamp**

**- SandonaBeachbytheSea**

**- Eta Carinae1**

**- MoliverCandyFluff**

**Thanks guys !  
Don't forget to review or PM me !**

~ DramaticField.

**~ Becca. **


	6. Chapter six

**Vulnerable;**

**Chapter Six**

**Rose's Point of View.**

My mother was in shock for many minutes. It was quiet and I took it to my advantage as I buried my face into the pillow that still smelt like Dimitri. I was scared of her reaction. I knew she could quite possibly be mad. To my surprise, after many, many long moments, I felt the bed shift and I looked up, only to see my mom exiting the cabin, shutting the door behind her. I never caught a glimpse of her face; not that I wanted to.

I put my face down in the pillow, wanting to scream. She was terrible. I kicked the floor of the cabin, not having anything else to kick. I was furious and I hurt my foot, but didn't cringe in pain or even react to it. It stung and was throbbing, but, it didn't matter. I was use to taking physical pain and I knew within 5 minutes, it would be gone. This however, the mental anguish wouldn't be gone for a very long time.

I could still feel the last kiss Dimitri and I had shared lingering on my lips. It made them burn and ache. I felt a lump appear in my throat as I choked back tears unsuccessfully. My eyes welled with tears and when I couldn't hold them back any longer, they flowed in a steady rhythm down my cheeks once more.

I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to go find Dimitri at whatever cost, and kill him. As much as I didn't want to kill him, I knew he would of wanted it.

I got up as my weak legs almost buckled under me. I got up so fast that I stumbled and I grasped the small table by the bed, steadying myself as I left the cabin, wiping the tears from my eyes.

I sighed and shut the door behind me, the cold air hitting me like a huge realization in the face. It made me shiver and I cursed under my breath, pulling my coat tighter around me. I frowned and tried to collect myself before I left the comfort of the trees, wandering into the public eye.

I came to the edge of the trees and took a deep breath in as I walked slowly, but not too slowly to the doors of the academy. I threw them open and the heat inside almost killed me. They always had the heat on bust when it was cold out, because the Moroi's are much sensitive to heat then us. I quickly left the lobby and went up the stairs, getting to my room. I was about to open the door when I heard a voice behind me. I scoffed and frowned. I would recognize it anywhere. Jesse.

"So, the big shot, Miss Rose Hathaway, has been crying." he said raising an eye brow.

I only now realized that there was probably mascara streaking my face, terribly. "Uh, no? It's allergies." I was grateful for my convincing lying skills now. Hopefully, it sounded truthful.

He laughed. "Mhm, and Dimitri was just your 'trainer', right?"

I cringed at his name and swallowed hard, trying to think of a way to get myself out of this. I bit my lip, keeping my face calm.

"Yeah? What else would he be?" I asked, dreading his answer.

"You're _lover_?" He made the word, lover, sound like a diry word, but, in some ways, it was. Our love had been forbidden.

I scoffed. "You're really full of it." I said, strongly.

"No Rose, _you're _really full of it. How long did you think your little secret romance could go on?" he smirked, cocking an eye brow.

"What the _hell, _Jesse?" I said, angrily. "There was nothing going on with us." I yelled the words. They hit home.

"Mhm, sure." he said, grinning.

Then, an overwhelming rage came over me and I took my hand off the doorknob and without thinking, popped him one. Right in the mouth. He stumbled backwards, but other then that, it didn't phase him. Despite the fact that it was bleeding on the inside. He must've bit his lip from the impact. Still, I didn't regret it and I certainly wasn't sorry. Dimitri had took me away the last time I tried to kick his sorry little ass and now, I got to. I drew my arm back, my hand still in a fist as my fist, once again made contact with his face. It hit him in the nose then, and I heard a cracking nose as he went down on his knees, his face in his hands.

"You _bitch_!" he yelled, furiously as I seen blood covering his hands.

I knew I would be in trouble but as my anger calmed and the tears started to come, I realized I still had my hand in a fist. It somehow, didn't hurt. Even if it did, I couldn't feel it. I let my arm drop to my side, unable to unclench my fist as I heard the door open behind me and Adrian come out. Adrian looked at me, a smirk on his face and then took my hand, opening it so my fist was gone. He then seen the tears in my eyes and ran his index finger on the bags under my eyes, pushing me gently into my room as he bent down to help Jesse.

I sighed, shutting the door behind me as I entered my bedroom, tears coming down my face slowly, becoming faster and faster as time progressed. It must've been about 20 minutes by the time I heard a knock on my door.

"Rose?" It was Adrian's voice.

"Yeah-Huh?" I asked, shakily.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course."

Adrian entered the room then, a bandage in his hand as he shut it behind him.

"How is he?" I asked.

"You broke his nose." he said, trying to keep the smile playing on his lips, hidden. It didn't work.

I smirked. "Good," I said spitefully.

"Rose, I heard the conversation in the hallway." he said softly, coming over and sitting by me on the bed as he took my hands in his.

I tried not to meet his eyes, but something about the intenseifying green colour made it hard. I tore my gaze away from his and fixated my eyes on the bandage in his hand.

"Great," I said sarcastically.

"He was being an asshole." he said, frowning.

I just nodded and he took my right hand, the one I punched Jesse with and started wrapping the bandage around it.

"Does it hurt?" he asked.

I shook my head, "It's numb."

"I thought so."

I bit my lip, "Should it hurt?"

He nodded, "If you hit him hard enough to break his nose, more then likely you either would've broken a knuckle or something, or hurt your hand or wrist badly. Unless of course, you know how to punch."

I didn't know how to punch. "Is it broken?"

"I don't know. You need to go to the nurse to figure that out. But, my guess is no."

I nodded.

As he finished bandaging my hand, it was silent. I watched him bandage it carefully and when he was done, he spoke.

"What happened at the cabin?"

I swallowed, hard. "My mom showed up."

His brow furrowed. "Oh..."

I nodded, "Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I told her."

"Everything?"

"Yes, everything."

"Even what happened with you both right before the attack?"

I nodded.

"What did she say?"

I sighed, "She made sure nobody else knew but me and her and I told her nobody did besides you. After I told her what happend in the cabin, she left."

"Rose..." Adrian said, lovingly.

"I'm fine," I immediately said.

He chuckled, "Yeah and I believe that."

"You should."

"I don't."

I sighed, "Why not?"

He laid a hand on my cheek. "Because I know you better then that. You pushed me away so much, but I didn't realize how much I could learn just by observing. I know you better then you think."

I shook his hand off. "I don't even know who I am right now. How can you?"

"Because you're the same confused, erotic, amazing girl you were before. However, now, you're just... hurt and it's taking it's toll on you."

"I have changed." I protested.

He shook his head.

"How haven't I? I've been crying, staying away from everyone, more violent." I kept listing things off.

Adrian butted in, "Rose. Do you realize what you're saying? You've been crying, oh, so what? Sometimes, everyone needs to cry. You stayed away from most people anyway. You have a wall built up, you always have. You could only accept Lissa and Dimitri fully. And, well, you've always been violent, but now, it's easier to take out on people."

I knew he was right and the numb feeling in my hand started to dull and pain peirced through it. I frowned and looked at my hand. For some reason, the mental pain was over powering the physical pain so much that my eyes stayed glued to my hand, unresponsively. None of this seemed real, still.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

I nodded, "I'm fine. It's just starting to hurt." I told him, bending my 'hurt' hands fingers.

"Lets get you to the nurse." he said.

I shook my head, "There's no reason too."

He eyed me. "Rose, come on. Let's get you to the nurse."

As my hand started to throb, I nodded. "Fine," I breathed.

Adrian smiled and kissed my forehead. I got up, my knees still a little weak. I wanted to go find Dimitri. We walked to the nurse's office. I clutched my hand tightly to my chest as piercing, shooting pains went through it. It bit down hard on the inside of my cheek and we entered the nurses office, shutting the door behind us.

Nobody was there waiting and I took a seat as Adrian went up and explained what happened. The receptionist nodded and Adrian took a seat next to me momentarily.

The moments that passed before the nurse came out were silent. I wasn't up to talking about anything. My mom was being extremely unfair and unsupportive and Jesse was a jerk. I would of hit him again if I had the chance, however, I knew that I would be in enough trouble already. I looked up when I heard my name being called.

"Rosemarie Hathaway," the receptionist said softly. "The nurse will see you now."

**--**

**I hope you all like this chapter!  
Remember, review ! :]**

**I'm fairly happy with the way this chapter is written and I hope you all are too.**

**I've been getting review splits. Half of my reviewers like Dimitri and Rose and half like Adrian and Rose. I still don't want to say anything about the end couple, however, I do respect Richelle Mead's wishes in yes, Dimitri is Striogoi. That, I can promise everyone.**

**If you review, or pm or message me, I write faster ! :] I also like hearing your thoughts on how it should go. I have a feeling I know where the next little bit is going, but, if you have a suggestion, I'll be more then happy to try to incorporate it ! :]**

**~ Dramatic Field**

**a.k.a**

**Becca ! **


	7. Chapter seven

Vulnerable;

Chapter Seven.

**Rose's Point of View.**

I stood, my legs surprisingly strong. I looked to Adrian who was standing as well. He followed behind me as the receptionist lead us into the first room on the left.

"The nurse will be with you shortly." she said before disappearing out the door, shutting it on her way.

Adrian went over and sat on the chair in the corner. I went over and sat on the examining table, the paper ruffling beneath me as I did so.

I thought back to Dimitri. How his facial features always suited his face perfectly. The way his long coat flowed behind him in the wind and when he closed his eyes, he finally looked at peace.

I swallowed, hard. I frowned and took deep breaths in, trying to collect myself. I was torturing myself and I knew it. I felt my heart clench and I wrapped my arms around my stomach, flinching as I felt a sharp pain spike through my whole hand and up into my wrist. I scrunched up my nose, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.

"Ow," I moaned, softly.

"Does it hurt?" I heard Adrian's voice ring from the corner of the room.

I nodded, "It does."

He sighed, "Maybe you shouldn't of punched Jesse."

I laughed at this. "You're joking, right?"

He smirked, "Well, he's not worth causing you pain."

"Well it's better physical then emotional." I muttered.

His smile quickly faded. "I suppose your right." he said, flatly.

I didn't have a chance to respond as I heard the door open. I looked over and seen the nurse enter the room. She had on a long, white coat and a clip board in her hands.

"Rosemarie Hathaway?"

I didn't feel like correcting her and nodded, "Yes, that's me."

"You've hurt your hand in a fight?"

I grinned, It wasn't really a fight if the other didn't fight back. At least, physically. "Yep,"

"Okay, let's check out your hand." she said, shutting the door behind her as she scribbled something on her clip board and put it down on the counter, coming over to me.

She didn't say any more for many moments and people were right when they said silence was the loudest sound. She gently took my wrist in hers, pressing down in certain places, asking if it hurt.

I shook my head and she moved on to push down on another part. I cringed when she pushed down on the inside of my arm, on my wrist.

"Does it hurt?" she asked.

I nodded, "Yeah," I managed.

She nodded and then I felt a strong grasp on my hand. It was Adrian and I smiled at him softly. He was always there to help me through things.

She did a couple more things to my wrist and hand that I really didn't pay attention to.

"Looks like a sprain." she said after a few minutes with her clipboard.

I nodded.

"It seems as though Mr. Ivashkov has already bandaged it, but I suggest you put it on a little tighter is all."

I nodded, "Okay, thank you."

She smiled and nodded as she left the room, her white coat flowing behind her.

I slid effortlessly off the table and Adrian went over to the door, opening it and holding it open for me. I smiled thankfully to him but as soon as I left the room, I frowned.

Alberta and my mom were there, standing tall.

"Rosemarie-" my mom said, in her motherly tone that I despised. "What did we tell you about fighting?"

I rolled my eyes and the awkward tension filled the room between me and my mom. "Like it matters," I rebutted.

"What do you mean?" Alberta asked.

I sighed, "Nothing," I muttered.

I seen a small hint of sorrow and apology in my mothers eyes, but in a mere second, it was gone. "Rosemarie."

"Mom," I cut her off. "Stop calling me that. It's Rose. R-O-S-E."

A frown played on her lips. "Rose," she corrected herself to my pleasure. "You're not supposed to pick fights. You're an aspiring guardian. You need to act more mature and grown up."

That rotted me. Grown up? Grown up!? I couldn't get more grown up then I was now. I knew what love was. I expressed it in the deepest way possible with the man I was totally infatuated with. I knew what heartbreak was and I knew how to handle most situations and keep my head held high while doing it. I was dealing with my more then likely outcome as my future and I was being brave about it. How could she say that?

I scoffed, "He started it."

"What did he do?"

"It's irrelevant."

"No, actually, it's not."

I rolled my eyes, "It's over with now, okay? It won't happen again." I said half-heartedly.

My mom gave me a scorning look. "You better be right about that, young lady. If not, there will be serious consequences."

I nodded, "Mhm,"

Adrian was leaning in the doorway, listening to the conversation. My mom and Alberta turned and left the nurses office with one swift movement. I turned toward Adrian and shut my eyes as I stepped back, leaning on the wall behind me.

"Whoa... you're moms... wow."

I nodded and frowned. "Tell me about it. All she fucking cares about is me being a guardian. That's it. I'm so, so sick of it."

"Are you going to be a guardian?"

The question took me off guard, but I may as well of answered it truthfully, I thought.

"I don't know."

He sighed, "Rose, don't throw this all away. Don't give it all up just because of... _him_."

I frowned, closing my eyes. "I can't do it without him."

A nurse passed and Adrian took my good wrist. "Come on, we'll talk about this alone."

I nodded and took a deep breath in as we entered the near empty hallways. There was only one or two novices around and I was glad they didn't know me. Of course they had to hear some thing's about me. Who hadn't?

We got to my room in no time and I shut the door behind us. I sat on my bed, Adrian coming over and sitting on the chair by the foot of the bed. We stayed silent and I took a deep breath in as I got up, going over to the window. I scanned the ground below. It was sunny out and the day was just beginning to fade into the night. I bit my lip.

"I need to go." I said, finally making up my mind.

"What?" Adrian asked, sadly.

"I need to go. I need to leave." I paused. "Tonight."

"Rose, why?"

"I need to find him. I need to track him down. I need to kill him." I said, putting a hand on my forehead as I grasped onto the window sill with my other hand to keep my legs from giving out from under me.

"Stop this,"

"Stop what?"

"Rose, this is absurd!"

I shook my head, "It's not."

"Yes, it is. You can let this ruin your life." He said, seeming to be pleading with me.

"It _has _ruined my life and changed it in ways I didn't think possible. I can't do this, Adrian. I really, really can't." With this frightening realization, my body started to wrack with sobs. "I really, really can't."

I heard him get up and only mere seconds later he came over, putting his hands on my shoulders as he turned me around, facing him. He took me into his arms as I cried, each tear representing a memory long gone.

"Rose..." Adrian soothed. "Please, stop crying. Everything will be alright."

I shook my head and laughed in spite of the words. "Alright? No, It won't be alright. I'm going to be exactly like Anna!"

--

Authors Note;

  
I hope you guys like this chapter! They're coming out more quickly now as I've been getting more time and I have the exact idea in where it is going. I'm getting good reviews and I hope to get more reviews and reviewers. I'm going to start the next chapter soon, I promise. Just remember;

Review! :]

~ DramaticField

~ Becca! :]


	8. Chapter eight

Vulnerable;

Chapter Eight;

**Rose's Point of View.**

"Like Anna?" Adrian asked, confused. "Rose, what are you talking about?"

I sighed, "You know Anna? St. Vlad's guardian? She was Shadow Kissed." I said in only a small whisper. "She died because she went crazy from it."

Adrian frowned and hugged me tighter. "And even if you were doomed to that future, which I don't think you are, how could Dimitri being here or not help?" he asked.

I frowned and was silent for a few, long moments. "When Lissa was getting tortured by Jesse and them." I murmured. "Before the attack. Her darkness was transferred to me. Dimitri came and took me away. He helped me overcome the darkness. We were in the cabin and he told me how much he loved me. He told me he wouldn't let me become like Anna." I felt a silent tear stream slowly down my cheek. "He helped me overcome the darkness and I finally had hope that maybe he could keep me level headed." My body started to wrack with sobs and Adrian rested his chin on the top of my head.

"Rose..." he breathed. "You won't be like Anna. _I _won't let you."

My jaw was shaking now, tears soaked my cheeks. "Adrian..." I whispered. "I need to go. I'm sorry. I can't do this."

Adrian shook his head. "No, I refuse to let you go out into that world."

I pulled back, dropping my arms from the awkward embrace. "I _have _to."

"No Rose, you don't. You don't really want to throw all of this away." he countered.

"Adrian, stop, please. It's hard enough." I said wiping the warm tears off of my cheeks.

"He's _dead_ Rose!"

I shook my head, stepping back. "No, he's not. And, it's my mission to make sure he is."

I knew if I did find him, I would falter. Just like I had when I seen that blond bitch bite into his neck. I also knew I had to try and convince Jesse that me and Dimitri had nothing going on before the attack.

"Rose, I've never seen you like this." Adrian said, fixating his eyes on something distracting outside.

I just nodded, "I know." I said simply.

"If you have to go..." he said, trailing off as he frowned. "At least come to say goodbye to me."

I nodded and frowned, although, I was glad he was letting me leave. "I will."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He nodded, "I should go..." I seen the hurt in his eyes and my chest tightened. He had helped me a lot and all I could do was hurt him. All I could do was hurt everyone. "Meet me by the edge of the woods at 7. I know you'll probably leave when the day fades."

"I'm sorry." I said, looking down.

He shook his head. "Nothing to be sorry for." With that, he went over to the door and without looking back, left.

I sighed and shut the blinds to the window, going over and locking the door as I collapsed back on my bed. I cried into the many pillows scattered around. I cried and sulked until finally, I seen the sun start to set.

I would be eighteen in three days. It didn't matter. Only a week ago I was planning this event to the very last detail, now, it couldn't mean any more then a penny I found on the street.

I got up, taking a bag from under the bed. I threw it onto the bed and went over to my dresser, opening it and taking out a pair of pyjama pants, a baby-tee shirt and a few pairs of sweat pants, jeans and t-shirts and tank tops. I shoved them into the bag with a few more essentials and I changed into a pair of jeans and a tank top, shoving a sweater over it. I slipped on my sneakers and tied my hair up into a pony tail, putting my brush in my bag as well with a few pony tail holders and bobby pins. I took a deep breath in, shutting my eyes for a few moments as I finally went to the door, opening it and going into the hallway. I would come back for my bag.

I kept my head hung low, putting my I-pod headphones in my ears to block out the voices of the few people I passed. I exited the building, the air surprisingly warm.

I walked through campus quickly, silent reminders everywhere of what I was leaving behind. I then, came to the woods where I seen Adrian leaning under a tree.

"Rose... You came." He said, smiling.

I nodded, "No reason not to."

His smile then turned into a frown and I seen another figure step out of the dark, behind him.

"Rose..." It was my mothers voice. She came over to me and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close. I didn't hug back. I didn't see why she was doing this and I shook my head at Adrian, giving him a death stare. Why did he do this? "There's something you should know." my mom said, pulling back as she rested her hands on my shoulders.

I looked up at her. "What?"

"Dimitri..." she said softly. "He's... dead."

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "Mom, he's not. You know that. I wish everyone would stop saying it!" I almost yelled.

She shook her head. "No, Rose, you don't understand." she said softly. "Alberta and I... we killed him."

--

**I know this chapter is shorter then most. It's only three pages but I couldn't think of anything to add in to make it longer and I really wanted to leave it off where I did. **

**I'm getting more and more chapters of this out and I thank you guys for reading and reviewing!**

Also, I would espeically like to thank ShakespeareActressVamp for her ideas! She messaged me, saying I should have Rose try and leave, but Adrian stops her. I changed it up a little, but, I still went with the main idea! I hope you don't mind. So, this chapter is dedicated to her ! :)

**~ DramaticField.**

**~Becca!**


	9. Chapter nine

**Vulnerable;**

**Chapter Nine.**

**Rose's Point of View.**

My heart sank to my feet and my mother pulled back, out of the one-sided hug.

"W-What?" I stammered, incoherently.

"Sweetie..." It was weird to hear my mother call me that; care at all. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head and I didn't even feel tears creep up my throat. I was in shock. I couldn't say anything and Adrian frowned even more, coming over and wrapping his arms around me. Once again, I didn't hug back. - I couldn't.

"You're joking..." I finally said after many, long, awkward moments.

She shook her head, "Rose, I know it's hard to accept... I know you were... in _love _with him." she made love, once again, sound like a dirty, unbelievable word.

I bit my lip, feeling the tears come as the numb feeling associated with shock wore off. I shrugged out of Adrian's arms and started to slowly back up, away from the both of them. I swallowed, hard and started running. Running away from Adrian and my mother. Running away from my problems. Running away from life itself. Most drastically, I wanted to run away from my own skin.

I seen the passing surroundings. They seemed to go so slowly, yet, so fast at the same time. I could hardly process it. All I could feel was my feet hitting the ground, hard. Sometimes, vibrations went up through my legs.

I got to the entrance of the building my dorm was in then and I wasn't sure if I should go up to my room or if I should keep running. Against my better judgement, I did neither. I swallowed hard, entering the building as I rubbed the tears off of my face. My legs were about to buckle under me and I walked slowly down the long, empty hallway. I looked at pictures on the wall on my way of St. Vladimir, Anna and many other famous, superior guardians. I hadn't noticed the pictures before. I had went down this hall a million times, but my mind had been so diverted to the man I would see on the other side of those double doors, I didn't pay attention to any of my surroundings. It was like the first time I really seen. I seen pictures, statues on pillars and many other things. After a few minutes of my eyes lingering on the pictures I passed, I seen the double doors that only about a week ago would have my heart racing, my palms sweating and my thoughts jumbled.

The gym doors.

I approached them slowly, seeing the musty brown paint on the door starting to fade, speckling the door with small white spots everywhere. I swallowed hard and pushed the right door open.

The gym was empty. Not a soul nor person around. I shut the door behind me, taking a few slow steps into the vacant area. I seen a bunch of practise dummies around, that no doubt, I used with Dimitri last. I seen the mats in the corner of the room that he would be sat on, upon my arrival almost every practise. I seen something red and glossy, shining on the mats and curiously, I went over and seen what made my tears come once more. It had been another one of his old love novels that he read in his spare time. 'Romeo and Juliet.' was the name on the cover. One of William Shakespear's famous novels. The ending was dreadful, kind of like after the battle, except not did two totally different royal families lose a member of their family due to their love for one another, but two middle classed lovers caught between a life or death situation and in the end, neither died, but a part of ones soul and the whole soul of the other. Which, in my opinion, was even worse then physically dying.

I picked it up and sat on the mats, staring at only the cover for many long, moments. I figured a few things out. The book cover had a flower on it, half of the cover red, half of it blue. The bottom half of the cover, the blue part, instead of having the rose's stem, had the bottom of a stake. He wanted people to grasp that this wasn't only a novel where two lovers overcome challenges, but one where the challenges are bigger then you would think. I began to relate the book to my life. Not only was Romeo and Juliet's love forbidden, like my and Dimitri's, but the stake handle on the front related to what my life was supposed to be and the rose on top represented what a secret part of me wanted it to be. I wanted her life to be filled with love; with Dimitri. But, I also needed to protect Lissa. It was in my genes and I needed to fulfill my purpose as hard as it may be at this point.

I also figured out that silence was in fact the loudest sound. I didn't know which realization was more productive, but I wasn't about to sit here trying to figure it out. It would be pathetic. Then, without warning, I heard the gym doors open.

I seen Adrian enter, his hair messed up and his face pained.

"I knew I'd find you here." he said, his voice breaking.

I sighed and nodded.

"Rose... I'm sorry."

I shook my head. "No, no you're not! If you were, you wouldn't of set this up! It can't be true! None of it can be true!"

He frowned and came over, sitting on the floor by the mat. "Rose... Alberta and your mom did kill Dimitri. They said he was too powerful to have on the other side. His bodies in the chapel, waiting to be buried after an awake and a proper memorial ceremony."

I felt my jaw start to shake, tears brewing in my eyes.

"You're mom needed a way to tell you after she figured out what happened in the chapel and I had to help. I knew I had to do it to keep you from leaving, in search of something you would never, ever find if you searched the whole world."

I swallowed hard and for once, I knew what I needed. As irresponsible and stupid and un-guardian-like as it was, I needed it. I craved it.

"Come on, Rose. Let's bring you up to your room."

I sighed, "Can we go to yours?"

"If you want, sure."

He got up, extending his hand to me as I took it and he helped me up. It was silent as we walked past the practise dummies. One had a stake inserted right below his heart. My doing. Only now, I knew how to kill a Strigoi. The markings on the back of my neck proved it. The dummies didn't do the real thing justice. As hard as they were to catch in reality, sticking a stake through their heart was easier then the dummies.

We silently walked through the near empty hallways to his room. Everyone was with someone they loved. Whether it be a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend. They were all grieving some sort of loss. I didn't mind having the hallways empty though. It gave me more isolation from everyone. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

We got to his room after what my watch told me was a 5 minute walk. It seemed to fly by. He entered the room first and I followed, shutting the door behind me.

"Why did you want to come up here?" he asked, sitting on his bed.

I shrugged. "I don't know." I lied, joining him on the bed, not touching.

"Rose, seriously. Why?"

I sighed, "I need something from you."

He nodded, "I knew there was a reason behind it. What do you need?"

I bit my lip. "A drink."

He sighed.

"I know you quit drinking and all..." I said, trailing off. "But I know you have to have some up here."

He looked at me disapprovingly. "You don't want it."

"I knew you had some."

"Maybe, but I'm not giving it to you."

I scrunched my nose up. "Why?"

"Because you don't want to do this."

I nodded, "No, I don't." I agreed. "I _need _to."

He sighed, "Do you really need it that bad?" he asked, aggravated.

I nodded, "Adrian... please." I used my big brown flirtatious eyes on him.

"Damn it, Rose. You know I can't say no when you do that." he said, shaking his head as he wouldn't look at me.

"_Please._" I pretty much begged.

"Only one."

I smiled. "Alright." I would take what I could get.

He went to the cabinet in his room and pulled out a bottle of vodka. He went to the mini-fridge and got out some Pepsi.

"One glass." he said, eyeing me as though for once, he was serious.

I nodded, although, I knew I could get more if I wanted it. "One glass." I 'agreed.'

He took a glass out of the same cupboard that he got the vodka out of and filled the glass with one-fourth vodka and the rest Pepsi and ice cubs. I smiled as he brought it over, handing it to me.

"Thank you," I breathed, taking the glass from his hand eagerly.

I hadn't had a drink since before I left the Academy with Lissa and the scent of the alcohol was making me yearn for it as I pressed the glass to my lips and paused. Did I really want to throw being sober for a couple years away? Before I could answer it, I felt the cool, intense liquid running into my mouth and I couldn't say no.

I drank it quickly, the liquid somehow feeling like a security blanket. Like it could kill all the wrong in the world and make things better. Maybe it was only something I said over and over enough to myself to make me believe it, or maybe it was true. I didn't know. But what did I know lately? I put the empty glass on the bedside table. I felt a little better, my thoughts even more jumbled, but better. One glass was nothing compared to what I was use to before, although, I wasn't letting myself get drunk. I couldn't do that to Lissa or myself. Maybe even Adrian. I craved another one and I decided to ask, to see if I could get it.

"Can I have another?" I asked, hopefully.

He had all of the things put away. "No." he answered flatly.

"Please?"

He shook his head.

"Fine," I breathed.

My breath smelled like alcohol and for some reason, my stomach churned. I put a hand on my head, feeling a little sick as I felt the thick liquid moving about in my stomach.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Adrian asked, turning to my place on the bed next to him.

"I don't feel good..." I said softly. Just talking made me feel sick.

He looked at me worriedly and took the garbage bucket by the bed and handed it to me. I took it, a strong grip on it with my rubbery hands and as I thought I didn't need it and was about to put it down, I got sick, throwing up all the vodka in my stomach.

I probably should've eaten before having something so intense put into my system after not having it for so long. Stupid me.

--

Author's note;

I'm pretty pleased with the outcome of this chapter and the reviews I've been getting. Someone mentioned that Adrian didn't seem forceful enough and I honestly have to agree. I've sort of made him a little more sensitive and loving, but I do want to keep that forceful vibe to him. I'm working on it!

Also, I wanted to keep that adventurous, crazy Rose and I know she's learned from her past mistakes, but sometimes everyone takes a step back. I wanted this to show how desperate for comfort she was. How hurt. And, I hope this portrayed it well. 

So, I was hoping that you guys could tell me how you want this to go. I mean, do you like Adrian the way I've written him? Obviously, Dimitri is dead now, but that could change, Dimitri fans, so, stayed tuned. ;)

Don't forget to review! :]

~DramaticField

~Becca


	10. Chapter ten

Vulnerable

Chapter Ten

**Rose's Point of View**

"Rose," Adrian said worriedly. "Are you okay?"

I took a few deep breaths in and nodded. "I'm fine." I lied, placing a hand upon my stomach and laying the bucket down on the floor.

"You don't seem okay."

"I'm fine," I retorted.

"Fine, fine, fine." he said softly. "Do you want to go back to your room?"

I shook my head. "I want another drink."

He chuckled. "You just threw all of it up, Rose. You're not having another one."

I frowned, "Exactly, so, it's not in my system anymore."

"I'll let you have one more if you eat."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

"Come on, then." he said, taking my hand and helped me stand.

My knees were weak and wouldn't hold my weight. I fell back on the bed and a heat wave crashed over me.

"I can't get up." I said weakly.

"I'll bring you something. Stay here."

I nodded. "Okay."

With that, he left and for once, he wasn't worried to leave me alone to find an escape plan because my body wasn't working properly. I knew most of it was probably in my head, but for now, I just wanted to lie around, drink and eat ice cream. Although, I knew Adrian too well to think he would just get me ice cream. He wanted me to actually eat, as much as my stomach protested it.

I looked around the room, seeing nothing unusual for a Dhampir's room. He was always talking about how he was 'above the rules' however his room just looked like any other.

Dimitri's room had been warm... filled with some overwhelming sense of love and a strange sense of comfort. I could still remember when we almost made love on his bed, when Victor put the lust spell on us. He had said it couldn't work unless the two people it was cast on were really in love. That evidence right there told me that what Dimitri and I had was so much more then just an animal passion. It had been - It _is_ love.

Thinking back to the night before the attack. How warm we both were together in the cabin, a lump came in my throat and once more, I started crying. There was something wrong with me. Seriously wrong. I had never been like this before. I pulled my legs up to my chest and I took a few deep breaths in as I shook my head. He was really gone...

With that, my head snapped up at the opening of the door.

"Rose?" Adrian said, entering the room with a tray full of food. He put it on the table, shut the door and came over to me, kneeling in front of me. "What's wrong?"

"Dimitri," I murmured.

"Again?" he breathed. "It's still bothering you to the point of tears?"

"There's something _wrong _with me." I muttered.

He shook his head, chuckling without humour. "There is not." he protested. "You just lost the love of your life. It's normal."

"You don't understand," I murmured. "I'm not normal." I said, level-headedly.

"That's not true and you know it." he said as I wiped my eyes.

He then stood before I could protest and went over to the table, taking the tray and bringing it over to me, putting it on the bedside table.

"Eat," he said softly, kissing my forehead in a friendly gesture. "I'll be back soon."

I nodded, "Where are you going?"

"It doesn't matter."

I knew he wouldn't tell me, so I let it slide. "Alright."

"See you soon little Dhampir."

I nodded. "Bye."

Then, he left the room.

I looked at the tray of food for a few long moments before starting in on it, my stomach growling to tell me to eat it already. There was pasta and garlic bread with some corn on the side. It looked really good and maybe after all Adrian was above the rules, I mean, we certainly didn't get this stuff on a daily basis.

I started to eat it, not knowing how hungry I was beforehand. I got it all down in 10 minutes and then looked over at the alcohol. The craving for it certainly wasn't intense as it was and I turned away from it. I could of easily gotten it, but I decided to forget about it. At least for now.

I thought back to what my mother had said, for the longest time. "He's dead, Rose." Was pretty much all I heard, along with, "We killed him." I wanted to do it myself... I wanted to be able to be strong enough and brave enough to kill him myself. Defeat him.

Maybe she was lying? Then again, she had no reason to be. At least now, he was at peace. Resting. Resting in Peace. The thought of his lifeless body in a casket, rotting made my heart clench, although, it was burned into my mind. Those big, full lips going to waste along with his soft hands. I knew I needed to see him before the ceremonial burry took place, but I wanted to go alone. Just like I had the cabin, which I still wasn't sure was good for me or not. Sometimes, I thought I had closure, others, I was just as bad as right after the battle. Maybe I'd never be the same again, it was hard to tell.

I swallowed hard and sighed. I waited 5 more minutes for Adrian to return, but he didn't. Then, I heard the room's phone ring and on instinct, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"You're still there?" It was Adrian's voice.

"Yes,"

"Okay, good. I'm sorry, I got a little tied up. But, if you want to go back to your room, do so. I'll find you when you get back."

I nodded. "Alright." I said, about to hang up when I heard his voice again.

"And if you've been into that alcohols so help me-"

"I haven't touched it." I said, cutting him off.

"Good," he said, his voice full of satisfaction.

I nodded. "Bye, Adrian."

"Talk to you later."

I hung up the phone then and stood carefully, walking to the door. I turned the lights off behind me and exited the room, going into the hallway. The hallways were buzzing with life; something I didn't have. There were people everywhere and when I entered, the hall went quiet. I had figured that Jesse more then likely told his suspicion about Dimitri and I. And when I seen Ralf staring, I had enough.

"Okay," I said irritably. "What's going on?" Right then, I spoke to everyone in the hallway. "What is the big news going around about me? Someone please share."

A little Moroi girl that I hadn't seen before spoke up. "Were you and Guardian Belikov… together?" She asked, her deep blue eyes burning with curiosity and fear as her brown hair danced in the wind from the open window behind her. I had to respect her for speaking her mind, something I frequently did.

I rolled my eyes casually, like it was no big deal. "No, that's not true." I stated strongly. "Who told you that?"

"Jesse." She answered sheepishly.

"And you believe someone who can hardly tie his shoes and count to 10 without difficulty?" I asked, cocking an eye brow.

She shrugged. "Shit happens." She answered.

I nodded, "Yes, indeed it does. I know all about that." I said, rolling my eyes and spinning around, making sure to bitchily flip my hair over my shoulder and walk off.

When I got to my room, I entered slowly, flipping the light switch as I did so. I was more then startled to see Alberta in there, looking out the window.

"Alberta?" I asked, my brow furrowed as I shut the door behind me, gently.

"Hello, Rose." She answered, not turning to face me.

"What are you doing in here?"

She turned then, her face had a huge scar on the side of it and I felt my jaw drop. "Rosemarie," she said, using my full name. "We need to talk."

I nodded, "About?"

"Something I heard… Something your mother and I did… Something I need your word to."

I nodded again, signalizing for her to continue.

"Dimitri," she stated softly. "You and Dimitri…" Although it wasn't phrased in a question exactly, I knew what she was asking.

"No," I breathed. "Nothing happened between us." I lied.

"I have reason to believe otherwise." she said, her face totally composed.

"Which is?"

"Your mother."

I stared blankly. "What about her?"

"She told me what happened between you both in the cabin. What you told her about your secret love affair before the attack."

I swallowed, hard, blinking. "Mhm," it was the most intelligent response I could muster up.

"You could of gotten him fired, Rose. You could have been kicked out of the academy. But most of all, you could of killed him, yourself and Lissa in the process."

I sighed and nodded. "Alberta…" I murmured.

"I'm not done." she said strongly, her words like a slap in the face. "I've noticed your change in behaviour and emotions since the attack, but I just thought it was stress or you and Lissa's bond catching up to you even more." she admitted. "Although, now it all fits together. The way you've been mourning, the way you acted at the ceremony, the way that no matter how anything is, your eyes are usually red and puffy."

I closed my eyes and took a small breath in. I was a mess.

"It all points to the same thing that everyone at this academy was blind to for way too long."

I nodded, prepared to take almost any punishment thrown at me. _Almost._

"Rose… what do you have to say for yourself?"

I suddenly felt the power in this situation. "All I have to say is if I could do it again, totally differently, knowing the same outcome, I wouldn't change a thing."

Alberta smiled and nodded, "That's what I was hoping."

I began to protest, but then, to my surprise, the words sank in. Now I was confused. "What?"

"You've always been head-strong and reckless until Dimitri took you under his wing." she said softly, coming over, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"He's helped you in more then just one way." she said, "He's kept your feet on the ground. Your head and heart in the right place. And although the love _was _forbidden, I'm glad you wouldn't change a thing. If you did, you could quite possibly a totally different girl then you are now. Even Headmistress Kirova has seen a remarkable change." she said, tightening her grip on my shoulder, then dropped her arm to her side. "You've turned into a very good guardian, Rosemarie. Better then everyone suspected when you first arrived." I liked that Alberta was honest. "The amount of girl guardians is quickly declining but I've got a strong feeling that you will be around for a very long time." she said, warmly.

"Thank you, Alberta." I breathed, unable to think of a better response.

"She smiled you're welcome. Oh and about your mother and I." she said, pausing. "We did kill Dimitri." she murmured. "Only because he's a force to be reckoned with. I don't think we'd all stand a chance in an attack if he was on their side." she shivered at the thought as did I.

I nodded, "I understand." I breathed.

"We're having a small open house for a few members of faculty, etcetera tomorrow, so, drop by." she murmured. "And I want your word on becoming a guardian. Do you have any doubts?"

I shook my head. "Not anymore." I said honestly.

She smiled and nodded. "I'll see you later, Rose." she said as she left the room.

I then sighed and took a deep breath in, collapsing back on the bed. I started to think about everything Alberta just said until something really popped into my head. I was shadow kissed, meaning I seen the dead at times when there wasn't wards. Now, Dimitri was dead. Was there a way that I could speak to him? There had to be. As this thrilling idea came into mind, I also remembered that the ghosts lingered around the dead world for anywhere after 40 days that they died. Alberta and my mom had only killed him recently.

I jumped off of my bed then, and ran out of my room. I ran through the crowded hallways until I reached outside. Now, all I had to do was find Lissa and get through those guarded gates.

--

Author's note;

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! It's pretty long and took a lot of effort. The end is for my own sick amusement and I hope you all liked it. ;)

And like I promised Dimitri fans, all hope is not lost and Adrian fans, stayed tuned to see just what he is up to!

I'd like to hear what you think he could be up to and which fan side your on. If you feel verbal, you can explain. The more the merrier. :)  
I won't be updating until I get 5-15 reviews, so remember;

Review! :)

~DramaticField  
!Becca!


	11. Chapter eleven

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Rose's point of view.**

I figured the best place to look for Lissa was the chapel. I ran to the chapel, ignoring the strange looks people gave. I entered the empty chapel and my eyes scanned the empty pews, knowing just a little while ago, I was curled up in one, praying for Dimitri to come back. When he didn't, I knew that this 'God' thing that Lissa was always talking about was nothing more then a pile of crap, which, I still believed. My shadow-kissed being made Dimitri be brought back into my life, not 'God' or 'Jesus.' I hated it when people said such ridiculous things.

I shook my head, ridding the thoughts and just proceeded into the direction I was headed, walking past all the pews and the front of the chapel where the rest of the Dhampir's finishing up their last term in training would get their promise mark, assuming they were ready and capable to. Mine felt right, now. After that talk with Alberta, I finally found that I did fit in and I did deserve it, in a way. On the other hand, I felt myself being so caught up with Dimitri, that I didn't know if I deserved it. It was a world wind of emotions.

I stepped on the creaking stairs to get up to Lissa and Christian's secret get-away. I got up to the old, oak door a minute later and knocked on it with a heavy hand, hoping to god I wasn't interrupting something, which, I knew I was. I took a deep breath in.

"Liss?" I asked, knowing they were in there from a few choice noises coming through the wooden oak door.

"Rose?" I heard her small voice come from the room, her breathing irregular and I cursed in my mind. I probably should of found a better way to go about finding her, but all that mattered now was Dimitri.

"Yes, it's me. You need to come with me." I stated.

"Where?" I heard her and Christian rustling around the room now.

"Outside the gates." I said solemnly, trying not to picture anything I shouldn't be, blocking myself as much as I could so I wouldn't slip into Lissa's mind, through all of the confusion being sent through the bond, now.

"Why?" she asked.

"I need to do something." I paused, "I need you to help."

It was silent for a few minutes as I knew her and Christian were getting dressed. I then heard the doorknob unlock and turn as her small figure stepped out, her hair a mess and her shirt on inside out. I couldn't help but to grin.

"You may want to fix that." I said, nodding toward her shirt.

She blushed a deep red against her ivory skin, making her even more beautiful. "I'll be right back." she said, slipping back into the room and coming out moments later, her shirt corrected. "Now," she spoke softly. "Why do we need to go outside the gates?"

I sighed, "Dimitri's dead," I said, almost inaudibly. "I need to tell you something on the way... I need to do something."

She nodded reluctantly at my sad features and followed me outside the chapel. I took the more secluded route so I could tell Lissa about my and Dimitri's relationship in peace and so no one else could possibly hear.

"I loved him, Liss..." I kept my voice low, swallowing hard.

She frowned and nodded. "It was mutual, wasn't it?" she asked, putting the pieces together herself, finally after all these months.

I nodded. "Yes," I said gently.

"But, I mean, it was… forbidden." she responded.

I nodded. "I know, I know…" I didn't meet her eyes and sighed. "God, didn't I know."

She frowned, staying silent, waiting for me to lose it, or rant, which to her surprise, I did neither. "Can I tell you something that I want to stay strictly between us?"

She nodded, "Of course. You can tell me anything."

"Don't even tell Christian?"

"My lips are sealed, I promise."

I nodded and looked down, watching my feet move one in front of the other, about a foot apart. "We slept together. _Right_ before the attack, Liss." I made sure to keep mu voice low, just in case. I didn't know what her reaction was going to be until I felt despair and hatred, toward herself, slip through the bond. She seemed angry with herself that she didn't see the connection before, which I found completely irrelevant. She knew now and that was all that mattered.

She gasped. "Rose, you could get in so much trouble!"

"Shhh," I hushed her, looking around, making sure no one was around, which, they weren't. "I know, I know. But I don't care. Liss, he's gone now... my mom and Alberta killed him... My mom and Alberta know about our relationship... Alberta's glad I did what I did... She said it changed me for the better. I told my mom about us when she found me in the cabin... I was a wreck."

She frowned, her eyes moistening as she turned and hugged me, stopping us dead in our tracks. "Oh Rose," she cried. "I'm so, so sorry! Why didn't you tell me!?"

"I couldn't tell anyone." I stated, hugging my best friend - who was more like my sister, back. "Adrian figured it out on his own... That's why I've been with him for the last little while. He's been helping me..."

She nodded and pulled back. "What about the future? You were both going to guard me, how was that going to work?" she questioned.

I bit my lip. "He wasn't going to guard you. He was going to let me. He'd still be around, enabling him to guard you, anyways, but me and some other specially trained guardian would of guarded you so he and I could be together."

She just nodded, absorbing all of the information like a sponge. "You had everything all planned out..." she stated.

I nodded. "Then the battle came." I said, tears building up in my eyes as we started to walk again, getting close to the gates. She linked our arms together.

"Oh Rose, I would die if anything happened to Christian... I know what it must be like for you..." she said gently.

I nodded, swallowing, hard, blinking back tears. "Yeah." I said, simply. "But don't say that, Liss. You wouldn't die…"

She nodded, knowing I was probably right. She would be the same way I was now, well, probably worse, honestly. We were both silent on the rest of the way to the gates and when we got there, I took a deep breath in and seen Stan guarding the gates.

"Liss, I need you to use compulsion on him."

She nodded. "Anything for you."

I smiled and kissed her cheek in a sisterly gesture. "Thanks."

She smiled. "No problem. Let's go."

I nodded as we approached him. He looked awkwardly at us. "What are you both doing out here?"

I looked to Liss and she started concentrating on Stan. "Stan, I need you to let us out the gates... _You want to let us out of the gates._" she said, the last part like a trance.

He nodded, reluctantly and let us out after a moment of confusion on his part. I smiled and we ran out, just enough so I could conjure up his spirit.

"Dimitri," I said. "Please... come out... come to me." I sounded like one of those psychics in one of those old thriller movies and I knew how ridiculous it sounded.

As soon as the words were out of my mouth, his shape materialized before my eyes, causing me to stumble back and take a deep breath in, making me forget about everything else.

"Roza," he spoke to me. It caught me off guard. Mason didn't talk... "I'm so... so sorry."

I felt tears coming to my eyes and bit my lip. "Where's your body?"

"Don't even think about it." he said, solemnly, knowing somehow what I was going to say; do.

"Where is it?" I persisted.

He sighed. "Behind our cabin in the woods."

I smiled as he spoke. 'Our' cabin. "Okay. I'll be right back."

He nodded and disappeared. "Lissa," I said softly. "Come with me." I said as we ran back through the gates and to the cabin in the woods.

Lissa seemed confused as she ran behind me. She didn't understand how I could talk to Dimitri. She didn't understand how I could see him. She just stood there, watching me make a complete fool out of myself to everyone else's eyes, talking to 'myself.' I felt something then, through the bond. It was... sadness. I didn't want to investigate anymore into it until after everything was fixed because I know when she healed Dimitri, I would take all the darkness and sadness from her, bringing it into myself, which in my opinion was a small price to pay for being with Dimitri once again.

We ran hastily through the woods, the trees passing quickly, one by one. Spruce, Pine, Maple... I just watched them all blur before my eyes. My body seemed physically exhausted but my mind made me keep running until, finally, I seen what I had been out to get to. The cabin in the woods.

My breath hitched looking at it, but I swallowed hard and went around back, Lissa catching up, breathlessly. I seen what I dreaded to see then. Dimitri's torn up, beaten body laying in what seemed like some sort of wooden box, lifelessly. I teared up, but not letting myself cry, especially in front of Lissa, I just motioned her over. My eyes were moist, but it didn't bother me. They had been like that ever since Dimitri's fall, making me used to something I had never been used to before; Crying.

"I need to ask you something?" I asked her, kneeling down by the wooden box, stroking his cheek with my fingertips gently. His cold, pale skin. I hated to see him like that. It pulled horribly on my heartstrings. His skin was like baby's skin, though. Soft and porcelain, like.

"Yes?" she replied simply, hearing the sad, serious and distressed tone of my voice.

I tried to stay strong. "Lissa, please, heal him..."

She then looked at his body, which she had seemed to be trying not to do the mere minute we were there and gulped.

Her weak, fragile voice came through in nothing but a mere whisper. "I can't do it, Rose... I'm so sorry."

**--**

**I hope you guys liked this chapter and I really apologize for not getting it out sooner. It's been really hectic now, it being summer and all and I'm finding it a little tricky to update frequently on all of my stories. I guess this one has been put to the back burner for a little while, which I apologize for but now, I feel like I've gotten back on track with it, inspiration wise.**

**I dedicate this chapter to my dearest friend, Cathleen. She is the only reason that this chapters done. She helped me figure out where it could go and how it could get there a few nights ago and I know I couldn't of put this out without her. My inspiration had jumped off the band wagon.**

**I also thank you guys deeply for being faithful to my story and always coaxing me on to write more. :) You guys are the best !**

**I had a blog now, too ! All of my stories, this and '7 minutes in heaven', being the main two, will have updates posted regularly, at least twice every week. I hope you guys can go check it out and follow me. [ The little column on the right when you scroll down. ] It would mean a lot !**

_**The link for my blog is:**_

**h t t p : // d r a m a t i c f i e l d . b l o g s p o t . c o m /**

_**[[[[ Without the spaces. It wouldn't let me put the link in without them, for some reason. ]]]]**_

**And in case you want to add me on **_**Twitter**_**, my account is : '****Beckah28****' :)**

**Thanks for reading, !**

**  
****Review !**

**~ DramaticField.**

**~Becca !**


	12. Chapter twelve

**Vulnerable.**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Rose's point of view.**

I was taken back. "What? What do you mean you can't do it?" I asked, surprised at her words.

"I just c_an't_." she said, her composure slowly breaking.

"Why the hell not?" I never spoke to her like this before and I suppose I surprised myself a little.

"Rose, just think." she said, throwing her arms in the air. "When I heal someone, the effects go to you! Everything associated with healing them, _my _darkness, gets transfered to _you_. It makes you crazy, and that's only if I heal someone. Think of what bringing someone back to life, Shadow Kissed would cause you!" she cried. "I seen what it does to you... Just my healing.... I mean, I can't bring someone back to life with the thought of knowing your going to be hurt... Really hurt." she said sadly.

"I won't be hurt." I protested. "A few minutes of insanity will be worth having him back in my life, Liss. Please."

She shook her head. "Rose, I _can't_." she said, regretfully. "What if it's not just a few minutes of the darkness?" she asked.

I sighed, closing my eyes. "Lissa, I don't _care_ about what it'll do to me. It'll go away in time. Dimitri is what I care about. I love him and I will love him until I hit my death bed and I can be with him in the spirit world. I _need _him. _You _need him.He's supposed to protect you, too. If we both have a special connection to you, we can protect you even more." I was groveling and I knew it, sadly.

"Rose, I can't put your life in danger to save Dimitri... I just can't." she said, tears brewing in her eyes.

"Your not putting my life in danger!" I retaliated.

"I could be!"

"You don't know that!'

"Neither do you!"

I sighed, "This isn't fair." I spat as I turned all my attention back to Dimitri, making a lump form in my throat.

His perfect features still shone though even in the spell of death. He was pale, just like a Moroi and cold to the touch, but he was still him and his spirit still lurked in the shadows of the world. However, it was only for 40 days... at the most.

Lissa frowned and came over, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Rose."

"No, no you're not! Because if you were, you would do this one, simple thing for me!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks. "I don't care about myself. I care about Dimitri!"

"Rose, you don't know what you're saying!" She said frantically.

"Yes, I do, actually. I love him, Lissa. Wouldn't you do anything to help Christian?"

She opened her mouth to speak but I cut her off, "You would." I answered for her. "You love Christian and I love Dimitri, meaning we'd both do anything for the one we love."

"But this is your life we're talking about!?"

"It's Dimitri's too." I stated. "And you don't know _how _this would affect me."

"But there's a chance of anything happening!" she said, evening the score.

I sighed, "Whatever."

She rubbed my back gently. "I'm sorry." she said before turning on her heel and walking away. Probably back to Christian, I though, spitefully.

I looked down at Dimitri. His lifeless body laying motionless on the brown grass beneath him. His eyes were open, but the deep brown colouring that used to make me melt wasn't visible. His eyes were all white, giving him a fierce edge. In a way, I was glad I didn't have to fight him. I don't think I'd be able to look into those hungry, red eyes he would've had and seen every detail of his face and still drive that stake through his heart, evil, or not. I shivered at the images racing through my mind. It made the tears come easier. It made my body shake and shiver and sob. I trailled my fingers down his arm. He was cold. Real cold.

"Rose!" I heard a voice yell, relievedly, that broke my daze, tearing me from my thoughts.

I recognized the voice immediately and I seen Adrian run over, egulfing me into his arms. The tears still came, my body sobbing even harder, even in his prescence.

"Adrian..." I said, burying my face into his shoulder, soaking his polo with warm, salty tears.

"It's okay, Rose. Oh fuck... It's okay."

"How did you find me here?" I asked, weakly.

"Lissa got me." he said, rubbing my back.

I smiled. At least she knew me enough to know what... who I need, and when.

"Are you okay?" he asked, pulling back to observe my face.

I shook my head, unable to look him in the eye. "No..." I said weakly. "I'm just... Ugh, yes, I'm okay. I'm just... taken back. For god sake, Adrian, Lissa wouldn't heal him!" I said, pointing to him, swallowing, hard.

He nodded, hugging me again. "She told me the story and honestly, Rose, she's right. I mean... what if she does and maybe nothing happens to you. But just think if that happens and then another battle comes, and something happens, making you lose him again. Can you really go through this from the start all over again?"

I sighed, "Just stop being rational. Please."

He chuckled. "Rose, come on. Let's go."

I raised a brow. "Where?"

"Away from here..." he said, kissing my forehead.

"Why?" I asked softly.

"You don't need this."

I nodded, although, I knew I'd go back soon. "Alright." I said as I went over once more, taking his cold, pale hand in mind and kissed his cheek. "I love you," I said softly, whispering it in his ear. "I'll always love you." I felt more tears come and then, I took Adrian's outstretched hand and he helped me up, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as I leaned into him and we walked back to the academy.

"You know... You don't always have to pick me up when I fall, so to speak." I murmured when I calmed down a little more.

"I like doing it." he said, smiling down at me.

"Can I ask why?"

"Rose, you know I have feelings for you..." he said, trailing off in spite of the moment.

I just nodded, not quite understanding why he did. I mean, I loved Dimitri and I didn't think that would ever change. Though, here now, like this, I realized that maybe, just maybe he could be more then just a friend. No, I wasn't ready to marry him or anything like that, but his sweet, kindred being shone brightly now that he gave up the witty remarks about seeing me naked, sleeping with me, the drinking, and those repulsive clover cigarettes. The attack changed him too, I realized. He was a different person. No, he didn't give up completely on some of his comments, but, if he did, he wouldn't be Adrian anymore at all and I liked him now, just the way he was.

He let his arm drop from my shoulder and feeling bold, I supposed, trailed his fingers down my arm, intertwining my fingers with his. "Rose, I know you still love Dimitri. I'm not blind. I know you're feelings for Dimitri won't fade anytime soon, -maybe ever. But, I want you to know how I feel. I want to put myself out there... Let you know your options."

I nodded again. "Yeah," I said softly. "I understand." I then stopped walking and when he realized it, he turned to face me, our bodies only about a foot apart, our fingers intertwined.

"What's wrong?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I just... I want to try something." I stated boldly.

Confusion filled his features but he nodded. "Okay, what is it?"

I took a deep breath in. "Kiss me."

"What?" he instantly replied.

"_Kiss_ _me_." I repeated.

"Why, Rose?"

"Just do it."

I wanted to see what it felt like, truly felt like to feel Adrian's lips on mine. I wanted to see if anything could ever amount to us being together. I wanted to try, just this once to see if I could move on... Have a life again and stop my grieving... No, _finish_ my grieving over Dimitri's demise. He had been taken down. Something he wanted. Something I promise him I would do. Right now, I knew if I had done it or not wasn't the issue. The thing was that he _was _put to rest, forever. His soul was let free of that dead, sick state.

Adrian was confused, I could easy tell that. But even through uncertainty, he moved his hand up, cupping my cheek. He hesitated for a brief moment and then, finally, leaned down, enclosing the distance between us, his lips gently brushing against mine.

**--**

**Hey everyone ! Sorry for not updating in forever, but I've been extremely busy! **

**I have and read Blood Promise and it's definitely the best book in the VA series. I promise to keep this story my own, however and no spoilers are going to be revealed and none of this story will be based off BP, it wasn't supposed to be my version of BP, anyways. **

**Once again, my blog is -**

**h t t p : // d r a m a t i c f i e l d . b l o g s p o t . c o m /**

**[without the spaces.]**

**ALSO:**

**I've gotten a new youtube account for fan fiction purposes-**

**h t t p : // w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / u s e r / D r a m a t i c F i e l d 1 0 0**

**[without spaces.] **

**I've got 2 videos I need to upload onto the account and I'll be doing that in the next few days. There's one 'VA Cast' Video, of who I think should play the characters in VA, and, theres a 'teaser trailer' for this story, [Vulnerable] that needs to be posted. :] **

**The teaser trailer is up on my actual account and the link is -**

**h t t p : // w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / w a t c h ? v = C x J Z y c T J m g k & f e a t u r e = c h a n n e l _ p a g e**

**[without spaces.]**

**But I'm also putting it on my new account. **

**They aren't exactly that good, but the teaser trailer was made on Movie Maker.**

**I'm currently learning how to use Sony Vegas and that's what I used for the cast video.**

**Go check it out! :)**

**~ DramaticField**

**~ Becca**


	13. Chapter thirteen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Rose's Point of View**

When his lips brushed against mine the first time, it never really clicked. It was quick. Unequalled to a few seconds at max. Then, he pressed his lips to mine again, a little harder, taking a step toward me, our bodies only about a inch apart. I found myself subconsciously kissing back, to my and his surprise.

I felt something more powerful take over then as I enclosed the rest of the distance between us, our bodies pressed together tightly. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, his hands resting on the small of my back. I moved my arms up so they locked around his neck and I felt the kisses intensity growing rapidly.

It was nothing compared to what Dimitri and I shared, no. But, it was something, I couldn't deny that. It had potential to amount to more... Just not yet. I pulled back after a few more moments and he kept his eyes closed for a second longer then necessary.

It was kind of like the kisses in movie theatres, as cliché as it seems. Though, in the movies, it usually amounts to sex or foreplay of some sort. And usually, the two people were totally in love with one another. Adrian said he loved me before, but he hadn't exactly said it in a serious tone and he hadn't said he was _in_ love with me, either. He couldn't be in love with me. There was a huge difference. I love Adrian, but I'm not _in _love with him. I'm _in _love with Dimitri, as much as it pains me.

Adrian opened his eyes, taking a deep breath in as he untwined one of his arms from around my waist, bringing it up to my cheek, once more. He softly ran his index finger over my cheekbone, the silence, comfortable. There was no need for words then. I seen the love in his eyes as he looked at me, his luminescent, green eyes gleaming in the dim light. I knew he seen something in my eyes, too, because he smiled.

"Ready to get back?" he asked after a few more moments.

I nodded, taking a deep breath in as I came back to reality. "Yeah."

He extended his hand to me and I took it without hesitating. The first step I took away from Dimitri was the longest, now, every step filled my body with agony. I should try to do more... Try to help him as much as I could in his state now.

"Rose," Adrian said, his eyes flickering up to meet mine. "don't."

"Don't?" I asked, confused.

"Don't beat yourself up about Dimitri's," I could tell he was searching for the right word so he wouldn't upset me.

"Death." I added it in for him.

He nodded, squeezing my hand. "Or Lissa's choice not to bring him back."

I sighed. "It's my fault he's gone."

Adrian stopped walking and turned to me, taking my other hand in his other one as well. "Don't you ever say that."

"Why, Adrian? It's the truth!"

"Why do you think that?" he asked, frowning.

I groaned thinking back to the battle. "If I had of tried harder to get to him... When the blond bite him... I could of saved him..."

"How? By getting yourself taken, killed or turned instead?" he asked sternly.

"I would of found a way." I said, deciding against commenting about the last part.

"Stop." he said, leaning in. "Really, Rose, stop."

I nodded and inhaled deeply. "It's just hard. I go through so many 'what if's...' a day and it kills me to know that I could of done more."

"But it wouldn't of been safe. We couldn't lose you and him, Rose. Lissa lost one of her guardians, the school lost a treasured guardian and his family lost a brother, a son, a grandson. We definitely don't need to lose you, too." he said, kissing my forehead.

I nodded, but my stubbornness shone through because the guilt still laid there, heavy in my stomach. It probably always would. "Okay."

He sighed. "Dimitri wouldn't of wanted you to put yourself in danger for him. He would of wanted you to go on... move on... have as good as a life you can. Become a guardian; Lissa's guardian. He had faith in you, Rose. He really did."

I felt my eyes start to burn. "And now that he's gone, I have to do this alone."

Adrian engulfed me into a hug. "You're not alone. You've got me and Lissa and so many others that love you. You'll protect Lissa with another good, specially trained guardian and she'll be safe. You're never going to be alone."

I pulled back and shook my head. "I can guard her myself."

"Rose-"

"No, I can do it, I know I can."

He sighed. "I know you can, too. But it's not _safe_. For you, _or_ her."

"I don't want to do this right now." I said, looking down. I needed more time to fix myself before trying to think rationally. Before trying to decide my unruly future.

He nodded. "I can't say I understand, because I don't. But, I'm here for you."

I nodded and gave him my best smile. "I know. Thank you."

He smiled. "Anytime little dhampir."

I smiled genuinely at the nickname he gave me at the ski lodge. "See you later." I said, turning on my heel as we both were our separate ways.

**--**

"Rose," I heard a voice call after me.

I spun around on my heel and seen Alberta calling out to me, Stan next to her. I walked over to them quickly and nodded. I had been on my way to my room. "Yeah?"

Through her hard-to-read features, I could see a slight smile forming. "Come with us. Remember that meeting I told you about earlier?"

I nodded. "Now?"

"Yes, it got pushed ahead. Headmistress is busy tomorrow."

I nodded, "Alright."

I guess this meeting was to determine my fate and I gulped as I followed them out of the dorm building and outside. I kept quiet the whole way there, to all of our surprise and finally, we got to a separate building I had only been in once before. - When I faltered in guarding Christian against Stan. I took a deep breath in upon entering and shut the door behind me.

All of my classroom teachers were there, as well as a few guardians I hadn't seen much of. Of course Kirova, Stan and Alberta were there, too. Stan went up, sitting at the long table in front of the one I was placed at and Alberta did the same after a few moments.

"Good luck, chose your words wisely." she whispered in my ear before taking her seat by Stan.

"Rosemarie," Kirova's voice echoed through the room. "good to see you again."

Mhm, and I was the queen of England. "You too, Headmistress." I said respectfully, although I knew she wished she could be anywhere but here right now. I also knew she'd probably rather have Stan and Alberta guarding Lissa then I. She, like Tatiana probably wanted to ship me off to some blood whore commune. I remembered her words when I was brought back to the academy like it happened yesterday.

"We're all here today to decide your fate. Of course, you are a guardian now. Although, _who _you guard and _where _you go is still undecided; Until now." she said as I seen Lissa enter, with Christian, from one of the side entrances. They stayed by the wall but as soon as I seen my best friend, I felt bad for getting upset with her back in the woods. I loved her and I knew I would go apologize when this was all over.

"Yes." I stated simply, although this discussion always put me on edge.

Then, I heard the door open behind me and turned to see Adrian walking in. I smiled softly, but as soon as he smiled back, I seen Tatiana walk in behind him, her features cold. My face fell and I put a hard, guardian-like expression on my face. I really hated her.

Adrian went over, standing by Lissa and Christian and I seen Tatiana take the one empty seat on the table in front, by Kirova. I should of known better then to think a decision like this could be made without her.

I sighed as a awkward silence surrounded me. I seen Tatiana whisper something in Kirova's ear and I looked down, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Kirova nodded to Tatiana when I looked back up and I bit my lip. "Rose," Tatiana said, looking at me, coldly. "I think all of us on the board have came to the conclusion that you will be a good guardian."

I was a little surprised at her words, but nodded nonetheless.

"Although, the question is, if you're good enough to guard Vasilissa."

I nodded and then looked over to Alberta who just kept her eyes down on something in front of her. I turned my attention back to Tatiana. "I'm aware of that."

She half-smiled at my words. "Well, subject wise, you've maintained a 'A' in every one besides Math and Science." She looked at something in front of her as well. "In those two, you've gotten yourself a consistent 'B'."

I swallowed and nodded. "Mhm." I tried to work on getting good grades, but I didn't think they mattered much opposed to the physical duties of being a guardian.

"And it seems that Guardian Belikov's last statement about how your extra training was going was very positive."

I looked down and nodded, swallowing hard. Tatiana must've noticed something change in my features when she mentioned Dimitri's name and she raised a brow.

"Something wrong, Ms. Hathaway?" she said, grinning slyly.

I shook my head. "No." I looked up, meeting her eyes, giving her a 'I'm up for anything' look.

"Well, we shall continue." she drew in a deep breath. "I'm aware Vasilissa wants to come to the palace when she graduates, for college. Is that right, Ms. Dragomir?" she asked, looking over at Lissa.

I looked over as well and Lissa gave her a polite smile. "Well, I haven't actually made up my mind yet, Queen Tatiana." she said softly.

She nodded. "Of course, dear. Take as much time as you'd like." she smiled genuienly at Lissa and then when her attention came back to me, the smile faded quickly.

"Rosemarie," she knew I hated being called that. "if you were chosen to be Lissa's official guardian, would you be willing to move to the palace with her?"

I nodded. I knew I should chose my words wisely. They didn't appreciate my sarcasum like Dimitri did. To them, it would probably be considered disrespect. "Of course."

I really, really hated the idea of moving to the Royal Court. Tatiana was a bitch, plain and simple and although I knew Adrian would move back there as well, I knew Tatiana still had to have something up her sleeve. Maybe she still held hope for her plan to get Adrian and Lissa together. Or maybe she just wanted to torture me in one way or another. Though, this was enough torture alone. Maybe I'd get lucky and Lissa would chose another college away from the old hag. Then again, luck was never that active in my life.

Tatiana nodded. "One last question before I tell you the verdict."

I nodded. "Yes?"

A smirk played on her lips and I realized by her expression, she figured something out that she knew she could use against me. "When Guardian Belikov was here with us," she said, spitefully. "Was there anything going on between the two of you?"

**--**

**Hope you like this chapter!**

**I got the cast video up, after, on my new youtube account.  
link:**

**h t t p : / / w w w . y o u t u b e . c o m / u s e r / D r a m a t i c F i e l d 1 0 0 **

**[[ without spaces ]]**

**Go comment/rate/subscribe !**

**Oh, and don't forget to review this chapter! ;)**


	14. Chapter fourteen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Rose****'****s point of view**

I had to keep my jaw from dropping as I inhaled deeply, trying to look as composed as I could. She was such a bitch. I didn't think it was possible to hate her more, but It definitely was.

"Aunt Tatiana," I heard Adrian speak up from the side. "I'm sorry for the disrespect but what gives you the _right _to ask her that?" his words were powerful and it sent a shiver down my spine.

Tatiana gave him a disapproving look that said, 'shut up.' "Or even better," she said, raising a brow. "What's going on with you and my great nephew?"

I swallowed, hard. "N-nothing, ma'am." I stammered. I really wanted to slap her right now; kill her; stake her, something.

Tatiana rolled her eyes. "Rosemarie, there is obviously something going on. My nephew doesn't stick up for non-royals without a reason to."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Adrian cut in. "This is a meeting for you to decide if she's got the _skill _to guard Lissa. Not an interrogation to pry into her personal life, Aunt. Stop."

I smiled inconspicuously at him and his eyes showed a faint smile of there own.

"Adrian," she warned.

"No Aunt, just make the decision so we can all leave." he said, cutting her off.

Tatiana sighed, but knew better then to start a fight. Especially in front of the other guardians and faculty. I knew however, I'd get it later, in one way, or another. "No, she's not fit to guard Vasilisa." She said, eyeing me, hard.

My jaw _did _drop then. "That's not-"

Alberta cut me off though and it was like I'd never said a word. "Can I have 3 good reasons why she is unable?" she said, eyeing Tatiana suspiciously.

Tatiana kept her cool to my surprise. "For one, she took Lissa from the Academy, putting her in danger."

"Hey, I've changed!" I said, outraged. Everyone ignored me.

"For two, I don't think your marks are high enough. And for three, I think you'd be more suited guarding someone like Jesse Zeloks."

I stood up then. "I am _not _guarding Jesse!"

"Are you refusing duty, Rosemarie?" she challenged.

I nodded. "You're certainly right."

She smirked, quirking a brow. "Well then, you're more then able to drop out and go out into the human world."

Headmistress Kirova sighed and put her hand up. "Enough!"

I looked to her and Alberta gave me a small nod, saying 'sit back down and shut up.' I did.

"I think Rosemarie's marks are stable and I also think that she's learned from her mistakes, Tatiana."

Tatiana nodded, "That may be so. But are you willing to take that chance?"

Kirova nodded. "I am, actually. I've got faith in her."

Alberta spoke up. "We lack female guardians. Talent like hers can't go to waste, Queen." she said gracefully. "She's a fighter. She's got that drive, that fire that will push her to protect Lissa no matter what."

I smiled softly. I was glad they thought that about me. Clearly, Tatiana still wasn't convinced. She'd never be. All because of my interest in Adrian, though, to be fair, he was interested in me as well. I wasn't just some cheap blood whore. I never would be.

Tatiana inhaled, deeply. "That is true."

"Exactly." Adrian spoke up before Tatiana could add the 'but.'

Her face was still hard, though, it didn't phase me. No way would I lose it in front of Tatiana, which she was trying to provoke. Bringing up Dimitri was lower then low and I think somewhere, deep down, she knew that. God, I missed him so much.

Stan jumped into the small argument, then. "With all respect, Queen, I think Rosemarie would be more then suitable to guard Vasilisa."

Kirova sighed, "Enough of this bickering. I think we should just take a vote. All in favour of Rosemarie guarding Vasilisa, raise their hands."

Surprisingly, the whole front table raised their hands... Except Tatiana. Yes, Tatiana had authority although, with the Headmistress and 2 best guardians on my side, she was definitely out numbered _and _out powered. She knew that and I could see the hatred toward me burning in her eyes. _Old hag._

"Looks like the decision is pretty much unanimous." said Kirova.

Tatiana took a deep breath in. "That it is."

"So, ready to make the decision?"

Tatiana nodded. "I hereby declare Rosemarie Hathaway to guard Vasilisa Dragomir." I'd never heard such a loathing tone and she almost glared at me as she spoke the words.

I smirked. She knew I won and it killed her.

"Meeting adjourned."

**--**

"Rose!" Adrian yelled after me as I left the building.

I smiled as I heard his voice and when I turned around, he was only a couple feet away from me. I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back. "Thanks for covering my ass in there." I murmured to him as he chuckled.

"What are friends for?" Yeah, friends, that's what we were... right?

"Still, you didn't have to," I said, shrugging, pulling back. "But you did."

He shrugged.

"She doesn't like me, you know." I said when we were alone outside.

He nodded, sighing. "I know. But, she never liked anyone I brought to the palace."

Before I got a chance to respond, Lissa ran up to me, throwing her arms around me. "I'm sorry, Rose!"

I sighed and hugged her back, tightly. "What do you mean?"

"For not healing him..." she murmured softly, tightening her grasp on me.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Liss." I said, pulling back, smirking and winking.

Lissa smiled. "Thanks, Rose."

"No problem. Can you believe I'm your official guardian!?" I said, hugging her again.

"I know! It's... wow! It's unbelievable!"

Then I see Christian exit the building to, and walk over to us. "So, Ms. Guardian Hathaway, how's it feel?" he had a foolish smirk playing on his lips and I laughed to myself.

"Amazing... Better then amazing." I responded as he chuckled.

I took a deep breath in and smiled, leaning against the brick wall a couple feet away from Adrian.

"Rose," Alberta called out to me as she left the building.

I smiled when I seen her and went over, giving her a hug, though I knew it was extremely un-guardian-like. "Thank you, Alberta. So, so much." I said as she laughed, hugging me back.

"Of course. You're one of us, now, Rose. You've got a huge responsibility."

I nodded. "I know."

She pulled back, putting her hands on my shoulders, looking me in the eye. "He would be proud of you, you know."

She didn't have to say his name for me to know who she was reffering to. I nodded and gulped. "I just always pictured this day with him here... smiling proudly and giving me a big congratulatory hug when I was told Lissa would be the Moroi I'd guard... me being able to thank him for the being the reason this all happened." I felt tears sting my eyes and she nodded.

"I know, Rose. But he's looking down on you now, and he's wishing he could do all of those things, too." I nodded and looked down to my feet as she dropped her hands from my shoulders. "I know it's hard... I miss him too. We all do. He was definitely something special. And the fact that you two shared such a loving bond is wonderful... magical."

I took a deep breath in and nodded. "Yeah."

She smiled and then my mom came out behind her. I hadn't seen her on the panel, or anywhere by the doors, so I was confused.

"Mom..." I said, surprised.

She smiled and came over, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you, Rose."

I smiled softly. "I didn't see you in there."

Janine sighed. "I was more behind the scenes. If Tatiana knew I was there, I don't know what she would of done."

I nodded as we pulled back. Things had be rocky the last time we seen each other, but I seen her lean in for a minute.

"Dimitri would be proud."

**--**

**A/N - well, I hope you like this chapter.**

**It didn't take me too long to write, but I got a new laptop, which really fooled me up. I had more then half written on our desktop, and I only switched the file over last night and finished it this afternoon.**

**If you review, you'll get a shout out in the next chapter!**

**The faster you review, the faster the next chapter will be out!**

**Review!  
**

**~DramaticField**


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Rose's point of view**

I frowned, but nodded, not able to come up with an intelligent response. "Thanks."

She wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Come with me, I think we need to talk."

I nodded and followed her over to a secluded part on campus. "Yeah?"

She turned to me and took my hands in hers. "I'm sorry about everything, sweetheart... I recall seeing you both together and it was so obvious that you were in love... But I was too blind to see it at the time. He loved you... A lot. I remember seeing his eyes glisten with love and hope and contentment when he'd look at you, and you'd beam up at him, no words needed to express your love. Just a simple gesture held it all..." she frowned. "I remember when it was that way with me and your father, though, times have changed, and so have you." she murmured, "You're going to be a great guardian."

I smiled and hugged her again. "Just like my mom."

She smiled and hugged me back. "I love you, Rose, I do. I'm sorry if I don't always show it."

I smiled and nodded. "I love you, too, mom."

**--**

**Adrian's point of view**

Enough was enough. I couldn't take anymore of my aunt being a bitch to the girls I dated; Especially Rose. She was the only girl I truly loved out of all the other woman I'd been with. I told them I loved them, yes, but the old me would say anything to get into a girls pants. I hated the old me and I was glad he was gone - for good. Rose changed me - for the better, and I hoped she was in my future, near, or distant. Either way, I wanted her to be mine someday.

I entered the building where the meeting was only moments ago and I closed the big double doors behind me when I seen my aunt still sat at the front table, looking like she was seriously considering something or other. That couldn't be good.

"Adrian," she said when she eyed me.

"Aunt Tatiana, we need to talk."

She nodded. "We do. Why are you standing up for Rose? She should just be shipped off to a blood whore commune as far as I'm concerned!"

I gritted my teeth. "She should _not_."

She rolled her eyes. "Adrian, don't tell me you're infatuated with this girl." she scowled.

I frowned. "I'm not infatuated with her, Aunt Tatiana. I-"

She cut me off. "Good, someone of your calibre deserves someone magnificent, wealthy and someone who everyone should envy to see on your arm someday. Not some cheap, low life dhampir girl."

"Shut up," I said, digging my nails into the palm of my hand. "Just shut _up_, Aunt Tatiana. I'm not infatuation with Rose, I _love _her."

She looked like someone just slapped her across the face. "_Love _her? Love her!? Adrian, you do _not _love her!"

"How can you tell me who I can love and who I can't? If you don't realize it, I can't _chose _who I love. I just know I love her, and I want to be with her."

She glared at me. "Do _not _talk to me like that."

" I _love _her. I don't care what you think anymore, Aunt Tatiana."

"She's not worthy of you, Adrian."

"The hell she's not."

She got up, pushing her chair out. "Being with her will ruin your life!"

"She makes me happy."

"What about Lissa?" she asked, angrily.

"What about her!? She's with Christian, besides, she's a friend, _only _a friend. I don't like her that way." I retorted.

"Adrian, please don't do this. You'll ruin the Ivashkov name."

I groaned. "No, I won't."

"Someone as high up as you, being with a lowly dhampir." she shook her head. "Yes, it will."

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't come here to argue. I thought I should let you know, and I did, so I'll show myself out." I said, turning on my heel.

"Adrian, _stop._" she ordered, though I didn't listen as I put one foot in front of the other, leaving the building.

**Rose's point of view**

As my mother and I hugged goodbye, there was on specific place I wanted to go to be alone for a little while to think. I turned on my heel, and with every step I took, the ground squished beneath my feet, sinking in slightly to the damp ground. The air was bone chilling but it didn't really bother me. I was more concerned at looking around, once more at those sickly familiar surroundings, the spacious enjoinment echoing with the slightest noise. Although, it was one of the few places I felt close to Dimitri without being by his side. Thinking about it made my heart clench.

I made it to the academy doors and pulled them open, the handles cold on my palms, though as soon as I stepped into the lobby, the heat rushed into me and I took a deep breath in, filling my lungs with warmth.

I walked down the crowded hallway, people staring as I did so. I wasn't a novice anymore, I was a guardian, now. And not just any guardian - Lissa's guardian. It meant I was a force to be reckoned with, that's for sure. People stared at me as I passed, my heart picking up pace as I got closer to my destination. I pushed through book bags and purses, hearing whispers every now and then.

Finally, I got there - to the gym. I entered casually like everything was fine, but when the doors shut behind me, leaving me at ease with the calming, but heart wrenching surroundings, alone, I felt instantly at home. This was the place my and Dimitiri's love first began. I sighed and walked over to the mat in the corner where I remember seeing Dimitri sit so many times before and even if this wasn't the first time I visited here since he had fallen, it still hurt.

I sat on the mat and leaned against the wall. I seriously needed to think... What was I going to do? I knew I couldn't stay here, pining over Dimitri... I knew I had to protect Lissa and make sure everything was going to be okay, keeping her calm and at ease at all times. Was there room in between watching Lissa to have a relationship? ... With Adrian, possibly?

I honestly didn't know. Lissa wouldn't bring Dimitri back, although I was getting closure with that, now, and Adrian liked me... Maybe even loved me. Lissa, of course, was my first priority, but maybe Adrian could have a place in my heart too. That kiss was... just amazing, honestly. I kind of wanted more of it, but I knew in my heart it wasn't right to lead him on if I wasn't interested in a relationship.

The one thing I did know was that I needed time to think and I certainly didn't want to jump into a relationship just yet... Maybe there was a way around everything, though. A simple solution? I don't think so, but whatever the case, I knew I didn't want to be alone. Now, or forever. That's why I got up, striding over to the door, exiting the gym, and going to the one person I knew I needed to talk to.

**--**

**A/N - I'd like to thank everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter, and as promised, shout outs are at the bottom of the authors note. Hopefully, I didn't forget anyone. If I did, leave it in your review, or PM me, letting me know.**

**I'm going to try to keep up with weekly posting. But I may not always follow through. High Schools rough and I've already got homework, meaning less time for me to write and update. Though, Vulnerable is very high on my list of priorities so my updating will hopefully be the same as it is now. Every week or two.**

**If you've got any ideas, questions, concerns, etc, PM me or leave it in your review and I promise to get back to you, IF it's a signed review. Or, you can leave your fan fictions username and I'll search you. **

**Don't forget, when you review, it makes me write that much faster! **

**Review!**

**Shout-outs:**

**Emily**

**Melanie**

**Annika Taylor**

**faint-of-hart**

**IDR**

**xxFallOutGirlxx**

**- DramaticField**

**- Becca**


	16. Chapter sixteen

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Vulnerable**

**Rose's point of view**

Honestly, as I entered my room, collapsing on my bed, my every intention was to enter Lissa's mind. But, for some reason, I second guessed myself. I hated to invade her privacy and I definitely didn't want another repeat of one of their episodes. I absentmindedly tossed my guardian pin from one hand to the other and contemplated what I would do.

I quickly came to the conclusion that I wouldn't. Besides, she needed her space and if she was in danger, I could sense it. Technically, if the whole academy was in danger, I could sense it.

I drew in a deep breath and I felt my heart squeeze when I took a good, long look at every detailing on the small pin. The pin I seen Dimitri wear so many times. I sighed and curled my fingers around it, in my palm as I got up off my bed.

I wanted to go see him... Though, I didn't picture my graduation like this; without him. I took a deep breath in and put on a pair of baggy, yet fitted sweatpants and a 'V' neck t-shirt that showed a little belly, but not too much as I left my room, locking the door behind me as I did so. I went down the long hall, down the stairs and out the front door of the academy as the cool air felt nice against my hot, clammy face.

I took a few deep breaths before letting the door go, it swinging back into the frame and clicking shut as I took a few steps forward, toward the gate. I kept telling myself the whole way there that this would be a good thing, however, I wasn't fooling myself as I neared the gates, seeing a unfamiliar face guarding it. I strode over to him and he looked at me, questioningly.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked in a deep, raspy voice.

I looked at him, not backing down. "Out those gates?" I answered his question with a question.

"Sorry, dhampir's aren't allowed off of school grounds." Then he turned away from me without another thought.

I put my hand out, my fingers wrapping around his cool wrist. "I'm not a dhampir."

He quickly pulled his arm out of my grasp and turned back to face me.

"I'm Rosemarie Hathaway." I clarified.

"And?" he asked, clearly bored.

"I graduated already; Only today, actually."

He chuckled. "Mhm,'

I sighed and took my guardian pin out of my pocket, flashing it in front of his eyes as he became serious once more. "Oh... I'm sorry guardian Hathaway, of course you can." he said, turning and unlocking the gates as I gave him a flirty smile before stepping around him, out into the open.

He shut the gate behind me, locking it once more as I took a few steps out so he wouldn't hear or see me any more.

I remember one night. It was dark. Really dark. The moon was clouded over with heavy, dark clouds that filled the air with a strange vulnerability. I remember the unusually warm air hitting my face, though. Something that didn't seem to go with the dark night. Although, it was supposed to rain, which made the weird events make sense.

I came around the side of the building, only to come face to face with Dimitri who was turning as well. I figured he could sense my presence because he managed to not bump into me.

"Roza," he said as I remember my palms sweating, my heart jumping as I looked into those big brown eyes. "what are you doing out here? Curfew was an hour ago."

I smirked. "And since when do I listen?"

He grinned and ran a hand through his dark hair that looked black in the dark night.

"I wanted to talk to you." I kept my voice low so any other guardians on duty wouldn't hear.

"I'm listening."

I took a deep breath in. "I need you to help me get out of therapy."

They had put my into therapy after Mason's death when I claimed to see ghosts. They thought the shock was just catching up to me and I needed to talk to someone about it. Showed what they knew.

He was silent for many , long moments before taking one of my hands in his. "Rose, I can't do that."

"You believe them, don't you?" I asked, my face falling.

"Not necessarily."

"Then why won't you help me?"

"It's not my call."

"You can do anything."

He sighed and looked around for a moment. Clearly, he didn't want to talk about it and I knew that for sure when he cupped my cheek in his hand and brought his lips to mine.

I sighed remembering that night. "Dimitri?" I called out in nothing more then a whisper. Mason could hear me no matter how I used to call to him. Though, he'd moved on, now and secretly, I wondered how long it would take Dimitri to.

I got a little curious when he didn't show right away. Maybe he didn't hear me? "Dimitri?" I called a little louder. "Please, come to me..."

Again, nothing.

I felt a lump appear in my throat and before I had the attention span to swallow, it was a snowball and I gulped. "Dimitri!?" I said, frantically.

Nothing...

I bit my lip... "Please... don't be gone... Dimitri... please." I had tears in my eyes, now as I felt my body grow cold.

Then, he materialized before my eyes and I sighed, relivedly. The thought of not being able to contact him scared me beyond words. When he came, he was smiling, though, it didn't reach his eyes. "Roza," he said softly.

"Dimitri..."

"I'm so proud of you, my love." he said as the smile brightened his eyes and I sighed contently.

"I miss you." I blurted, my palms sweating as I started into his beautiful brown eyes. Instinctively, I put my hand out to touch him, although, it went right through him.

He chuckled at my stupidity. "I've missed you as well."

I frowned. "Is there anyway for you to come back?" I asked.

He shook his head and the smile faded. "I'm afraid not, Rose... Actually, I've reached the end of my stay here on earth. I stayed to watch you graduate... but I need to go, now."

I felt tears well in my eyes. "You watched?"

He nodded. "Of course I did. You deserved it. I always knew you would be with Lissa in the end."

I blinked back the tears and took a shaky breath in. "Don't go..."

He frowned. "I have to. I wish I could stay here with you... I do."

I understood, though it hurt like hell. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Roza. You'll always be in my heart. Forever and Always, remember that." he paused. "And as much as I don't like that Ivashokv guy... if he makes you happy, I wish you the best with him."

I felt the tears cascading down my cheeks. "Dimitri..."

He shook his head. "You don't need to explain, Rose. I understand. You can't dwell in the past forever and I want you to move on. Have kids... have a family... love again."

As impossible as that seemed, I just nodded. "You mean that?"

"Of course I do. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it." he said, giving me a small smile.

I smiled back through the tears.

"His intentions are true and I know he wants the best for you." He was talking about Adrian again.

I nodded. "I'll always love you, though."

He smiled. "I'll always love you, too, Roza. But this isn't goodbye forever. When you pass on, I'll be waiting for you."

I felt my body shake with sobs. "Promise?"

"I promise." And with that, he disappeared before my eyes.

I bit my lip and sat on the cold ground, gulping as my body wracked with sobs and I put my head in my hands. He couldn't be gone...

--

I don't know how long I stayed there running memories through my mind, but when I got myself together, the sun was setting and the day was gone. I sighed and stood up, my head throbbing with a migraine from all the crying. By the time I got back to the gates, some other guardian was guarding them and he let me in without a single word.

I went to my dorm and went to the bathroom, wiping the bit of make up off my face and taking a tylnol for my headache as I stared at myself in the mirror. I wasn't who I used to be. I was changed and I shouldn't be acted like I never. I took the small shirt off and put on a green tank top with a blue Aeropostale sweater that Lissa had given me a while back. I sighed and bit my lip.

I wanted to go see Adrian, I concluded as I took my key off the table and left my room, locking the door afterwards.

I walked down the long hallway and got to his room in what seemed like only a minute or so.

I knocked. "Adrian?" my weak, fragile voice managed.

I heard some shuffling from the room and then, he opened the door. "Rose?" he asked, looking surprised to see me.

I guess seeing the faint pink colouring in my eyes tipped him off as he engulfed me into a hug there and then. "What's wrong?"

I gulped. "Can I come in?" The few people that were in the hall we staring.

He nodded, letting me go, moving aside so I could get in. "Of course."

I entered his room and for once, didn't get a smell of clover cigars or alcohol. I was proud of him for quitting. "What's wrong?" he asked after he shut the door and came to my side, putting a hand on the small of my back, gently pushing me over to the bed so I could sit down.

"I really don't want to talk about it..." I said, honeslty.

I just wanted to be here with him. It always calmed me.

"Are you sure? Do you want a drink or anything?"

I shook my head. "I'm sure, and no thanks, I'm fine."

He came over and sat by me, placing a hand on my knee. "You're not fine, I know that much."

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

He nodded. "I know... but if you do want to, I'm here."

I looked at him and nodded as I moved one of my hands over, resting on top of his.

Our eyes burned together for a few, long moments and then, he moved his hand so it was face up and mine fell into his. He closed his fingers over my hand and he moved in slowly. I found myself leaning in as well as our lips pressed together.

His lips were soft on mine and I felt a surge of safeness flood through me being here with him- like this. I moved my lips on his slowly and softly and he brought his other hand up, cupping my cheek as he put a little more pressure behind the kiss. There was a part of me, oblivious as to what I was doing, but another part, a stronger part, that knew exactly what I was getting myself into.

I grazed my tongue across his bottom lip and he smiled against my lips, opening his mouth, giving me the entrance I was looking for as our tongues tangled together.

I moved to the side, as did he so we were facing each other. I brought my free hand up, tangling it in his hair and he moved the one that was cupping my cheek down, wrapping it around my waist.

My lips grew more passionate on his and he returned the passion willingly as he pulled me closer, though as he did so, he pulled back. "Rose... I-"

I cut him off by placing a finger over his mouth. "Shh," I said softly, kissing him again. He didn't pull back again though, just pulled me so our bodies were pressed together.

After a few more long moments, he lowered me onto my back and he hovered over me, our lips still attatched. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and he placed his hands on my waist. I knew what was in his mind and honestly... I didn't know if I minded it. He loved me, I knew that... and although I loved Dimitri... he was right. I needed to move on and well, Adrian was a good guy... and maybe something could amount out of it. I kissed him eagerly and he hesitated before moving his hands to my pants, leaving them there for a moment, almost like asking for permission.

I just nodded, keeping my lips on his as he slowly slid them down and I moved my hands down his back, pulling his shirt up and off. He kicked my pants off the bed and I threw his shirt onto the floor. I moaned against his lips and he groaned as he kicked his pants off. I knew he did this before. A lot before. I had hardly any experience and I was nervous. Really nervous. I felt my heart start to speed up even more, it pounding in my chest as my fingertips started to shake a little.

"Rose..." he pulled back. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." I said, meeting his eyes as he stared into mine before nodding. I guess he seen that I was ready from looking at my eyes. I was just nervous.

He brought his lips back to mine passionately and lovingly as he took off my sweater, then brought his hands to the bottom of my shirt, lifting it up and over my head.

"Wait," he murmured, breaking away quickly.

I nodded, struggling to regain my breath as he reached over to the nightstand, taking out a small white package with black writing all over it. He opened it while kissing me gently once more and slid a clear, latex condom out.

I swallowed, hard as my heart felt just about ready to explode. Just like it had with Dimitri the night before the attack.

He slipped it on inside his boxers before I reached down and slid them off. He smiled against my lips and kissing me tenderly before undoing my bra and sliding the straps off my shoulders. He waited a few minutes before taking it off my arms and throwing it to the floor. I took his bottom lip into my mouth and sucked on it bravely as he reached down, sliding my panties off and moaning faintly before pulling the blanket up over us.

"Tell me if it hurts, okay?" he said softly.

I nodded, my cheeks turning a bright scarlet colour as they heated up.

He smiled and trailed his index finger over my cheeks. "You're so beautiful, Rose."

I smiled, "I love you." And as I said it, I knew I meant it. I had room in my heart for two.

He smiled and his eyes beamed into mine. "I love you, too."

He brought his lips to mine and kissed me lovingly as he lined himself up to enter me. I kissed him back again and prepared myself as I felt him touch my entrance before entering me, slowly.

I swallowed, hard as a small flare of pain lit up inside me, but faded when he went in more and I felt the overwhelming passion take it's course.

**--**

**Author's Note-**

**Okay, I know some of you are going to hate me for this, others are going to love it.  
**

**Dimitri lovers,**

**just remember, she still loves him, and although things are heating up between her and Adrian, doesn't mean that Dimitri isn't going to be in the story anymore. I've got something up my sleeve involving Dimitri, don't worry. ;]**

**Adrian lovers, **

**with that said, with what I have planned doesn't mean that Adrian and Rose will dissolve.**

**Keep reading to find out what'll happen next and remember - Reviews make me write faster. so -**

**Review ! (:**

**~ DramaticField**

**~ Becca **


	17. Chapter seventeen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Seventeen**

I awoke the next morning feel the sun on my forehead, sending tingles through out my body. I yawned and stretched before opening my eyes, looking over to see... nothing. Adrian wasn't by my side and my brow furrowed as I sat up, pulling the blankets up. I was in my bra and panties, though, I couldn't remember putting them on after the long night, before I fell asleep. I scanned the room, but he was nowhere to be seen.

The bathroom door was wide open, and I could see he wasn't in there, either. I grabbed my clothes, shaking my head as I put them on quickly and angrily. I wasn't different then any of the other girls who woke up without them by their side. I felt... used. Betrayed.

As soon as I got dressed, I stood up and grabbed my phone, running my fingers through my messy sex hair as I went over to the door, opening it a crack, seeing the hallway empty as I slid out the door carefully. I walked down the hall quickly, texting Lissa.

'Hey Liss,

when you get this, call me.'

I snapped my phone shut and went out the door of the visitation building where Adrian stayed for not being a student. I stepped into the warm morning air and seen many people scurrying around campus. I took a deep breath in. It felt like everyone eyes were on me, but I knew they weren't. I felt weak, and vulnerable. It was like you just got your period. You think everyone can tell, but you knew that they couldn't unless you told them. It seemed as though everyone knew I just had sex with one of the most desired men on campus, but I knew none of them did. Unless of course Adrian 'accidentally' let it out, which honestly, as upset with him as I was, it didn't seem like he would do that.

I quickly got to my dorm building and slipped in, giving the lady at the front desk a small smile before going to the stairs, trying to avoid the small space filled with people that was the elevator, and ran up them quickly. I got to my room in only a few moments and as soon as I did, I unlocked my door and stepped in, closing it behind me. I was more furious then upset, now and I tried to put all that energy into getting ready to go down to the gym to vent with a punching bag.

I put a pair of black sweatpants with a red band, on and a white, form fitting T-shirt as I shoved my cell phone into my bra for safe keeping after putting it on silence. I sighed, leaving my room and making my way down to the gym quickly.

When I got down there, I smiled seeing it empty once again. Most of the dhampir's had classes together, mostly in the afternoon, leaving the morning free for classes. Though, classes hadn't exactly started up just yet. Everything was slowly coming back together with the academy once more, but I wasn't complaining. I got the gym to myself.

I went into the equipment room and looked around, though, before I picked something out to use, I heard the gym door open and close, heavy footsteps on the floor as I turned, leaning in the door frame of the room, seeing a tall girl with her bleach blonde hair up in a ponytail that reached the middle of her back. She had those big, sea blue eyes that you only seen on the sunniest of days on the beach, and her complexion was pale and... dull. She had on a bright pink tank top and a grey and black striped slub wrap that was done up in the middle of her torso and short shorts on. I raised a brow.

"Excuse me?" I asked, "Who are you?"

She turned to me, jumping a little at the sound of my voice. "Dalliah," she said in a deep, raspy voice. I could tell by the way she looked at me that she thought she was all that and a bag of chips. Though, by the look of it, she didn't eat much junk food. Or much of anything. She was a stick, and not even the moroi kind of skinny just... skinny. I could tell she was new and I could also tell she was a dhampir, a guardian to be exact. "And you are?" she asked, giving me a bored look.

"Rose Hathaway," I clarified, turning my back to rummage around in the equipment room once more.

"Oh, so _you're_ the infamous Rosemarie Hathaway? Hard case, but shaped up after you were dragged back to the academy. Killed so many strigoi's without even having a promise mark and being in one of the biggest battles I've heard of." she said, smirking. It sounded like a short biography. Someone had been paying attention.

I turned back to face her and just nodded. "Mhm,"

She looked amused. "I'm going to be your new teacher."

I had to keep my jaw from dropping as everything turned. "I'm graduated... I don't need a teacher." And this blond bombshell wasn't going to be able to teach me anything I didn't already know. She wouldn't be able to teach me period.

"Alberta says she'd like you to learn a few more things in about 10 more classes, then you're done." she said, shrugging.

There was no way in hell I'd be taught by this plastic barbie whose only problem seemed to be trying to get by instructing without breaking a nail. "I appreciate the offer, but no thanks."

She rolled her eyes. "You don't have a choice, Rose."

"Don't call me that." I said, crossing my arms.

"You really are a hard case aren't you?" she asked, sighing.

I nodded, "Only to people I don't like." I said, giving her a small smile before going back into the room.

"This is my gym," she said in an angry tone. "out, now."

I laughed. "Actually, it's all the guardian's gym, but mostly Dimi-" I stopped, sighing. "But mostly the guardians." I corrected myself. "Besides, Alberta told me she would be my trainer." I remembered.

"Well, with all of the craziness going on right now around the academy, she hired me to teach you and a few other students for her. I'm one of the best."

I scoffed. Dimitri was the best and he never mentioned her. She couldn't be that good. "Prove it."

"I don't have to prove myself to you, Rosemarie."

"Don't call me that, either." I said, letting my arms fall to my side, putting them on my hips. "You know, whatever. I'm out of here."

She sighed. "Rose, stop this. I know you're just rebelling because I'm not your old teacher. I know since I'm knew, you think you can control me. But you can't."

"Watch me," I said, striding across the gym floor to the exit. Guess I couldn't come here for peace anymore.

She followed me, grabbing my arm. "Come on, I'm going to teach you a lesson."

"On?" I asked, raising a brow.

"Respect."

Was she serious? "Sorry, but I don't play your games, find yourself a novice who'll wait on you hand and foot for your short stay at St. Vlad's academy."

"Short?" she asked confused as I snatched my arm back.

"You really think you'll be taken seriously? Good luck with that, barbie."

She opened her mouth to say something, but my phone rang and I put a hand up to silence her. She acted offended and I ignored her blabbing on as I answered it. "Hello?" Maybe my tone wasn't the nicest.

"Rose! What's wrong?" Lissa cried from the other end.

I sighed. "I'm coming up, okay? I want to talk."

I could feel the relief in her voice that she was glad I wanted to talk about it, for once. "Okay, see you soon."

I nodded and closed my phone, putting it back in my bra, turning back to her. "You were saying?" I asked, grinning.

She gave me a masochistic grin. "Oh, don't let me waste your time, Rose."

I smiled. "Glad we understand each other." I said as I left the gym.

She probably thought I was going to come back with another insult out of the many materializing in my head, but no, I was going to be the bigger person and walk away.

I got to Lissa's dorm in only a few minutes, my rage making my feet step hard and quickly on the ground beneath me as I lifted a heavy hand and clenched it even more, making my fist tighter, my knuckles turning white as I knocked on her door.

"Rose," Lissa said, opening it as she smiled. "Come in." she moved aside so I could enter and I did so as she shut the door. "What's up?" she asked, bouncing over and sitting on her bed as I sat on the chair. I could tell her medication was still working, and I was glad.

"Adrian," I said quickly, before adding in, "And the stupid little bitch down in the gym who thinks she can tell me what to do."

Lissa sighed, but decided to address the first issue, first. I knew she wanted to procrastinate the second one. She would think it was just me and my non-sociable attitude. Then again, it sort of was, but I wasn't having some bitch come in and tell me what to do with myself. "Rose," she said softly. "What happened with you and Adrian?"

I took a big breath in and told her the whole story on Dimitri and what had happened. She listened intently, nodding when appropriate and placing her hand upon mine, frowning at other times. "Rose..." she said when I paused at the end of the whole Dimitri story.

"That's not exactly the worst part." I said, sighing. The two events kind of tied.

She inhaled deeply. "Go on." she coaxed.

"When I decided to finally pull myself together, I went to Adrian."

She nodded, though I felt a little sadness shine through the bond that I didn't go to her. "And?"

"Well, it was late." I said, trying to address her unspoken concern. "I thought you would be with Christian... And well, one thing led to another when we were in his room and well..." I gulped. "We had sex, Lissa."

She smiled softly, but through the bond I sensed confusion. "Do you like him?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

I sighed. "That's the thing. Last night, I thought I loved him, not exactly full fledged in love, but I loved him on that level, nonetheless... I told him I did, and I meant it. But then, I woke up this morning in his room, in his bed, and he wasn't anywhere to be seen. I felt like one of the girls he had sex with, then left, just hoping he wouldn't end up with a life long consequence of sleeping with her."

Lissa frowned, "Rose, that's not true and you know it. He loves you."

"Then try explaining why he wasn't there this morning?" I said, meeting her eyes for the first time the whole talk.

She bit her lip. "I... I don't know, but I'm sure he had a logical reason."

"Yeah, he ran off with the stupid blond downstairs." I said, rolling my eyes.

"He wouldn't do that, Rose. Go to his room, and see if hes there. I'm sure if you ask for an explanation, a logical one will appear."

It sounded all fine and dandy, but I wasn't too sure. "Liss,"

But she spoke again. "Just do it, Rose. I know Adrian's changed. I train with him, remember? He's a changed man, and I know he loves you. I can feel it."

I nodded, wanting so desperately to believe her as I sighed and nodded. "Fine."

"Go now." she said, smiling encouragingly. "Well, after you tell me about the bitch."

I shook my head, "That's a story for another time. When I get it sorted out. Though, I will tell you, promise." I said, hugging her as she nodded and smiled.

She smiled, "Love you, Rose."

"Love you too, Liss." I said softly as I smiled at her before leaving, my head held high.

She had to be right, right? I hoped so. I wanted everything to be cleared up... I took a deep breath in and only after a few moments it seemed, I was at Adrian's room. I gulped, my hand shaking as my heart bet fast and hard in my chest. I was more then a little nervous. For god sakes, Adrian and I shared the intense passion that few people did.

I knocked on the door as my knuckles turned even whiter then my already pale skin. After no answer for a few, long moments, I sighed. "Adrian?" I called. "Adrian, I want to talk..."

Then, I felt someone grab my shoulder and I jumped a little. It wasn't like me to not hear someone coming. Though, in the current state I was in now and had been since the attack, it wasn't uncommon in the last month. I was definitely more on edge since the attack. Who hadn't been? I bit my lip and closed my eyes, waiting for the person to say something.

"Rose," Adrian's voice swam through the air as he walked around me so our bodies were facing each other. "I'm so sorry..."

**--**

**Author's Note -**

**So all I can say is, what do you think?  
I know some of you will have mixed feelings on Adrian not being there when she woke up and I'd love to hear your thoughts.**

**Put them in your review, or PM me. Either works. **

**Honestly, I first wrote this chapter with her waking up in Adrian's arms, and one of my close friends who read the beginning of this verison, asked me why I decided against it.  
The answer is simple.  
Drama.**

**Suspense.**

**and **

**It was too cliché and expected.**

**  
Whoever Reviews/PM's me, will also get a shout out in the next chapter.**

**Review !**

**~ Dramatic Field !**

**~ Becca !**


	18. Chapter eighteen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Rose's point of view**

When I seen him, I didn't know what to say and forgot what I _wanted _to say. But then, I reminded myself that I was stronger then this.

"Explain," I stated as his frown intensified.

"Rose," he took a step toward me, bringing his right hand up and cupping my cheek. "I just had to... step out."

I shook my head and took a step back, my back hitting against the door - his door, behind me. "You left me this morning after having sex because you needed to 'step out'?" I asked, angrily.

He sighed and dropped his hand lifelessly at his side. "Rose, it's not like that."

"No, I get it. I'm just another one of your little flings. Happy now, Ivashkov? You got me in bed after wanting to ever since we met."

"Rose," he said firmly killing my rant. "It's not like that at _all_." he sighed, "Really, it's not. I love you. I meant what I said last night." He said, pleadingly.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah and I'm Paris Hilton."

He wrapped his hand around my wrist and to avoid a scene, dragged me into his room, shutting the door behind us. "Rose, I'm _sorry_."

I frowned, "Me too."

"It's not like what you think."

"Then why don't you elaborate a little more?"

He frowned, brushing his fingers over my cheekbone. "I can't, love."

"The hell you can't."

"Rose, it's irrelevant. Just know I didn't willing leave. I didn't _want _to leave, but I had to. I didn't want to wake you. You looked so... peaceful and I knew you hasn't been sleeping well lately."

I sighed, I knew he was telling the truth. "Why'd you leave then?"

"It's irrelevant."

"Then just tell me!"

"I can't, Rose." he said, aggravated.

I frowned, "Well I guess we're done here." Though as I tried to move around him to leave, he blocked my path.

"No, we're not." he said, a serious look on his face which in my opinion, didn't suit him at all. He sighed, "Fine, I'll tell you."

I looked at him, nodding. "Alright."

He took my hand and brought me over to sit with him on the bed that we had made love in only hours before. My stomach clenched and he placed a hand on my knee, turning to face me. "Alberta needed to talk to me."

"Why?" I asked, quirking a brow.

He sighed, "She said it was an emergency, but when I went down, she just wanted to ask me a few things about when I left the palace."

I wasn't too sure if he was telling the truth or not. I nodded, biting my lip. "So when exactly were you planning on telling me?" I knew that didn't really make sense, but it didn't matter to me at that point.

"When I got back, I figured since you've been sleepless the last little while, you'd still be asleep. I didn't know you would wake up when I was gone. If I did, I would of never left, Rose, believe me."

I crossed my arms over my chest. At least that part sounded truthful. "Promise?"

"I promise." He breathed.

I nodded and took a deep breath in, "Well I have to go..."

"If you have to."

"Yeah, I'll talk to you sometime later." I said boldly.

He nodded, "Alright."

And with that, I turned on my heel and exited the room.

**--**

"Sometimes he seemed to be telling the truth, others... I wasn't too sure." I said as I plopped down beside Lissa on her bed. Usually, I wouldn't give any thought to where I would go. I would go to my room and wallow in self pity until something came up to make me do other. But, my and Lissa's relationship had grown since the attack and I knew she was more happy if I came to her and I was more happy to get what was wrong off my chest. Like Lissa said, Friendship is a two way street and she was right.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" she asked, placing a hand on my knee.

I shook my head.

"You sure? I mean, this just seems like a miscommunication."

"It's not." I said flatly. "Trust me, he seemed... secretive. There's something he's not telling me and I don't know why."

Lissa nodded and as much as she didn't want to believe it, I could tell she did.

I sighed, "Anyways, how are you and Christian?"

She smiled angelically. "Just fine," she shrugged. "like usual."

I smiled, at least one of us was having a good, easy love life and I was glad it was Lissa. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest and nodded. "That's good."

She nodded, "Yep."

"Liss, is there anytime when you wonder what your life would of been like if you hadn't met him?" I asked her, curiously, taking in all of her features as I looked at her - truly looked at her.

Her blond hair glistened in the little sun streaming through the half-open blinds and her perfectly rounded face had freckles in all the right places, making her green eyes stand out more against the contrast of her perfectly beige skin. Her eye lashes were long without mascara, making them extra long today that she had it on, and her hair fell around her face in a cutesy way, giving her the child-like look that I knew Christian loved. That was so deceiving at times. Her eye brows were thin and just noticeable with the pretty cream blond color of her hair.

I remember being a little girl, with Lissa and her family and everyone saying what a beautiful daughter they had. I would linger in the background, not really sure how I fit in here. That is until I was told my 'soul purpose.' To protect Lissa. Then, when her parents and brother died, I knew I was to achieve that at any possible cause. _They come first_, right? Maybe not now, but there was no questioning it when you were told that when you were just over 7 years old.

"Yeah," Lissa's voice broke the temporary silence and my chain of thought. "I wonder what would happen all the time... I don't like to, but it makes me think of how lucky I am to have him."

I nodded, "And what do you think life would be like without him?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged, "Sometimes I think that everything would fall apart, others, I know everything would be okay because I have you." her eyes met mine and she smiled.

I smiled back and nodded, "Do you think Adrian and I could have a future?" I asked after a few long moments of silence.

Lissa looked up, trying to catch my eyes, but I stared down at my fingers. "Yes," she said after a minute or so. "I think Adrian's really a good guy. He covers it up with jokes and sometimes inappropriate remarks because I think he was hurt before when he put himself out there to someone, honestly. He reminds me a lot of you, actually."

"Like me? I don't see how you figure that."

Lissa laughed softly. "Rose, seriously?"

I nodded, "Seriously,"

She sighed, "You're both insanely sarcastic, hide your true emotions, play hard to get and by the looks of it, you both were hurt and have a hard time trusting people."

She was right.

"I think you would be hella good together... Understanding of each other." she commented happily. "Two peas in a pod, right?"

I laughed softly at the old expression. "Right."

Lissa smiled, "Don't give up, Rose. Maybe there's just something going on."

"If there was something going on, I think he should tell me. I gave him everything I could and I think I deserve honesty." I said, frowning.

Lissa nodded and rubbed my knee soothingly. "I know, Rose but I'm sure he has a good reason."

I sighed, "He better."

**--**

**Author's Note - **

**Hope you like the chapter !  
It took me a little longer to update due to the fact that the last week I've been home sick and I haven't wanted to do anything, but it's here!**

**I'm going to start adding a little something Dimitri-wise to complicate things more in the next chapter or two, so Dimitri fans, stay tuned!**

**Adrian fans, keep reading to see whats going on. ;]**

**Shoutouts:**

**AceSchmuck92**

**khaase**

**faint-of-hart**

**Alyssa Belikov**

**xxFallOutGirlxx**

**sexybitch007**

**nadine belikov**

**yrunvs**

**Olena**

**KenziCullen**

**little jay**

**puppylove216**

thanks so much guys !

**~ DramaticField**

**~Becca**


	19. Chapter nineteen

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**  
Rose's Point of View**

I slipped into a pair of blue and white polka dotted pyjama pants and shoved on a orange tank-top over my head as I sat down on my bed, pulling the string on the lamp on my bedside table so the dim light that was previously glowing warmly seized. I lid down, closing my eyes as I pulled the comforter up and prompted myself to fall asleep.

After what seemed like an hour, I open my tightly shut eyes and looked at the clock, it read: 3:14am. I knew I should of been asleep a while ago, but after my talk with Adrian and then Lissa, I just wanted to be alone for a little while, so I had went for a small walk around campus to take my mind off things and calm down. The cool night air had sent a calm, serene feeling through me and although it still lingered, there was nothing like your mind racing when you were trying to fall asleep to keep you awake.

I closed my eyes again and sighed as I slowly but efficiently felt myself fall into a numb slumber, but shortly after that, the dreams, or rather nightmares, started. I was swimming, the salty ocean water bitter as it splashed into my mouth. Adrian was at one end of the small stretch of ocean water, Dimitri on the other. I was torn between two men, both of which, I loved. Adrian was sitting on the dirt, whereas Dimitri was stood up, his broad shoulders giving him a dangerous look as he tasselled his brown hair with his hand. Adrian was looking at me with pleading eyes and I kept going around in a circle as I wracked my brain to chose which one I would be with.

Before I made up my mind though, I felt the water stir rapidly and a huge wave appeared out of nowhere, crashing over Dimitri, taking him out to sea, then evaporating. A tight feeling materialized in my chest and a lump the size of a snowball arose in my throat. He was stripped from me once again and I turned, seeing Adrian in a daze, much like I.

I couldn't speak, couldn't move, couldn't cry, couldn't scream. I stayed afloat there, in pure shock as my mind frantically tried to grasp what had just happened. Then, another wave came and before I could do anything about it, took Adrian just like it had Dimitri. I was alone and a stronger, more intense pain came when Adrian left, making the tears in my eyes spill over. I realized losing Dimitri once was too much to bare, but when it came down to losing him twice, it didn't hurt as much as it did losing Adrian. Maybe it was because I had closure over Dimitri's demise, maybe it was because the feelings I had toward Adrian were stronger then the ones toward Dimitri. Then, before the nightmare that seemed all too real went further, bringing more despair and hurt, I seen light break through the rough, dark sky.

That all too familiar meadow scene appeared in front of me, but instead of sunshine and flowers, the ground was covered with a nice calming white cover of snow and the trees were covered with ice giving it a shiny, cold look with the dark, grey sky.

Adrian's voice came from behind me then, breaking the silence. "What's wrong little dhampir?"

I turned, seeing him dressed in black pants and a light blue shirt. I hoped up from my seat on a log and hugged him tightly. "Adrian..."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly and held me close as I buried my face into his shoulder. "Nightmare,"

He nodded, caressing my hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I hesitated, "It was like losing Dimitri all over again, though instead of just losing him, I lost the both of you."

He pulled back, looking into my eyes, a brow quirked. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed, letting my eyes stayed locked with his and although there was 'snow' on the ground, the wind was warm as a gust came, hitting my face. "I was in the water; the ocean. You were on one side of this narrow part, and Dimitri was on the other. I was forced to pick and I stayed there, not knowing who to pick, just staying afloat. Before I decided, Dimitri got swept away and as terrible as it made me feel, when I turned to swim to you, you did too, and it felt even worse. It was horrible." By this time, I lost eye contact and the lump formally in my throat was coming back swiftly.

Adrian pulled me into his arms again, one of his hands on the back of my head, holding it close to his shoulder. "I'll never leave you alone, Rose, I promise."

I pulled back to look at him once again. "Don't promise me that."

"It's true,"

"No, it's not. Dimitri promised me the same thing, Adrian. He couldn't keep it and I don't want you feeding me a promise that you don't know that you can keep a hundred and ten percent." I said strongly.

He sighed and instead of saying anything, he just nodded, kissing my lips to emphasize that he would be here until fate chose otherwise. - If there was such thing.

I kissed him back in the dream and snow started falling softly. I wished reality could be so perfect; so flawless. Our lips moved together lovingly and softly for a few moments, savouring the short moment of love and passion and then I pulled back and he rested his forehead on mine, his tilted down a little so his forehead was to the height of mine and I giggled. "I love you,"

"I love you, too, Rose." he murmured. "Though, you need some sleep."

I nodded, "I guess that means your leaving?"

He smirked. "I'm only leaving the dream. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

I nodded, "You better be." I winked and he chuckled before nodding and then, leaving the dream completely.

I stayed in a dreamless, numb sleep for the rest of my slumber when he departed and woke up more rested then I had been in a while. I rubbed my sleepy eyes and opened them as I sat up and stretched. I knew when Adrian meant he would be here, he didn't mean here as in exactly in this room. I liked waking up alone sometimes. It was easier when you knew you didn't have anything exciting to wake up to, to get to sleep.

I swung my legs over the bedside and took a deep breath in before getting up and going into the bathroom, getting ready for the day.

_**--**_

"Rose?" Lissa's frantic voice came from the other end of the line.

"What is it?" I asked, knowing that instantly, something was wrong.

"I need you... I need you're help."

"About?"

"Meet me by the old fountain behind the school, okay?" she asked, softly.

I nodded, "Alright, I'll see you there in about 5."

Then the line went dead and I quickly hurried from my place wandering the hallways, out the door and behind the school as fast as my legs could take me in a walking fashion. She was already there when I got there and I seen the tears glazing her eyes.

"Rose..." she paused, looking down. "I-I think I'm pregnant." she sputtered.

My jaw almost dropped. "W-What!?" I asked, half excited, half terrified. "Does Christian know?"

She shook her head and sighed angrily, though the anger seemed directed toward herself. "No... I don't know how to tell him."

"Are you positive?" I asked, "No pun intended..."

She nodded and rolled her eyes at my teasing. "I went to the nurse after I took 2 tests, which were both positive."

I gulped, "Liss, you have to tell him."

"How!?" she cried, sitting down on the fountain, putting her head in her hands.

I bit my lip. "God, I don't know..."

I had never been in this sort of situation before myself, or with anyone else I cared about. Then again, I only slept with Dimitri and Adrian and with Dimitri, he couldn't impregnate me, anyways.

"Rose, help... please." she pleaded, looking to to me, her luminescent green eyes looking up at me, scared.

"Do you want me to go with you when you tell him?"

She sighed, "I don't know... I really don't. I'm scared, Rose."

I realized that through-out her whole life, this was the only time I couldn't protect her from the unknown and the feared.

"I wish I could help, Liss." I said, sitting down next to her, placing a hand on her knee. "I don't know what to say or do... It _is _scary and I can't make that scared feeling dissapear as much as I want to, but I know that if anything, Christian will be there for you to love you and your child."

She nodded and her small frame started to shake. I pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's okay, Liss. I promise you, Christian, Adrian and I are here for you."

"You can't tell Adrian," she said quickly. "please don't."

I nodded, "Okay, I won't tell Adrian, I promise. But when you're ready for him to know, I'm sure he'll support whatever you decide to do." I murmured.

She nodded and many, long moments went by without a word.

**--**

After Lissa told me she was going to go for a walk alone, to clear her head and think of a good way to tell Christian, I went back to my room, although, waiting outside my door for me was my favourite person of all time, Dalliah was standing outside, leaning against the wall. "Hello Rosemarie," she said, all too calmly.

I sighed, "Rose," I corrected her. "and what are you doing here?"

"Just figured I'd invite you down to the gym to train because we both know that you refuse to take orders." she said, smiling sweetly, trying to get on my nerves. I wouldn't let her know that she was successful.

"Actually, I've got a lot on my mind, I'll pass."

"You know," she said, continuning to block the entrance to my room. "having a lot on your mind is good while training. It can help you do better and put in a larger effort because it's getting your emotions out."

"Or, it can just fool you up because you can't think straight."

"Okay, I'm done playing your game, either come and train now, or else."

"Or else what?" I challenged.

"I have power around here, you know."

I rolled my eyes and pushed past her. "Leave," I said, unlocking my door and entering my room, locking it behind me.

I heard her sigh angrily then walk away with heavy footsteps. I sighed and closed my eyes, the darkness in my room surrounding me as I turned around, flipping the light on. When I seen something move, my heart stopped and I jumped a little before Adrian came out of the bathroom. "Hello Rose," He said softly, a bottle of wine on the end table, along with a few unlit candles. "I figured I could make everything that happened in the last few nights up to you."

I smiled and blinked slowly, nodded. "I'd like that," I said, crumbling at the intensity of his smile.

"I rented Titanic," he said, grinning. "I figured we could stay in here, watch it and just be together and try us again."

I nodded, "That sounds amazing." I murmured, going over to him and hugging him tightly.

He chuckled and hugged me back. "Who was outside?"

"Dalliah," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Who?"

"This new girl who thinks she's going to train me."

"What do you mean, thinks?"

"Alberta hired her to train me, but all she's done so far is piss me off and give me reason to not like her."

Adrian sighed, "I'm sure you haven't given her the easiest time either, Rose." he said, runnning a finger down my cheek.

I frowned, "She's not taking over Dimitri's job, she's just... not."

"She has to, Rose, it's her job now."

I sighed, "Are you on my side or hers?"

"Yours, of course. Although, you should try and negotiate with her a little, - meet her halfway."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course you think that."

He chuckled, "I don't want you getting in trouble."

I nodded. "And I don't want her teaching me, but I guess I have no choice in the matter."

Then I heard another knock on the door and went over, opening it, expecting to see Dalliah there once more. I was shocked to see someone else though... Dimitri.

**--**

**Authors Note -**

**So, I'm hoping Rose/Adrian and Rose/Dimitri fans are both equally satisfied with this chapter. I know it's taken me forever to update and I'm sorry. Things have still been hectic lately and this is my number one priority in my free time. **

**BUT,  
Thanks soo much for baring with me through out the duration of the time it takes me to update. **

**Any Questions/Concerns/Ideas/ etc, just message me, or leave them in your review because I just know that when you're done reading this, you'll hit the little review button. ;]**

**~ DramaticField**

**~Becca**


	20. Chapter twenty

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter 20**

**Rose's point of view**

I shook my head, attempting to clear it.

"Rose," I was seeing things as I re-opened my eyes and seen Alberta stood there. Not Dimitri. "I need to speak with you."

I inhaled deeply and nodded, slipping out into the hall, shutting the door behind me. "Yeah?" I asked.

"Dalliah requested I come talk to you about-"

But I cut her off. "Figured," I muttered. "she thinks she's the boss of me, now."

Alberta sighed, "Rose, she's your trainer. She _is _the boss of you."

"Yeah, inside the gym, not out." I argued.

She frowned, giving me a disapproving look. "You still need to show her respect."

"She needs to show me some then."

"Rosemarie Hathaway," I heard my mothers voice come from around the corner as she emerged. "I don't care if you are a guardian now or not, you don't talk to Alberta, or anyone else like that. You are not in charge of this academy and I will see you in the gym tomorrow."

Instead of arguing, despite my great desire to, I bit my bottom lip, considering her words. "Wait-" I said, "does this mean _you're _going to train me?" I asked my mom.

She shook he head and my hopes diminished. "I'm going to watch your training session."

"Why can't you train me? Like you said you would?" I asked, turning to face Alberta once more.

"Because, Rose. I've got a lot going on with the academy. I have to keep everything together and I can't take time out to train."

I sighed, "Fine, whatever."

"Rosemarie," my mom said sternly. "Respect."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and nodded. "When's my next training session?" I asked, running a hand through my hair, aggravated.

"Tomorrow after lunch, around 1." Alberta said, my mom nodding.

"Alright," I said, letting my hand drop. "Can I go back in, now?"

"Yes, but make sure to get lots of sleep and be rested before practise." My mom reminded me as I nodded.

"I will," Although, I wasn't making any promises.

They nodded and I sighed, turning and going back into my bedroom. I locked the door behind me and Adrian came over, wrapping his arms around my waist. "What was that about?" he asked, resting our foreheads together.

I sighed. "Training,"

He nodded, "When?"

"Tomorrow afternoon,"

"Then maybe I should go..."

"No, stay." I said reluctantly, not wanting him to leave.

He chuckled and nodded. "Alright."

I smiled. "Want to watch the movie?"

Adrian chuckled, "I'd love that." he murmured.

I knew fully well what I was doing. I wanted to try to move on, although Dimitri's departure took a piece of my heart. I felt Adrian give me some of it back when he came into my life, taking the lead role of the man and showing me respect and love. I wondered if I could ever be in love with him. If I could... would it beat the amount of love I had for Dimitri? I didn't want to think about that right now and I just smiled softly and took his hand, leading him to the bed.

I threw a blanket on the bed and put the DVD in the DVD player, turning the TV on as I turned the lights off, curling up with him under the blanket on my bed, eyes on the TV screen. As the previews rolled by and I snuggled into him, pulling the blankets up, nice and toasty warm as though his body heat didn't keep me warm enough.

As the movie started, I smiled. I hadn't seen it before, although everyone said how much of a beautiful, yet devastating movie Titanic was. A little ways into it, when Rose in the movie took Jack for a walk around the boat deck, I smiled and looked up to Adrian. "Is the movie really as sad as people say?" I asked, curiously.

Adrian nodded, "Yeah, the ending is what makes girls think it's sad." He said, grinning.

I nodded and turned my attention back to the movie. When half of it was over, it said to insert the second disk. It had been about an hour and a half and let me tell you, it was a good movie. Although, when that popped up, I just wanted to rest with Adrian. We could watch the rest tomorrow. I looked up to him, smiling as he rested his forehead against mine. "Like it?"

I nodded, "I love it." I said gently, bringing my lips up to his. "And you."

He smiled against my lips, "I love you, too, Rose."

I pulled back gently and let his eyes captivate mine. "We should really get some sleep..." I said, dreading the nights end, although, I was exhausted and I knew I had training in less then 12 hours. I needed at least 8 hours of sleep to function properly.

He nodded, "Whatever you say, little dhampir." he murmured, reaching over and pulling the lamp cord so everything blackened when he turned the television off.

I giggled and cuddled into his chest as he held me close and I closed my eyes, although, I couldn't shake the feeling of what I felt earlier when I realized that it wasn't Dimitri; Disappointment. It bugged me that I still loved him, although Adrian knew that I did and it wasn't exactly easy for me to just get over him. He understood and I guess that it was one of the best things he could do. I looked up to him for a moment, "I love you, Adrian."

He smiled, "I love you, too, Rose. Now get some sleep." he said as he brought his lips to my ear and before pulling back, kissed my cheek. His luminescent, green eyes connected with mine for a brief moment before we both closed them and we fell asleep shortly after.

**--**

When I awoke the next morning, stretching in Adrian's arms and realizing I hadn't moved an inch all night, along with no disturbing nightmares, I smiled. I looked up to Adrian, who was still fast asleep and smiled, kissing his fingers. I looked over to the clock: 11:06am. I knew I could sleep more if I tried, although I didn't really want to. I felt energized and peaceful and instead of getting up, I stayed in Adrian's arms, loving the warm, loving feeling.

He made me feel safe. Something only Dimitri had ever made me feel and I liked the small comparison although they were two, completely different people.

Adrian had always known me even better then I knew myself at times and I like that when I fell apart, he knew exactly how to put me back together when even I didn't know. After a few minutes, I felt him move and his eyes slowly opened. I smiled up at him. "Good morning," I whispered.

He smiled and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Good morning, beautiful."

Was it possible for him to sleep all night and look just as good as he did the night before? Apparently. I smiled, "How did you sleep?"

"Amazingly, you?"

"Same,"

He smiled. "Good,"

I smiled, resting my head on his chest. "I have training soon," I said unenthusiastically.

He chuckled, "It'll be okay,"

I sighed, "Yeah, I guess. Though I have to be with Dalliah who is far from a pleasure."`

He ran his index finger down my cheek. "Be the bigger person, Rose."

"I'm trying to be the bigger person, it's not that easy! Just recently I had so much taken away and the fact that I'm moving on is scary and the fact that I have to go down in that gym, _Dimitri's _gym, and deal with that bitch who just wants to see me fail and crumble under the pressure." I said, shaking my head. The anger pent up just came out and I hardly realized the warm, salty tears streaming down my face. "It's not what I wanted for my life, Adrian. I'm living in fear, now. Fear that since I lost Dimitri, I could lose many more and I can't let that happen. Now that Dimitri's gone, I have to take his role. He was always the one looking out for everyone _and _himself. Now, _I _have to do that, making sure along with my own life, I protect Lissa's, Christian's, yours and keep an eye out for my mom. It's not fair for me to have all these responsibilities and it's not fair that I have to get up every morning with it all lying on my shoulders."

Adrian took me into his arms, rubbing my back. "Rose... shh," he said, hurriedly. "God, shh... I love you so much and you only have to look out for your life."

I shook my head, "I protect Lissa, and now that Christian's in the picture, him too and now you." I didn't not want to protect him, I truly did and waking up every morning feeling the pressure was my fault. I put the pressure on myself, most of it at least. Certainly not all of it, though.

"Rose, calm down." he whispered in my ear. "Please, calm down sweetheart."

I gulped and nodded, wiping my cheeks with my sleeve. "I have to get ready for training..."

Adrian nodded and kissed me briefly. "I'll help you. But Rose, no one is putting pressure on you. Do your best, it's all we want. Hopefully you'll never have to fight again, but training is just making sure you know how to. Do it for me. Get along with her for me. Just for 2 hours every day and I know it may seem like it's a lot, but if it keeps you alive, it's not that much to sacrifice." He said, looking into my eyes the whole time.

I just nodded, and hugged him tightly. "Alright," I murmured, kissing his cheek as he pulled back and smiled, kissing my forehead. "Stay strong, little dhampir. Trust me, you're stronger then you think." he winked and then got up, going over to my drawers. "Now, what do you want to wear, training?"

**--**

I walked through the gym doors, biting my lip to keep from showing any emotion. Hatred, mostly. I seen Dalliah stood by the equipment room, stake in her hand as she fiddled with the case. "You'll be using this today,"

I bit my lip, "Aren't I supposed to run?" I questioned.

She shook her head, "Running is a waste of time."

I opened my mouth to object but I seen my mom come in and give me the 'behave look'. Though, I knew better then to think running was useless. It saved my life multiple times and Dimitri wouldn't of made me run class upon class upon class if it wasn't important. Still, I nodded. "Fine,"

She smiled, satisfied. "Take this," She said, handing me the stake as I took it, holding it the way I was taught.

"Posture," she said as I slumped with it.

"How can I keep my back straight while fighting?" I asked, raising a brow.

"You should be able to," she said in a bitchy tone.

"Like to see you try," I mumbled. Lovely start.

She raised a brow. "What was that?"

"Nothing," I said, keeping what I really wanted to say locked inside as she grinned.

"That's what I thought."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes and she drilled me more giving me directions that I obediently followed for Adrian, not for her. At the end of the practise, I was beat and my whole body was hurting from her stupid techniques that did nothing but stretch me and teach me how _not _to fight. If I fought like she'd told me to the whole class, I'd surely be dead first crack.

My mind rolled as I walked out of the gym and started walking outside to get some fresh air, even if the fall was quickly coming to and end, the chilling winter air was snipping at your nose. It was a nice little break though. I walked outside and thinking back to practise, it brought back a memory of my first fight. My first _real _fight at least. I remember someone calling me fat, despite my chubbiness when I was a kid and I turned around and knocked the guy one, right in the face and I almost broke his nose. I was suspended, but satisfied because the guy, who if I do recalled was named Parker, never spoke to me, or about me again. He stayed clear of me the rest of my duration at that school, when I got back from suspension of course.

I remember the feeling of adrenaline coursing through me when my fist hit his face. I also remember when I was small, Lissa's dad always told me I would grow up to be a very strong, independant woman with a good head on my shoulders. I liked it when he told me that. My mom or dad were never around and as much as I showed people that it didn't bother me, it did.

**--**

**Authors Note -**

**Hope you like this chapter, it didn't take me as long as I thought it would to write and get posted, which is great. Everyone knows since Christmas is approaching fast that the teachers love to pile on the tests, assignments and quizzes. **

**Anyways,**

**review, and the next chapter will be up that much sooner. (:**

- DramaticField


	21. Chapter twenty one

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty One**

**Rose's point of view**

"Rose," I heard Alberta's voice call from the other side of my door as I got up, going over and opening it. It had been a few days after the practise with Dalliah.

"Yes?" I asked, leaning against the door frame.

"I'm sorry for putting you with Dalliah." she apologized. "Your mom briefed me on the lesson yesterday. Everything she said, scrap it and get ready and come to the gym. I want to train you."

I smiled. "Really?" I asked, grinning happily.

"Really," she gave me a small smile before disappearing down the hall.

I smiled, shutting my door and went over to my dresser, pulling out a pair of black spandex shorts. I shoved off of my jeans and shoved them on before putting on a plain, white, baggy shirt over my yellow tank top. I shoved on socks and a pair of sneakers. Before I left, I grabbed my key and opened the door. I took a step out without looking, too busy fidgeting around with the key in my hand, trying to get it the right way to lock the door when I bumped into someone. I looked up and smiled apologetically as I seen Adrian. "Sorry!" I said softly, in an extremely good mood.

Adrian chuckled and the sound of his laugh was so sweet and uplifting. "It's alright. Where are you off to this early?"

I looked at my watch: 9:21am. "Training."

"And you're excited about it? I thought last practise was hell...?"

I smiled. "Alberta's teaching me. She said that Dalliah didn't know anything. My mom told her she was no good."

He smiled and hugged me tightly. "I'm glad, Rose. I hate to see you unhappy, especially when it comes to you being the best guardian you can be."

I smiled. "Thanks," I said pulling back to look at him as I kissed him softly. He kissed back and then smiled as he rested our foreheads together. "You should come." I said softly.

"To practise?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

He smiled. "Alright," he murmured, taking my hand. "C'mon m'lady."

I giggled softly. I intertwined our fingers as he lid me down to the gym and we entered, hand in hand. I seen Alberta sat on one of the mats, fooling around with the arm on a practise dummy and I couldn't help but laugh softly. She looked up and smirked. "Alright, get the other dummies out and we'll start."

I nodded and Adrian kissed me briefly before going up on stage as I got the dummies out. When I finished, Alberta stood and motioned for me to start running. I smiled; normality. I started running around the large gym, taking breaths in through my mouth, out through my nose. I seen Alberta go over to Adrian and start talking to him as she watched me run to make sure I wasn't lacking.

I wondered what they were talking about and kept running, only getting bits and pieces as I passed them. After I broke a sweat, Alberta called for me to stop and I jogged over to her, taking deep breaths in. "Go over by the dummies." She ordered and I obliged as she followed.

She passed me the stake that was in her hand. "Stake one."

I quirked a brow. "What?" I asked, confused.

"Try and stake one." she said simply.

"That's it?"

She nodded and I turned back to the dummy, taking the stake, drawing my arm back and lurching it forward. I almost got it in when Alberta got me from behind and tripped me up with her foot, making me flick the stake in front of me so it wouldn't hurt either of us as I spun around and somehow got my foot out before she tripped me up. I pushed her back a little so she stumbled and then she smiled as I stayed on my feet and she caught herself. "Good," she said simply. "Though, you need to have a faster reaction, otherwise, your neck will be snapped in .3 seconds."

I sighed, on the verge of breaking. This was hard enough without thinking about those disturbing things.

"Keep trying, Rose." Alberta encouraged me. "Now, pick the stake back up and we're going to try something new."

I nodded and unenthusiastically went over, picking up the stake. I drew it back the same and once again, before I got to stake the dummy, Alberta came behind and I immediately dropped the stake. My mood plummeted and I ended up in tears as I doubled over. I couldn't remove my foot in time and I heard something crack. It wasn't my ankle, more like a toe but nonetheless, it hurt like a bitch and I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears in. The tears were flowing for two reasons though; One: My toe, Two: This was the way Dimitri died. The new practise was so no more would die the way he did. I caught myself on my hands and closed my eyes tightly, taking deep breaths in to calm down. Adrian then ran over and Alberta quickly changed everything so she was at my side and she had caught my foot from banging against the gym floor.

Adrian took me into his arms and held me to his chest tightly. "Rose... are you okay?" he asked lovingly, kissing my forehead.

I shook my head, unable to speak as he caressed my hair with his hand, rocking me gently.

Alberta went immediately, calling for a nurse and Adrian kept me close, the tears seizing as the shock died. I loved Adrian and Dimitri, as much as I still loved him and wanted to be with him, he was gone and this was just another way for me to accept it. It didn't help the pain though. I was always better with physical pain rather then emotional though so I just bared with it as vibrations went up through my ankle from my big toe and then up to my mid-thigh before dying and another wave came.

I cuddled into his big, muscular chest and rested my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. Adrian sensed that I was calming down and just held me. "Rose, sweetie, how bad is it?"

I looked up to him. "Not that bad." I said gently. "It was more of... the shock."

Adrian nodded and kissed my forehead. "My little fighter,"

**--**

When the nurse arrived, I was taken to the nurses office in a wheel chair despite my pleads not to be taken in one. I couldn't walk though, so I had no choice. They were examining me, now and I wasn't quite sure where Adrian went off to when they told him he couldn't come in. My big toe was in fact fractured and it was puffy and red, which was far from attractive but they gave me a pain killer that was doing the job for now. Luckily, my toe nail was still fine.

"Usually," the red haired nurse spoke in soft, motherly voice. Her hair was slightly wavy and she looked to be about 20 because of all the freckles speckling her cheeks and nose. She had thin eyebrows and her eyes were a dark green. She had a small nose, full lips and a dhampir build. All in all, she looked younger then what she had to be, but she was very pretty. "we don't do anything with a broken toe unless it would heal out of place. With yours, it seems to be able to go back together without any help, but it would take longer. So for your training purposes, we're going to put a big toe splint on it." she said and I sighed, nodding.

She gave me a small smile as she got up, going over to the sink and opening a cupboard below it, taking out a black and red split. There was a bottom on it, but it was only small. It only had a bottom big enough for it to support the top of the foot. It didn't cover the heel. It had a wrap around strap and a piece to cover the toe and keep it in place. She carefully fitted me for it and then slipped it on my foot gently, careful not to jostle my toe.

"It may be a little uncomfortable at first," she said positioning it a little more. "but you'll get used to it. With dhampir's, this will help it heal in about a week. In a few days you'll probably feel like yourself again and it won't hurt, but we say a week so it's fully healed. If you want though, in about 5 days you can come back and we'll take an X-ray and see how it's healed. We may take it off and leave it."

I nodded, knowing it wouldn't help with my training. I really needed to pick up my weight already and missing a week would make things worse when I got back. "Alright,"

"You can walk on it, but obviously you can't wear a shoe so I suggest staying in your room for a little while." she finished putting it on and making it as comfortable as she could. It felt like something was just clamped onto my foot serving no purpose. "And you're done."

I smiled. "Thank you." I said, getting down off of the table. The way the split was, was that you put most of your weight on your heel and the little bottom on top helped keep the top up a little more. I was wobbly until I figured that out and I took a couple easy steps.

The nurse smiled. "You're welcome, and here," she said, taking out a bottle of pills from her lab coats pocket, passing them to me. "take one of these every 4-8 hours, or when the pain comes."

I nodded and gave her a small smile, taking the pills. "Thanks," I said, exiting the room as I seen Adrian waiting for me in the waiting room.

He smiled and came over, looking down at my foot. "Let's get the injured to her room." he said, grinning.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

He chuckled but I sighed. "I really need to pick up my weight in training."

He took my hand and led me from the nurses office. "You'll get better, one step at a time."

I laughed at the irony. "Whatever,"

He gave me a reassuring grin and he walked me back to my room.

**--**

It had been two weeks since I fractured my toe. The splint was off and I started training again. I had had about 4 training classes. I was progressing, which I guess was all I could really ask for. We had moved on from the little things and started other more difficult ones and I began to recall most of it from my training with Dimitri. On breaks I had been distracted by him, yes, but it never hurt my training, I didn't let it. And I wouldn't let anything do it now.

I was lid down with Adrian on my bed and we weren't doing anything in particular. Our usual banter back and forth was in session and our fingers played with one another's as we did so. The last couple weeks had been pretty leisurely and not much had happened.

"You know, Rose," Adrian said, looking up at the ceiling tiles. "I think it's time that I ask you to be my official girlfriend."

I smiled, looking over at him as he grinned and turned to look at me as well. He propped himself up on his elbow as he turned onto his side. "What do you say?"

I smiled and bit my lip. "I think you're cheesy."

He smirked. "That's a yes then?"

"Totally," I said gently, leaning in and places my lips to his sweetly.

He smiled against my lips and kissed back. Before it escalated, I heard a knock on the door and giggled, kissing him one last time before I got up, going over to answer it. Lissa was there, biting her lip nervously.

"What's up, Liss?" I asked, hurriedly.

"Can I come in?" she asked in a small voice.

I nodded, "Yeah, but Adrian's here, too."

She nodded and entered as I moved aside. "He can know now."

I knew what she was talking about and I shut the door. "Did you tell Christian...?"

She nodded and didn't say another word. "Tell Adrian, first."

I nodded and looked to him as we both sat on the bed, Adrian on the end, Lissa in the middle, I on the other side of her. "Lissa's pregnant, Adrian."

Adrian's jaw almost dropped, but to be nice, he tried to hide the shock. "That's great, Liss..."

She shook her head, frowning. "No, it's not. It's horrible and scary and definitely not great."

I frowned. "What did Christian say?"

"He was... shocked. He didn't exactly know what to say. He said he was there for me and the baby, but I could tell it wasn't what he was really thinking." she said softly as I took her hand.

"Just give him some time, Liss. It's hard for a guy to digest. That he's bringing a new life into the world and you and the baby are depending on him. It's horrific as much as it is exciting. He just needs to get used to the idea of it." Adrian said, rubbing her arm comfortingly.

I smiled as he told her it and nodded afterwards. "Exactly, all he needs is time. How far along are you now?" I asked, looking down at her hidden tummy. She was wearing a shirt that tightened below the bust and then flowed out to hide her tummy. She pulled the extra material back so I could see the small bulge below the fabric.

"14 weeks and a day." she said softly.

I nodded and placed my hand on her tummy. "So you're keeping him or her?"

Lissa smiled softly and nodded. "Of course,"

I smiled. "You'd never have the heart to give him or her up."

Lissa shook her head. "Never, I love him or her already."

Adrian smiled. "Christian will come around, I promise."

Lissa smiled. "I hope so," she said, looking at her watch. "shoot, I've got a doctor appointment in the city in an hour. I'm going to go get Christian, he said he was going."

I smiled. "Alright," I said, hugging her. "Good luck."

She smiled and when I let her go, Adrian hugged her.

"Thanks guys," she said softly before showing herself out.

Adrian chuckled. "Wow... I never thought she'd be pregnant this young."

I smirked. "Trust me, from when I've been pulled into her head, I'm surprised it wasn't sooner."

Adrian grinned. "That often, huh?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's how I got so good at keeping myself in my own head." I shivered thinking back to it.

He chuckled and pulled me into his arms as he kissed me passionately, yet sweetly. I returned the loving kiss and closed my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck. The kissing escalated a little and his hands moved downward, cupping my ass and I moaned softly into his mouth, letting my hands trail down his chest. His arms wrapped around my waist, pressing his hips onto mine. I gently ran my fingers through his hair, then began exploring every part of his body as if feeling a human form for the first time. My breathing was ragged, now. He rolled on top of me and remained motionless with his face hovering just above mine. I looked up, expectantly into his green eyes. "I love you, Rose." he murmured before crashing our lips back together.

He brought his hands to the bottom of my shirt, hesitating as if asking for permission. I nodded, still kissing him and I helped him lift it over my head. Soon, all of our clothing was on the floor and I felt him enter me, passion flooding through the both of us.

**--**

**Author's Note:**

**I hope you guys like this chapter and I want to say that I'm going to be skipping 3 months ahead in the chapter coming. So, the next thing you read will be 3 months after this all taken place. **

**If you want to know what I've got in store, review and the next chapter will arrive more quickly, I promise.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~ DramaticField**

**Review!**


	22. Authors Note Happy Holidays!

**Authors Note:**

I just wanted to wish you all a happy holidays!  
I hope that the holidays have treated you well and you've had lots of fun with family and friends.

I also wanted to say thank you to all my faithful readers. Without you guys, the story obviously wouldn't have progressed as well as it did. I hope to update again before I go back to school on the 4th, as well.

Lots of love and holiday cheer,

**~DramaticField**


	23. Chapter twenty two

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**A/N - 3 months later . . . **

**Adrian's point of view.**

"Adrian!" I said, hitting him playfully. "You're terrible."

He chuckled as the music once again, got louder upon request. "What?" Adrian asked, smirking. "It's a legit question." he shrugged, the smirk growing more prominent.

I shook my head, rolling my eyes blithely. "Is not," I muttered, just loud enough for him to hear over the raging music in the background.

The academy was attempting to enlighten everyone's mood after everything that happened by holding a dance in which I was required to go because Lissa wanted to. Lissa and Christian were out on the dance floor, having a good time with the many other royals and some dhampirs. I for one, was stood over by the punch bowl, talking to Adrian. It was much easier although I loved a good party. Somehow, they weren't as fun if they were allowed. I glanced over at Lissa every now and then but for the most part I knew she was okay. Any differently and I'd feel it through the bond anyways.

"Just answer the question, Rose." he said, grinning.

I sighed, "Fine, three times."

A smirk played on his lips again. "Hot," he commented.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Mhmm,"

He chuckled a little loudly which caught the attention of others who looked over and I bit my lip. "They're going to start thinking we're together." I said, scolding him.

"If I remember correctly," he said, looking down at me, raising a brow. "we are."

I nodded, frowning. "_We _know that, but _they _don't. And I don't want my mother finding out. They know, and so does she." I said quickly.

He shrugged, "Fine, but she will in time anyways, Rose."

"In time, not now." I said back, taking a sip from the glass in my hand that looked like punch, but wasn't totally. Adrian had mixed a drink for the both of us, the colouring pink to match the colour of the punch so nobody suspected it being alcohol. It was our slight way of rebelling.

He just sighed, taking a drink himself.

"I will tell her eventually, I promise." I said after gulping down a mouthful of the drink. Adrian said it wasn't strong enough to really affect me, just a little pick me up.

He nodded and then Lissa came over. "Rose," she said softly. "Christian and I are going to head off, you and Adrian can chill out elsewhere if you want." she smiled and I laughed softly, nodding.

"Use protection," I said, winking as she just rolled her eyes playfully and went back over to Christian, walking out with him hand in hand.

Adrian smirked. "Always the one talking about foul play."

I raised a brow, grinning. "Least I'm not the one that's constantly _doing _it."

He pretended to be hurt. "Hey now Rose, that was too far."

I shrugged, grinning. "C'mon, let's get out of here."

He chuckled and nodded. "Couldn't agree more."

With that, we left. We walked on the outside of the dance floor after throwing our empty cups into the garbage and out the double doors to the building. Adrian bumped his hand against mine when we got out, then reached down, taking my hand in his. I smiled softly and intertwined our fingers. "You know, we don't have to go back in the academy."

I looked up at him, raising a brow. "Where do you suppose we go?"

He shrugged and looked around. "I say we stay out here."

I looked up at the black sky as we continued walking, stars spread out far, the cool Montana air refreshing to breath in. It was nice to feel so small in such a big world when you're always stuck inside 4 walls give or take some rare freedom. I had realized in those four walls how death was not the greatest loss, it was what died inside of you that made it so tragic and heartbreaking. I realized this with Lissa and Adrian's help and my long road to recovery was full of hurt and pain, but now, looking up at the beautiful stars, I can take a deep breath in without feeling the constant ache that I used to.

I smiled, "That sounds... perfect." I said gently as I looked up to him.

Our eyes met and he smiled down at me. "You look beautiful, Rose."

"I know," I said, smirking as he chuckled.

I had on black flats that had a small black bow on the side of them, flopping over to the point I was almost stepping on it, though they were comfortable. A pair of straight leg black denim jeans accompanied the shirt that I borrowed from Lissa. It was a yellow tank top with another lacy shirt over it. It had floral patterns though it was really young, playful and sexy. The lace shirt gave me short sleeves and went up to my neck, going up halfway and then buttoning, leaving a small '0' shape where it separated slightly.

He rolled his eyes playfully and kept my hand in his as we walked. Adrian was dressed in DC sneakers, with a pair of black denim jeans and a hot white and blue button down.

"You clean up pretty well yourself." I said gently as he kissed my hair.

We walked in silence for a few minutes until we came to the Elementary side of campus. Everyone was inside and I looked at my watch. It was 9:30 and everything was growing dark. The spring was just starting and the weather was just starting to warm up. The only light we had to go by was the moon and it was nice.

"Let's go back," Adrian said gently. "It's dead over here."

I laughed softly and nodded. "Alright,"

**--**

**Adrian's point of view**

When Rose called me crying at 8:30 in the morning, I instantly figured one source in particular. Her mother, Janine.

"What's wrong?" I asked, swiftly.

"Can you come over?"

I nodded, "Be right there."

I hung up the phone, got dressed and went out the door, walking down the hall and into her room. She was on her bed, clutching a small, white stick in between her index finger and thumb. She had her free arm wrapped around her stomach and I raised a brow, going over.

"Rose," I said, sitting on the bed, taking her into my arms as she buried her face into my chest. I started to ask her, once again, what was wrong but stopped when I lost all breath, glancing down and see a small '+' sign outlined in pink on the stick in her hand. A pregnancy test. My heart, as well as my breathing seized. "No..." I said in disbelief.

"Adrian, I'm so sorry..." she said as I pulled back to look at her.

"It's not your fault..." I said, not having to consider that. "I should of been more careful. I knew I should of stopped for a condom... Dammit, I knew it."

"Stop, please." Rose murmured, crying harder. I didn't realize I was yelling that last words until she said it.

"I'm sorry," I said, my voice a soft and loving tone, crushing her against my chest as I held her as close as I possibly could to try and calm her down.

"Damn... Adrian, I'm having a baby..." she said as thought it was only sinking in now. "I just graduated, I'm only eighteen and trying to help Lissa through _her _pregnancy! And I'm having a baby; ourbaby."

I nodded, "I know... I know. There's always options you know..." I breathed.

"Are you suggesting what I think you are?" she asked, a hard look on her face, quirking a brow.

I didn't want to suggest abortion though I wasn't sure if I wanted that or not. It was our baby, yes, but it was hard not to want to wait. "Adoption, Rose." I said, softly.

She considered it, but without giving an answer, buried her face back into my chest and I rubbed her back, trying to calm her down, wondering how I was supposed to be a good father, despite my 3 years on Rose. After a few, long moments of consoling her, I pulled back to look at her.

"How did you figure it out...? I mean, how did you suspect it?" I asked her, my eyes boring into her bloodshot hazel ones.

She took a deep breath in and looked down, unable to keep meeting my eyes. She was ashamed of it all, I could tell. "I woke up with heartburn and I was really clammy. I got sick after you left last night, too, before I went to bed. There's been a slight stiffness in my back too for the last week. I figured it was from training and I figured last night I was just getting the stomach flu but after I got sick I felt fine again." she said in no more then a small whisper. I'd never seen her so scared.

I put my index finger under her chin, pushing up gently so she looked up at me. I kissed her lips lovingly; passionately, but briefly. "Rose," I said, resting our foreheads together. "We need to know for sure. Let's go to the nurses office."

I shook my head, biting my lip. "I can't, Adrian... I don't want them to know. God, what about my training?"

"Rose, stop." I said a little too assertively. "We'll get through this. I promise you that. You'll finish your training when the baby is born." And those words almost sent chills down my spine. 'When the baby is born'... Could this get any scarier?

I wasn't ready to be a father and Rose... she was definitely not ready to be a mom. She was still so young... So was I.

She just nodded, biting her lip.

"Come on, Rose, we need to tell Alberta."

She shook her head. "No, what if it comes out that I'm actually not? She would think so different of me."

I sighed. "Then let's go to the nurse."

She shook her head again. "People would see or hear, Adrian."

I sighed, aggravated. "What do you think we should do then?" I asked, a little harshly.

She shook her head, looking away as pain and hurt filled her face. "You go and do whatever the hell you want. I'll take care of this whole thing myself."

"What are you talking about Rose?" I asked quickly, placing a hand on her arm.

She pulled away and stood up, putting the test back in the box and then into her bag as she shoved on a fitted sweater. She was already wearing a pair of jeans and she also shoved on her sneakers.

"Rose?" I asked when she didn't answer. "Where are you going?"

"I _told_ you. To figure this out myself." She said, swinging the bag over her shoulder as she took concealed off of her dresser, putting it under her eyes so the bags under them wouldn't be so noticeable.

"Let me go with you." I said, sighing. I felt bad for getting upset with her.

"No," she said strongly. "forget I ever told you." as she said it, she dropped eye drops in her eyes that helped bring the white in her eye back to the normal colour, taking away the redness.

"Oh my god, sorry but it's a little hard to digest! I'm going to be a father and I'm not ready, Rose."

She looked at me, shaking her head. "And I'm _having _a baby. _Your _baby. My life is getting turned upside down, Adrian! Your life isn't going to change. Go back to the palace and have a normal life because I know you want to!" she paused, frowning, shaking her head. "Just go! Don't let this tie you down because I don't want to know that you're only with me because of the baby." she said, tears coming back to her eyes as she put her hood up and left the room.

**-**

**Author's note:**

**I took a drastic turn in this chapter and I'm not sure how you'll take it, honestly.**

**Though I'm going to have another big surprise involving Dimitri in the next chapter or two. I promise. :]**

**It's almost written, actually.**

**But you need to review so I can update quicker! **

**~ DramaticField. **


	24. Chapter twenty three

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter 23**

**Rose's point of view**

I was at the public hospital alone. I couldn't have anyone else knowing what I thought was happening. Not even Lissa. It was 2 and a half hours since I snuck off the academy's grounds and it took a half hour to walk here. Another hour and a half to get in in emergency and then of course, half hour of waiting to see a doctor. I had little money in my pocket but it would cover the cab fare back to the academy. I could of only afforded one way but walking here was good because I calmed myself down on the way.

My heart pounded in my chest as I waited in the small room. The aroma of plastic and paint were the only thing I could smell besides the little fresh air coming in through the half open window. I watched out the window, passed the purple and pink coloured blinds that I thought clashed with the light green colour of the room, as I waited for someone to come in and I wondered what would happen with Adrian and I. I was the reason he wasn't here, he had offered to come, and I told him no. But strangely, I felt as though I had to do this alone. _Accept _it alone.

I knew I couldn't lose him, I loved him way too much to have him walk out of my life, not looking back. Our child... if we _were_ pregnant deserved a father and I couldn't and wouldn't raise him or her alone. It was past my age to be a single mother. I took a deep breath in of the cool air and closed my eyes which were currently coating my eyes. I blinked a few times, blinking back the tears as I wrapped my arms around my tummy.

My breathing was getting shallower I realized and the chair- which didn't seen to bother me before, was really getting on my nerves. The small amount of cushioning on the back and bottom wasn't enough to not feel the metal beneath it and my ass was getting sore. I rose out of my seat, wringing my hands together as I went over, leaning against the windowsill, opening the window a little more first. My mind was racing and all I was trying to concentrate on was staying calm. It was the worst feeling in the world- being pregnant and young. It was terrifying and unstable. You were now put in a huge role of responsibility and you are forced to have your life changed whether you like it or not.

Then, I heard the door open and looked up from staring mindlessly at my sneakers, not taking anything in, just staring off into space. I seen a nurse come in and she gave me a small smile. "Hello miss, I'm Nurse Janet." she said sweetly. "What seems to be the problem?" she asked shutting the door.

I took a deep breath in as she briefly looked through my file, though I hadn't been in this hospital for years. "I think I'm pregnant," I said, my brow furrowing, worry lines appearing on my forehead.

The nurse looked up at me, taking in my features for a long moment. "Alright, let's get this checked out, shall we."

I nodded and gave her a small smile, trying to make it genuine though, unsuccessful as my heart pounded heavily in my chest. I walked over to the chair and took another seat as she rolled her chair over, staying sat in it. I crossed my legs. "Symptoms?" the nurse asked, my file in her hand, writing furiously.

"Heartburn, nausea, vomiting and my back was aching." I said gently.

She nodded, "Did you take a home pregnancy test?"

I nodded, "Yeah, it was positive."

She nodded again. "And you're a dhampir, right?"

I nodded as she glanced up at me. "On any pills? Or anything that could of made it come out positive?"

I shook my head, "I'm not on anything."

She scribbled something else. "How far along do you think you are?" she asked, keeping her eyes on my face.

I bit my lip. "Honestly? Anywhere between 3 months and 2 weeks."

She nodded, "Last time you had intercourse?" she asked getting her pen ready.

I bit my lip, "Not the Thursday past, but the one before that." Almost 13 days since it was now Wednesday, almost Thursday once more. Adrian and I had been busy and our relationship was hardly about sex. We only had sex a scare amount of times since we'd gotten together. About 5 or 6 over the course of 3 months.

She wrote that down and I sighed, finding it weird that a total stranger knew more about my life right now then my best friend, Lissa. "So you're somewhere between 2 weeks and 12 weeks, roughly." the nurse said, putting her pen down for now on her desk again as she reached behind her.

She turned to me again and put her hands together in her lap as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to take two blood tests and that will tell us your HCG level, which has to do with your hormones. One will tell us if you are or are not pregnant and the other will tell us how far along you are. Alright?"

I nodded, taking all the information in as I inhaled deeply. "Alright,"

The nurse smiled softly before getting up and going over to the large cabinet in the room. She opened it with the key she carried on a spiralled elastic on her wrist and took out two blood syrgines, along with two cotton balls, alcohol pads, a plastic strip thing that they put on your arm first and special slim white tape. She had 2 vials for blood and I sighed. Getting blood taken was nothing and it seemed as though finding out she was pregnant would of taken more, though she was glad it didn't.

The nurse came over, bringing a sturdy chair over to sit on so she wouldn't be rolling around like one the other one. She sat down parallel to me and opened the alcohol pads. "Put your arm out, sweetheart." I did as told.

She rubbed the pad over the spot she was taking the blood from before tying the elastic band around the top of my arm to get the vein to pop more. She put the vile in the syringe. "Ready?" I nodded and she inserted the needle into my arm.

I hardly felt the small pinch and before I knew it, she changed the viles and I watched the red blood flow effortlessly into the tubes. When they were both full, she took them off and then pressed the alcohol pad back over the needle and pulled it out, cleaning it and then taping the cotton ball onto it in case it bled a little afterwards.

She did the same for the other arm and then cleaned everything up, taking the two viles of blood and placing labels on them, putting them in the small pouch in her long white robe, walking over to the door.

"One moment, Rosemarie. I'm going to bring this to the lab. You can stay here while the lab reviews everything and it shouldn't take too long. You're on the top of the list and I'll be back soon." The black haired nurse- Janet, said, giving me a gentle, kind smile. Her dimples were prominant on her face and her brown eyes were big and round, giving her sort of a child like look. She didn't seem much older then I. Probably Adrian's age if not a little older.

I just nodded, "Thank you." I said softly.

"You're welcome," she said kindly before she exited the room, shutting the door behind her as she did so.

**--**

I laid my hands on my lap, staying in the hard, uncomfortable chair the whole time. She was only gone about 20 minutes before a knock came upon the door and she walked back in. "Usually," she said, shutting the door behind her. "the test takes 24 hours because the lab is so busy, but I know you don't have much time and where you're a dhampir, I fgured the academy will want the results, too. I'll leave that part to you though."

I gave her a small smile and nodded, "Thanks."

She just nodded and then took a deep breath in. "Your HCG is six, Rose." she said gently.

"What does that mean?" I asked, raising a brow.

"It means that anything over five is a positive pregnancy. You're level is 800, which, is normal for someone in their first trimester, seven weeks along." she said softly, keeping her eyes on my face.

I looked at her, my stature falling as I looked at the window, tears once again coating my eyes.

"There are options, Rose." she said, sitting back down in the chair still parallel to me. "I know you're young and I know you have duties at the academy. You do have options if you chose to access them or not, that's your choice."

I looked back at her and nodded, feeling her hand lay comfortingly on my knee. "I know many young women who came in here in your situation. Well, not exactly the same but you get the idea. I told them about their options. Abortion, adoption, whatever you're comfortable with. If you chose to have the baby, I know many nice couples wanting to adopt." she said gently.

I gulped, "I need time to consider things... Put them in proportion." I choked out, blinking back tears once more.

The nurse nodded eagerly. "Of course, Rose, you can have as much time as you'd like. Though for right now, I want to give you some vitamins to keep you, and the baby healthy."

I nodded, "How much will this all cost?" I asked softly.

She shook her head, "Nothing on you, I was instructed to bill it to the royal palace."

And now I knew that Adrian had been in contact with them. I just nodded as she got up, giving my knee a tight, reassuring squeeze. "I'll be back," she said gently. "by the way, you have someone waiting in the waiting room for you." she said softly. "Do you want me to send them in?"

I bit my lip. "Who is it?"

"Says his name's Christian." she said softly, hand on the doorknob.

I was surprised that Christian was here, astonished actually. "Yeah... send him in."

She nodded and left as I closed my eyes, leaning over and putting my head in my hands. I stayed like that until I heard the door open again and looked up to see Christian coming in timidly. "Hey Rose," he said softly and I barely heard him.

I gave him a small smile. "Hey," I wasn't exactly in the mood to joke around.

He sighed and came over, opening his arms to me. I looked up at him, under my eyelashes and got up off my chair, my legs wobbly under me as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. I closed my eyes, inhaling his sweet aftershave. It calmed me a little because it smelt like Adrian's. "How much do you know?" I asked softly.

"All of it," Christian said. "well everything that Adrian knew at least. He didn't know who to go to and he didn't think coming himself was the best idea right now." he pulled back to look at me for a moment and I gave him a slight nod before a thought jumped into my head. "Does Lissa know?"

He shook his head. "No, I told her I was going to the store. I'm letting you tell her on your own terms. She's fine and I'm supporting her through her own pregnancy. If you do want to tell her though, she's stable enough to hear it."

I nodded and looked up at him again. I could tell he was worried about me and I sighed as he hugged me tightly once more. "I'm sorry this happened to you, Rose." he said softly and I felt tears burn my eyes as I closed them tightly.

"Me too, Christian. Me too." I said, sitting back down as he released me from his arms and sat down on the chair the nurse was in only moments ago.

"So what's the verdit?" he asked.

"I'm 7 weeks pregnant," I said softly, in no more then a mere whisper.

He just nodded and I knew he didn't know what to say. Sincere talk between us wasn't exactly usual. Our relationship consisted most of banter and untimily remarks to one another though I was really glad it was him that was here with me. He made it seem okay. He didn't judge and Christian didn't think any less of me. He wouldn't yell or get upset. He was kind of like Switzerland; neutral. My mom was on one side, anger, and Adrian... I wasn't sure what he was just yet.

Our heads turned when the nurse walked in and she gave us both a smile. "Here," she said, handing me a small bottle with small white capsules in it. "this will help maintain the right levels of hormones and such." she said gently. "Take one a week."

I nodded and gave her a small smile. "Thank you," I said, taking the bottle.

She smiled, "You're welcome. Any problems, come back. We're here if you need anything, questions alike." she said.

I smiled again and nodded as Christian and I rose. "Thanks so much," I said before we left the hospital.

**--**

Christian had driven here with his Aunts car. Apparently she was in this week and had gotten in this morning. Despite the fact of Tasha and Dimitri's short lasted romance, she fascinated me and I did like her. Dimitri never truly loved her anyway he had said. He had loved me. Though it didn't exactly matter now. Christian was trying to take my mind off of everything but my mind was racing. We were almost back to the academy.

"She's got a guardian now. -My aunt."

I nodded and gave a small smile. "I'm glad, is he well known?" I asked.

Christian shook his head. "Not exactly well known, but he was one of the best guardians in his particualar academy. She likes that he's not widely known. It's easier for her. His names Guardian Nikolai. It's his first name, actually. He didn't want to be called by his last name for some reason so it's unknown to most. He's from Russia," he pasued to look over knowing that's where Dimitri was from. I kept my face neutral and nodded before he spoke again. "his English name is Nick. He graduated about 3 years ago." he concluded.

I nodded, "Yeah I understand why she wouldn't want anyone well known and I guess he's good if he's guarding her."

Christian just nodded and a moment of silence dragged by. "So, are you going to, uh, continue your training?"

I nodded and sighed, "Until I can't anymore. If I keep it up, it'll keep the weight off hopefully. At least for a little while."

Christian sighed, "Rose, Lissa's only 15 weeks and her stomach's got a pretty fair sized bump already."

Lissa and Christian had been in one of their rooms for weeks now. No one had seen them besides me, and that's how Lissa wanted it. Alberta didn't even know yet which surprised me, she was usually up on everything.

I sighed, "I know."

"Are you thinking of abortion?" Christian asked, glancing over at me for a moment, then back at the road.

I frowned. "I have no idea, Christian. I need to talk to Adrian first... if he'll talk to me."

He glanced back over. "He will, Rose. He would of came today, but he didn't think you wanted him to. He said it would be best if I went were I'm not exactly opinionated on this. If you have this baby, we'll be here for you, Lissa and I, and surely Adrian. Though if you don't, then I understand that, too."

"But you want me to have it?" I asked, keeping my eyes fixated on his face to take in his emotions, giving me an answer before he answered himself.

He sighed, "I think you should, yes, but you're also in training and have to protect Lissa, so I do understand if you chose not to."

I nodded and sighed, looking out the windshield to see the academy approaching. I frowned. "I can't go in there..." I said, looking away, turning my head to watch the surroundings passing by trying not to focus on where this path will lead us.

"No one knows, Rose. You may feel like everyone does, but I assure you, only the three of us do. You can do it."

I nodded and bit my lip, gazing over at him as he took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze before pulling into the academy's parking lot. When he parked, taking the keys out of the ignition, I shoved the vitamins into my sweater pocket and we both got out of the vehicle.

The warm air made me feel a little nauseous with all the humidity, but I shook it off and blinked a few times before following Christian to the gates, where they were guarded by Stan and another guardian in which I wasn't familiar with. I wondered why he didn't just sneak in with me.

"I had to run to the store," Christian said as they both looked at us. "Rose and I. We had to get something for my aunt, but they didn't have it. Janine told us we could go."

Stan considered this, but nodded, letting us back in. "Alright,"

I didn't smile as we walked in. I mainly kept my head down and walked with him to the building. "Want to go see my aunt? She could help, Rose... She helped Lissa and I. Maybe and adults opinion would be the best thing right now." he whispered so none of the rare people passing by could hear.

I bit my lip, considering this. "No," I said finally. "She'd think I'm a slut."

Christian shook his head and sighed. "She won't, Rose. She likes you and she also knows that once upon a time, you and Dimitri liked each other too."

My eyes bulged. "You knew?"

He nodded, "My aunt suspected it the first time she seen you guys together and she asked me one day. I said I didn't think you guys were anything more then trainer-student. I kept questioning it though and I don't know, it seems... logical."

"Tell anyone and I swear to god I'll-" But I was broke off when he started to chuckle.

"I won't,"

"Lissa knows, too." I told him as he took my hand, dragging me toward the woods to see his aunt.

"Eh, she knows everything." Christian said back as we went in a little deeper, him dropping my hand, knowing I was following.

I laughed softly. Not _everything_, I thought. Not yet at least. As we dodged branches, stepped over rocks and walked around big tree trunks, we finally got to our destination. One of the guest cabins. They were different from the cabins Dimitri and I were in, so they weren't as hard to be around. Christian led me to the door and he knocked.

We waited there for a long moment, the wind making the thinner trees sway in the blue sky and finally Tasha opened the door.

Her black hair flowed evenly down her shoulders and she smiled motherly to the both of us. "Why Rose, I haven't seen you in so long." she said gently. "Come in, come in."

Christian smiled and let me enter first. I went over, sitting on the brown and green coloured couch in the small living room. I didn't see her guardian but I was a little glad. Christian sat beside me and I laid my feet flat on the floor, my hands wringing together in my lap.

Tasha came in and sat across from us in another chair, taking the small remote beside her, turning the fireplace off. I took my sweater off, zipping it down. I had a t-shirt on under so I was comfortable and not too warm. "How has everything been?"

And without looking up at first, I knew she was talking to me. "Things have been... different." I said gently.

She nodded and frowned. "How has training been without Dimika?"

His name in Russain, Dimika, was a little hard to hear. I rubbed my cheek with one of my hands, letting it drop again to my lap. "Hard," I said simply.

She nodded. "Are you okay, Rose?" she asked. I knew she was talking about with Dimitri being gone.

I shrugged. "It's been hard, but I've found a little closure along the way. Christian, Lissa and especially Adiran have been around a lot."

She smiled. "I'm glad," she murmured. "When I heard what happened I was dumbsruck."

"When I watched what happened I was dumbstruck." I said back.

She nodded. "I imagine how hard it was."

I just nodded and looked down at the hardwood floors, studying the pattern in it. Right stroke, left stroke, dot. Right stroke, left stroke, dot...

"We need to talk to you, Aunt Tasha." Christian said gently. "Rose is in a little... trouble."

Tasha's brow furrowed. "What kind of trouble?"

Christian looked at me and I frowned, running a hand through my hair as I looked up. The words that came out were almost inaudible. "I'm having a baby..."

Tasha's face was amazed, but surprised and scolding. "Rose... you're pregnant?" she asked softly, keeping her eyes on mine. "Who's the father?"

I frowned even more and looked away, nodding. "Adrian Ivashkov,"

Tasha came over and bent down by my legs. "Look at me," she said softly.

I looked down at her, my eyes glazed with tears.

"It'll be okay... Does he know?"

I nodded. "Only him, you and Christian know."

She nodded. "What did he say?"

"He was mad at himself... then mad at the whole thing and then said we'd work through it and then got mad at me for being so unsure and then I left." I said softly, trying to blink back the tears.

She nodded and hugged me tightly, like a mother would. Christian rubbed my back a little and I hugged Tasha back, neither of us knowing what to say.

**--**

**Author's note:**

**This chapter is longer then most, and I hope you all liked it.  
**

**Dimitri fans- Just keep Nick, Tasha's guardian in mind. ;] Dimitri's far from gone. If that means body or mind though is the question. **

**Adrian fans- Balancing a good amount of Dimitri and Adrian is hard, that's why Adrian's been overcoming him and Rose's feelings for Dimitri. She will probably always love Dimitri in one way or another, but she loves Adrian, too. **

**People have said they don't like how Rose has gotten pregnant so fast. Just remember- Rose and Adrian got together first because of Rose's vulnerable state and they first had sex because she needed to be with someone she loved and who loved her. This is the twenty-third chapter and her and Adrian have been 'together' for about 5 or 6 months to this point. Sorry if it seems a little fast, but you have to keep mixing it up and keep it interesting. **

**  
Thanks for reading and like usual, review and you'll see what happens faster! **

**Shout outs next chapter to reviewers!**

**~ DramaticField. **


	25. Chapter twenty four

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

**Rose's point of view**

Tasha encouraged me to have the baby, long story short. She said that I had a living, breathing thing that was inside of me. He or she had a heartbeat and he or she was depending on me for life. After hearing that, I didn't have the heart to abort the baby.

It was 4 days after I found out I was pregnant. Adrian hadn't been around and I was wondering if the rumours that he'd left school were true. I was down in the gym, getting dressed in the change room after practise with Alberta when I heard a knock on the girls bathroom door.

"Rose?" the voice; Adrian's voice, questioned.

I quickly did the button on my pants up and went over, opening the door slowly. I leaned against the door frame and looked up at the man that had fathered the baby I was carrying. "Yeah?" I asked, attitude firm in my voice despite the fact that I was actually glad to see him.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry for not being around lately. It's a lot to digest."

Thankfully, no one was in the gym but us. I sighed, "And you don't think it's a lot for me to digest, too?" I asked, crossing my arms.

He nodded, "I know it is, Rose."

A long silence passed and he broke it. "Damn, I need a cigarette." he muttered, tasseling his hair.

"I thought you quit?" I asked, shaking my head.

I seen debate going on in his head. "Dammit, Adrian. Just leave."

Adrian sighed. "I _did _quit, but stress brings back the craving." he paused, "Give me a little credit here. I mean, I'm _trying._ I stayed with you."

"Unlike my dad, right?" I asked, my voice holding more accusation then it should of considering the fact that I knew it wasn't what he meant.

Adrian didn't say anything. Instead, he just engulfed me into his arms, into a tight, loving embrace.

"I didn't mean that..." I told him, frowning as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

He nodded, "I know."

"It's just that things are crazy right now... They're so, so scary." My voice quivered as I spoke and I inhaled deeply.

He caressed my hair with his free hand, his other one wrapped around my waist keeping our bodies close and having my hormones on over drive was really eating at me. "I'm here, Rose, and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

I pulled back a little, looking up at him. "What about the money? I don't have the money to have and raise the baby." I said, gulping.

He chuckled, running his hand that was just on my hair, down my cheek. "Don't worry, I have plenty of money. More then I could ever imagine using. We're going to be okay, Rose. Me, you, and the baby."

Then, I heard the door of the gym shut and I snapped my head over, seeing Alberta stood there, a dumbfounded look on her face.

I wondered how much she heard and Adrian turned as well, releasing me from his arms. "Alberta..."

"A baby?" she asked, striding over. "What are you talking about?" she demanded, her voice strong and firm.

I took a deep breath in, placing one hand mindlessly onto my small bump that wasn't noticeable unless you knew. Then, I realized something. She didn't exactly know anything yet. I rubbed my stomach as though I had a stitch from practise. I looked at her and raised a brow. "Not me," I said, laughing softly as I dropped my hand. I didn't know how convincing I sounded, but I knew by the look on Alberta's face that she would believe me because she _wanted _to. "Lissa's baby." I only said it because Alberta knew Lissa was pregnant. They had told her to get special accommodations made, and she was more then happy to do so.

Alberta nodded and took a deep breath in. "What about her baby?"

"Adrian and I are going to be babysitting a lot when he or she is born and we were just talking about how we'll manage." I lied, trying to make it convincing.

Adrian gave me a look telling me that she would find out sometime, but sometime just wasn't now and I knew Adrian wouldn't say anything because he wanted to keep me happy with him.

Alberta just nodded, "You guys get going, I have practise in here in the next hour." she said more softly.

I nodded and gave her a small smile before grabbing my bag and going off, hand in hand with Adrian.

When we got outside of the gym, and up to my room, I turned to him. "Are you coming in?" I asked him softly.

He hesitated. "Do you want me to?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Of course I do, Adrian... I love you."

He smiled and leaned down, kissing my forehead. "I love you, too. I'm just trying to give you the space you need."

"I don't need any space. I want you to be with me. I need you with me." I told him softly, unlocking the door.

When we got inside, he locked it behind us and I went over, letting the blinds down, shutting them, and pulling the thick, black drapes over before turning the bedside table lamp on to just warmly light the room. Adrian smiled and sat on the bed. "I'll always be here, whenever you need me." he murmured.

I smiled but didn't go over just yet. I undid my gym bag, putting it on my bed as I shoved my sweaty clothes into the hamper in my room, my water bottle in the bathroom and my hair ties on my dresser. I put the bag under my bed and then went over to my dresser, opening the top drawer, taking out a pair of pyjama short shorts and a white tank top, with a white see-through t-shirt. I felt sweat accumulating on my brow because of the overwhelming warmth in the room. Adrian stood up, taking off his shirt over his head and I marvelled for a few moments on his muscular body.

I felt Adrian's eyes on me as well as I took off my gym pants and t-shirt, revealing my undergarments and I put the shorts on, leaving my shirt off for a moment. I walked over to the mirror and turned side on, seeing the small bump. The hardly noticable bump. I seen Adrian get up off the bed and come over. He went behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, his hands resting where the bump lay. He let his fingers graze over my skin and I looked down, sighing.

"You're beautiful, Rose." He murmured in my ear.

I looked up at him, over my shoulder and smiled softly. "I'm pregnant." I stated.

He chuckled, "And still beautiful. You know, pregnant woman give off this inner beauty; radiance. It's like they glow."

I laughed softly at that. "Sure,"

He grinned, "It's true, whether you believe it or not."

I smiled and after a few short moments I sighed. "Are we really ready for a baby?" I asked, looking in the mirror at us.

He looked in the mirror as well and shook his head. "No, we're not, but I know we can make it work."

I sighed and nodded, "I hope you're right."

**--**

"Rose!" I heard Lissa's voice squeal through the door as she knocked furiously on it.

I groaned, waking up groggily in Adrian's arms. I looked at the clock, and it was only 3am. I wondered what was so important at this hour and I squirmed out of Adrian's arms as he began to regain consciousness.

I went over to the door, unlocking it and opening it. She came in past me and I shut the door again, raising a brow.

Before I could ask her what was up, she took my hand, placing it on her stomach. "Feel!" she said, smiling brightly.

I laid my hand flat on her progressively bigger bump and after a short moment, I felt it. The baby kicked and Lissa squeezed her eyes tightly, the smile growing if that was all possible. "Isn't it amazing!?" she asked, laughing musically.

I smiled happily and nodded, letting my hand drop. "That's awesome, Liss." I said softly, happy for her. "Do you know if it's a girl or boy?"

Lissa shook her head. "I'm not finding out." she said softly. "We want to be surprised."

I laughed softly, "That's cute. Just buying neutrals then?"

Lissa nodded. "Buying mostly yellows."

I smiled. "That's great, Liss."

She giggled. "Sorry for waking you."

I let a small laugh escape my lips. "It's alright, does Christian know?"

She laughed, "Actually, he felt it and woke me. I'm going to go back now, actually. Let you sleep."

I smiled. "Alright, but I'm so happy for you, Liss."

She hugged me tightly and nodded. "I'm so excited."

"I would be too." I said, my voice breaking softly as I looked to Adrian who was sitting up in bed, leaning against the headboard. He gave me a reassuring smile.

As Lissa pulled back, I smiled and we said goodnight as she left again and I locked the door once more. I turned the light back off after turning it on when she came in. I went over to the fan on the table and turned it on as I took a deep breath in, letting it out slowly. I wiped my forehead of the clamminess and went back over to the bed.

Adrian chuckled, "Rose, it's freezing in here." he said, taking the blanket at the end of the bed and putting that one, as well as the heavy blanket and comforter over him.

I groaned, getting up onto the bed, taking the small blanket I was using and putting it over me, needing something over me to sleep. "It is not."

He grinned and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me to him as I rested my head on his chest. He kissed my cheek. "You are warm." he said, rubbing my arm. "The heat you're giving off is ridiculous." he said, his other arm feeling my forehead and cheeks. "You're warm, but everywhere is, so."

"I don't have a fever." I told him. "I'm just really hot."

He chuckled. "I know you are." he said, winking.

I laughed softly and he held me close, his hand going from my arm to my tummy once more and I fell asleep quickly in his arms.

**--**

I felt Adrian stir and rub his eyes, which woke me up. I felt rested though, when I woke up and I rubbed my eyes and looked up at him, smiling. "Good morning, handsome." I murmured.

He smiled down at me, kissing my forehead, which had since cooled down nicely. "Good morning, beautiful."

I laughed softly and sat up, a little too quickly. I felt my stomach churn and flip as I coughed. My head started quickly getting clammy and I felt myself get light headed as I reached down, grabbing the garbage bucket.

Adrian was confused and rubbed my back, sitting up as well, behind me as I felt my stomach jolt and I was sick. I groaned when I finally stopped throwing up, putting the garbage bucket onto the floor once more. I leaned back onto Adrian as he wrapped his arms around me and I wiped my mouth in my sleeve, tears an automatic reaction for a reason unknown. He turned me around so I was facing him and he looked a little green himself, but he held me close, wiping the tears away.

After many long moments, I pulled back and sighed. "I'm going to go wash up..." I said softly.

He nodded and leaned into kiss me, but I pulled back. "I was just sick." I told him.

He chuckled. "Fine, I'll wait for you to wash up."

**--**

**  
**"Goodbye," I heard Adrian say as I entered the room, after getting a shower and getting all ready for the day, my straight hair flowing down my shoulders, a pair of black jeans on along with a red tank-top. I remembered Adrian saying he liked me in red.

It took me a minute to notice that he was on the phone. He sighed, "No, just leave me alone."

I wondered who he was talking to, and feeling refreshed, I went over, sitting next to him. He tasselled his hair with his free hand before wrapping it around me. He still had his shirt off, but his jeans were now on. I stayed quiet as he kept the phone to his ear. Being this close I could now hear his aunts voice on the other line.

"You and Rose are not going to be together, Adrian. I want you with royalty."

Adrian groaned, "I really don't care." He started rubbing my arm mindlessly.

Tatiana sighed, "Adrian Peter Ivashkov, I don't want to hear anymore of this."

Adrian looked to me, apologetically. "Rose's pregnant, Aunt Tatiana."

I knew he had to tell her to get her to shut-up, but I also knew now everyone would know and I dreaded the thought. Terrified, actually.

I heard silence on the other line and then, finally, a laugh. "Yeah, sure she is. You wouldn't sleep with her, Adrian."

"Actually, I did. Many times, and she is pregnant. With my child." The first part was just for spite.

"Psh, are you sure it's yours? I mean, she's not exactly the most careful girl."

Adrian shook his head, rolling his eyes. "She lost her virginity to me." And I knew he was only saying it so Tatiana would believe him. And technically, if anyone asked I _did _lose my virginity to him, because no one could find out about Dimitri and I.

"Adrian, stop this nonsense." There was a frightened edge to her voice.

"I'm sorry, Aunt, but it's true and I love her. I'm going to marry her one day and I swear to god, if I hear that you've told anyone about her pregnancy, I will _not _take the throne." I wondered if he could actually not take it, but I kept it to myself for now. I never heard him talk in such... disrespect to anyone. Yeah, the sexual innuendos when we first met were sort of disrespectful if you were that uptight Church-going girl who wore turtle necks 24/7, but this was different.

"Adrian you can't do that."

"I can, and I will, so keep your big mouth shut because only her and I, and now you, know." he left Christian out. It was for the best because Tatiana didn't like him much, either. Just because of his parents. Boy could she hold grudges. Then, he flipped the phone shut and sighed, putting it on the bedside table, pulling me close with both arms.

"I'm sorry about that." he murmured. "She called and I figured... it was the only way that she'll leave it all alone, Rose. A child is a strong bond and even she knows that."

I nodded and laid my head on his chest once again.

**--**

"I'm going to do this," I told myself, taking a deep breath in. I was outside Alberta's office, way after lights out after a day of just resting with Adrian. I needed to talk to her and I knew that she would be in her office doing whatever she did at this hour. I lifted a heavy hand, knocking on her door.

After a few moments, she opened the door and gave me a small, confused smile. "Hello, Rose. Aren't you supposed to be in bed?" she asked.

I nodded, taking a deep breath in. "Can I talk to you?" I asked.

She nodded, ushering me inside, shutting the door behind her. "Of course, what's up?" she asked, sitting in the chair behind her desk, gesturing for me to sit on the opposite side in the chair.

I sat down, playing with my fingers as I took a deep breath in. "I lied to you," I said gently. Only months back, I woud of had no problem lying to her and wouldn't really care if I had to admit it. But Alberta had been great to me and I felt terrible.

"What do you mean?" Alberta asked.

"Yesterday, in the gym. You asked what Adrian and I were talking about a baby for..."

Alberta frowned, looking at me. "You're pregnant, aren't you?"

All I could do was nod, tears, thanks to my over active hormones, accumulating in my eyes.

"How far along are you?" she asked, a softness in her voice.

"Almost 8 weeks," she said, her voice quivering.

**Alberta's Point Of View.**

I wish I could of say I had no clue, but unfortunately, I had known since the talk the three of us had yesterday, I just wanted to believe otherwise. As I looked at her now, she looked exactly like her mother did 17 years ago. She looked terrified, nervous and on edge. Though from the small details I overheard them talking about in the gym, Adrian was going to be there for her, unlike Ibrahim, Rose's dad, had been for her mother. I knew it wouldn't make it any less scary, though.

I remembered Janine and I being fairly good friends. We were around the same age though she was a novice when I was supposed to be graduating. There was somethign about her determination and inner and outer strength that connected us. Gave us a common ground. I remember her having a relationship with Ibrahim . No one thought a lot of it, and eventually, after we had both graduated, she had came to me one day, disoriented and a mess. Something I had yet to see her like.

I remember taking her into my room, us sitting on the couch in my room. Her long brown hair, just like Rose's, draped over her shoulders, pin straight and the trepidation in her eyes was enough to worry me even before she started crying.

She told me she was in big trouble and I asked her what she meant. After she gave me a long, detailed description on how one thing lead to another at first, then it began to become a normal thing for them, she finally got to the part where she admitted to me she was pregnant. I tried to put myself in her position to condole her, but I couldn't imagine what was going through her mind and I remember sitting there, hugging her until she, and I, stopped crying.

I let my guard down a little, now. Trying to be more like a mother figure to her whereas I knew hers wouldn't be much help since she was gone away yet again. Janine and I were still close, but we had our own lives which kept us apart for the duration of our free time.

"Are you sure?" I asked her.

She nodded, "I went to the hospital. I didn't want anyone here finding out. But I hated lying to you and I knew eventually, I'd need your help if you were willing to help me."

"Of course I'm willing to help you, Rose." She was like a daughter to me in a way. I cared about her and her well being. She was everything her mother was, strong, independent, determined, and she would be a great guardian. "And it will stay between us."

She nodded and wouldn't look me in the eye though I could tell she appreciated those words. "Can we still keep up my training?" she asked, softly.

"If you want to, then yes. But when you... you get closer to your due date, I don't think it'll be best."

"What about graduation?" she asked, bringing her gaze to meet mine.

"We're still going to train for a few months, and then when you recover from having the baby, which shouldn't be long at all where you're a dhampir, we can start again. You won't lose much time." I said kindly, getting up and going over to her.

She smiled through her obvious discomfort. "Thank you so much, Alberta." she said as she rose from her seat.

I smiled and to both our surprises, I engulfed her into a hug. "You're welcome, Rose." I said softly. "I hope everything goes smoothly and I'm always here to help, or to just talk." I said, releasing her.

She smiled and nodded, and then, a knock came on my door. I called for them to enter and seen Stan, my fellow guardian. He looked between Rose and I and I knew Rose didn't want anyone else to know. I wondered who exactly knew in the first place besides Adrian and I.

I smiled at him and turned to Rose, my smile dropping, going back into work mode for Stan's eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow morning at 9, sharp in the gym." I told her as she nodded.

We shared a secret smile in our eyes as she nodded and went past Stan, leaving.

It amazed me how much it was like my conversation with Janine, almost 18 years ago.

**--**

**Rose's Point of View**

I walked toward the gym the next morning grudgingly. I hoped things wouldn't be awkward, but knew better then to think they would be. Alberta would take into consideration that I was pregnant, but in the long run, she would treat me like all her other students, minus a couple differences as the pregnancy progressed. The bump wasn't noticable unless I wore, well, basically a spandex shirt, which I'd never wear anyway. Even with a tank top you couldn't tell, to which I was grateful for.

I entered the gym, seeing Alberta standing there, waiting by the supply room for me. I walked over slowly, taking a deep breath in, pretending it to be just another, regular day and the night before never happened.

I stopped about a metre away from her and she smiled. "Alright, let's get started, but first, I want you to meet Guardian Nikolai," she said as a man came into view, lounging against the door frame, entering a small office the guardians sometimes used. I only faintly noticed him, keeping my eyes on Alberta's face. "he will be watching our lessons, and other lessons to eventually move up far enough to take over teaching."

Then, I looked over at him, taking in all of his facial features, body structure and eyes. My breathing stopped, my heart beat fading to my understanding.

His almost shoulder length, dark brown hair accompanied his equally dark brown eyes and I found myself inwardly gasping for breath.

He could of been Dimitri's twin.

**--**

**Author's note:  
I hope you guys like this chapter. They're progressively getting longer and more things are happening, so I'm trying to put as much needed detail and different scenes in a chapter as possible, without putting too much in to make it more interesting. Also, I'm really trying to get a mixture of characters involved, so I hope it's working. [:**

**Next chapter will be out soon, hopefully by the end of the month.**

**Remember, **

**Review!**

**~ DramaticField  
**


	26. Chapter twenty five

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

**Rose's Point of View**

My breathing hitched in my throat and I looked away from the face that reminded me so much of Dimitri.

"He was Guardian Belikov's older brother. He's not much older though Dimitri never even knew he had a an older brother." she explained. "He was sent to an academy when Dimitri was only a baby."

Then, Guardian Nikolai spoke. "I know you were close with my brother and what happened was terrible." He said, his thick Russian accent making my chest tighten. Though, he didn't attract my attention the way Dimitri had. There was a different heir to him. Not bad exactly, just... different.

Then again, I was over emotional now anyways so that was probably why everything affected me so much.

I nodded agreeably.

Then, through with wasting time, Alberta finished with the introductions and she told me to start running thirty laps.

I inwardly groaned, but nodded and knew if I was going to try and keep the baby weight off long enough that there would be a lot more running. Of course thirty laps were less then Dimitri made me run, but Alberta always snuck in another 30 at the end of practice.

I let my feet hit the gym floor under me with power, but a sense of smoothness and gracefulness. On the fifteenth lap I started to feel my breathing become strained, but I controlled it and finished.

I leaned against the mats that were piled in the corner and took even deep breaths in before Alberta came over, carrying the thing that made my whole body straighten up and a smile appear on my face: a stake.

"We're going to do more drills today, Rose." Alberta said. "On the practice dummy, though. I want you to hit 40 of them in the heart with the stake. Try to do it in a row." If someone told a human to do something 40 times in a row, I knew they would moan and groan about it. But there was a huge difference on improving on something, like a sport, and trying to learn something to stay alive.

I nodded, taking the stake out of her hand as I wrapped my fingers around the cool silver in my hands and I proceeded over to the practice dummies.

**--**

Towards the end of the practise, after I had 'killed' over thirty of the dummies in a row, while Alberta and I were running over a stake procedure, I felt a sharp abdominal pain. I dropped the stake out of my hand as it fell to the floor and one arm wrapped around my stomach, my eyes closing tightly as I bent slowly to sit on the floor. Guardian Nickolai came over, taking the stake out of concern and Alberta squat down next to me, placing a hand on my knee. "Rose," she said, "Are you alright?"

I seen Guardian Nickolai give a small, disapproving look. He didn't know about the pregnancy, so I guess I understood, thinking I did something wrong to injure myself. He hadn't seeming to be paying much attention unlike Dimitri would have.

I just nodded, exhaling the deep breath I had inhaled as the pain left just as quickly and painstakingly as it came. "Yeah," I finally said, opening my eyes. "Sorry."

Alberta seemed more concerned then most people would be but she took my word and we both rose. "I think that's enough for today, Rose." she said softly. "Go rest up and I'll make contact with you referring to our next practise."

I just nodded and then grabbed my bag, putting on my sweater, before exiting the gym, going into the hallway. I passed a few people on the way to the fourth floor, which my room was on, but before I got to my door, Jesse approached me.

"Hey Rose," he said, a smug look spreading across his face.

"What do you want, Jesse?" I asked, annoyed as I absent mindedly pulled my sweater a little tighter, crossing my arms over my chest.

He grinned, and didn't say anything, just gave me a quick once over. "So it's true?"

I raised a brow. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but I think you need to go check whatever source you get your gossip from." I snapped.

"Moody too, huh?" he said, smirking.

I rolled my eyes, "And that's any different then any day _because_?"

Jesse shrugged. "Because today, you're pregnant." he said, grinning triumphantly.

I was floored. Though I kept a collected look on my face. "And where did you hear that from?" I asked, the tone of my voice brushing the topic off.

"Around campus," he said, slyly. "And now I know it's true."

I raised a brow. "How do you figure that?"

"Because you're acting differently. If it wasn't true, you would start yelling at me, or hit me or something. Your temper is something you're famous for, Rose." he said matter-of-factly.

I knew he was right, so I resorted to the last thing I could. I took a step toward him, and pushed him back against the wall. "Tell anyone anything and I swear I will personally see to your demise." I stated, before turning on my heel and instead of going into my room, I went down the stairs to go to the guest housing. I needed to talk to Adrian.

**-- **

"He knows," I said as Adrian opened the door to his room.

He raised a brow and moved passed so I could come in. He shut the door when I did and I went over, sitting on his bed. "Who knows what, Rose?" he asked.

I was so worked up and livid that I hardly recognized that the room, for once, didn't smell like alcohol or cigars. I was impressed. "Jesse and probably half the academy knows that I'm pregnant," I stated, running my hand through my hair.

Adrian looked at me blankly before cursing. "How do you know?" he asked, bringing a chair over so he could sit in front of me.

"Because he confronted me a few minutes ago before I got to my room and told me that he knew."

He sighed and took a deep breath in. "If I find out who told him I swear to god I'll-"

But I cut him off, leaning forward and capturing his lips with mine. I just needed the wholeness.

He kissed me back, letting one of his hands come up and tangle in my hair.

I smiled against his lips and kissed him a little harder, but pulled back when I felt my libido start getting to the point where I wouldn't be able to control it.

"I love you, Rose," Adrian said gently, resting our foreheads together.

I smiled, "I love you, too, Adrian," I murmured.

He chuckled and let the hand tangled in my hair brush down my cheek. "We'll get through this: Together."

I smiled, but then frowned. "Lissa's going to find out, now," I said, sighing.

"Then you'd better tell her before someone else does," he murmured, kissing my cheek.

I frowned, closing my eyes, feeling the calming sensation of his lips on me before I reopened them. "Alright," I murmured. "I guess I'd better tell her now."

"Do you want me to come?" he asked.

I shook my head, "No, I think I'd better do this alone."

He nodded, understandingly. "Alright, love you," he said as I stood up.

I smiled, kissing his forehead. "Love you, too."

Then, I left.

**--**

"Lissa?" I said as she answered her cell phone.

"Yeah, Rose?"

"Meet me in the library in five minutes, okay?"

"Alright," she said, her voice weary.

I hung up and proceeded towards the library and wondered just how my voice sounded on the phone. Did it contain the fear and uneasiness that I felt? Or did it sound more collected like I wanted to portray? Either or, I had to tell her before she heard it from someone else. It was for the best.

I walked passed the glass window of the library, entering through the double doors. I strode over to the double couches in the back, between shelves as I waited for Lissa. I didn't exactly think on how I would phrase anything. Of course, I'd ask about her pregnancy and ask how far along she was now, but, I couldn't tell her about mine right away.

I thought of every way I could tell her, and I figured the best way was to be flat out honest. She liked it better when I told her everything. Coming to this conclusion, I heard the library door open and my head popped up to see Lissa entering, scanning the room for me.

When she seen me, a smile appeared on her pink lips and she came over, plopping next to be on the couch. "What's up, Rose?" she asked.

I gave her a small smiled and shook my head. "Nothing really."

She raised a brow, giving me the look that tells me she wants me to tell her more. "Why did you want to talk?"

I stayed silent for a long moment before answering, vaguely. "I need to tell you something."

She nodded, signalling for me to continue.

"I'm pregnant," I said, the words coming out quickly.

Lissa took the information in for what seemed like ten minutes before she said something. "When did you find out?" she asked.

I looked at her and frowned, "A couple days ago."

"It's Adrian's, correct?"

I smiled a little. "Well duh."

She laughed a little, too. "Who else knows?"

I frowned. "Apparently now everyone does. But one person knew and I don't want you to be mad at them... He was trying to help me and he knew it would be better if I told you."

"Christian," she said before I got a chance to tell her.

I nodded. "I wanted to make sure, so I walked to the hospital, sneaking off campus after Adrian and I had a fight. I found out I was seven weeks, almost eight now. Around the end, Christian came. Adrian had told him everything and asked him to come get me so I would be okay. He didn't think I was ready to see him yet. He was only trying to help. Then, when we got back, we went to visit Tasha. She helped a lot after we told her." I sighed, "Then, Tatiana found out and then I had to tell Alberta. And finally, by what Jesse told me a half hour ago, apparently it's a 'rumour' going around school now, too."

She frowned and sighed, pulling me into a hug. "I wish you told me sooner," she murmured. "But I understand and I'm going to be here for you, just like you are here for me."

I smiled upon pulling back. "Thank you, Liss." I said softly.

She smiled. "Of course, Rose."

I laughed gently. "So, how far along are you now?" I asked her.

She smiled, placing a hand on her stomach, caressing the obvious bump - even through her baggy sweatshirt, lovingly. "Almost seventeen weeks."

I smiled gently and she took my hand, placing it on her bump. "This is Aunt Rose," she said gently, talking to the baby I presumed.

As public of a place as it was, it wasn't crowded. The librarian was at her desk, which wasn't in sight of us and there were only a couple people studying on the tables, which were out of earshot. I smiled and looked to Lissa as she giggled.

I then took her hand and placed it on my small bump. It was a little hard to feel, but when you knew it was there, it was easy to tell. I didn't know what to say. I didn't exactly have a connection with the baby inside me, yet.

Lissa just smiled. "You're going to be a good mother, you know." she said softly.

I could help but laugh. "I hope you're right because I don't know. I know Adrian is going to step up into the father role fairly easily though... He's got a heart of gold even if he doesn't know if he'll be a good father."

She laughed softly. "He will and I am right."

I smiled. "And you, you're going to be the mother every child dreams on. And he or she will definitely be spoiled."

She giggled softly, "Thanks, Rose."

"Do you know if it's a girl or boy, yet?"

She shook her head, "I'm not finding out, yet." she murmured. "What about you?"

I shook my head. "I think it's too early to tell for me, anyways."

She nodded and we sat in silence for what seemed like hours. But it was comfortable. I was glad I could be honest with her.

Before we said our goodbyes, we arranged for her to come with me to the next check up in which I'd attend at the nurses office on campus.

From there, I texted Adrian to meet me at my room and headed there. I was exhausted and starving and though I was usually hungry anyways being active all day, this was a different sort of hunger. Eating for two really did you in and I knew I wouldn't succeed in keeping the weight off.

When I got to my room, Adrian was leaning against the wall by my door, waiting for me.

I smiled gently and went over to him. His face lit up when he seen me and he brought a hand up to cup my cheek as I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, taking his other hand with mine and intertwining our fingers.

When our lips parted, I unlocked my door and we went in, locking it behind us.

"So pretty lady, how'd it go?" he asked gently as I sat down with him on my bed.

I smiled and shrugged. "Good, she's coming with me to the next nurse visit."

He smiled. "And I am too." He stated. "I'm sorry I didn't go to the hospital. I should of."

I smiled and shook my head, bringing my lips to his once more. "Don't be, I understand." I murmured.

He chuckled and nodded, kissing me again.

I kissed him back more then willingly but pulled back momentarily. "I haven't gotten an ultrasound done yet, so we can see our baby for the first time together." I told him, the words seeming... weird. But nice, definitely nice.

He smiled, his eyes filled with love and joy. "I can't wait."

Then, as one thing led to another with my heightened libido, we made love, the night long and full of love and passion. Good thing I was already pregnant.

**--**

**Author's Note -**

**I think you should all be very proud of me for getting a chapter of Vulnerable and a chapter of Dimitri's Return out in two days. (;**

**With all the tests going on lately it's been hard to find time to write. I'm going to update either this one or Dimitri's Return - which you Dimitri's fans should go check out, after I do my Twilight one which has flown under the radar the last few weeks. When that's updated, this one and Dimitri's Return are next in line. (:**

**[ Little summary of Dimitri's Return for you Dimitri fans - Starts at the end of Shadow Kiss and it turns out Dimitri wasn't actually killed or taken and he comes back. Hence the name. (; It's pretty much about the challenges of their student-teacher relationship and Rose growing up a little. ]**

**Anyways,**

**remember to review!  
It helps get ideas flowing. Especially if you leave me some ideas.**

**- DramaticField**


	27. Chapter twenty six

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

**Authors Note- I just wanted to let you all know that there won't be too many more chapters of this story. Personal reasons. Though in saying that, I'm going to make sure all loose ends are tied and I will write the last however many chapters to the best of my ability and I won't speed time up very much. Having 20 or 30 chapters about a pregnancy would get extremely boring after a while for me, and you guys. There's only so much you can write about on one topic.  
**

**Rose's Point of View**

It had been a month since Jesse found out about the pregnancy. Everyone knew now and I was getting hell for it. But as the time progressed, I couldn't fight the bond I was starting to make toward this baby.

"Rosemarie Hathaway," the nurse called, emerging from behind the counter.

I squeezed Adrian's hand and a very pregnant Lissa was next to me, radiating joy even more so then usual. It was the day of the first ultrasound and we were going to find out the sex of the baby. I was ecstatic beyond belief.

The nurse led us to a room at the end of the hall and gave us a small smile, though I could tell by something that flashed through her eyes that she frowned upon dhampir pregnancies. Or maybe just _mine_ in particular.

Adrian sat on one of the small black chairs, beside me and Lissa leaned against the wall. Christian had been making her rest all the time lately and whenever she could get out, walk and ultimately _breathe_, she was content.

"Nervous?" Adrian asked me, looking down at me with his big, green eyes.

I smiled up at him and shrugged. "Not really... I want to know what we're having."

Adrian chuckled and nodded.

"What about you?" I asked.

He shrugged. "A little... I mean, we're going to _see _the baby... I don't know."

I smiled gently at him and kissed his cheek. "It'll be fine. I mean, a mother becomes a mother when she gets pregnant. A father usually doesn't feel like he is a father until he sees the baby." I shrugged. "At least that's what all the books say."

He smirked and kissed me gently. "I suppose the books, and you, are right. I am excited, though."

I had been brushing up on some books I borrowed from the library. They were about dhampir pregnancy and they were ultimately only available if you were pregnant. The guardians didn't want word getting out to the few female dhampirs in training to becoming guardians that there were more options then becoming a guardian. Although, baby or not, I did know I was going to continue, and complete my training and guard Lissa like I'd promised. There would be a way to make it work. There had to be.

So far, I'd learned that a dhampir pregnancy would take about half the time as a Moroi, and humans. There wasn't much difference between human pregnancy and Moroi's, but where we were half and half, our pregnancy took half the time of theirs.

I heard the door open, which broke me from my thoughts and the doctor, a woman, walked in. She smiled gently, almost... motherly at us. She seemed to be a dhampir.

And talking about mothers, mine was still somehow clueless. Or had yet to make an appearance. If she did know, I was glad, because it meant she didn't want to contact me. If not, someone really had to tell her soon. But it sure as hell wouldn't be me.

"Hello Ms. Hathaway, Mr. Ivashkov," she said, pulling a machine in behind her. I guessed it was the ultrasound machine.

"Hello," we both said.

"How the pregnancy going, Rose?" she asked as she started to set the machine up, kicking the door shut behind her.

I took a deep breath in before answering. "Good," I said gently.

She smiled at me and nodded. I wasn't exactly in the mood for small talk. I was a little nervous about finding out the sex of the baby.

She nodded and finished setting the machine up. "Rose? Can you lay down on the table, please." she said.

I nodded, getting up as Adrian did as well. Adrian helped me up onto the table and I gave him a small smile as he went behind it, holding my hand.

The doctor smiled and then lifted my shirt up a little. "This is going to be a little cold," she warned.

My bump was a lot more prominent because I was 12 weeks along. I would only make it to twenty one weeks before I had the baby. I looked about Lissa's size, which I wasn't able to hide any longer.

I nodded. "Alright," I said as she took some gel out of a small tube and covered my stomach with it. I winced a little at the cool temperature, but it was nice considering the heat flashes I'd been having lately.

It was early February, and still cold in Montana, although Adrian and I had been sleeping with the window open almost every night. He stayed in my room with me now for the majority of nights. He knew I needed him and everything seemed to be better with him there. He'd even gotten better at stomaching the morning sickness I was cursed with.

She then pressed a button on the machine, turning it on and took the little, white stick, placing it on the gel. She moved it around a little and I watched the screen intently. I could feel Adrian's warm breath on my neck.

The nurse moved it around for a couple minutes before she smiled, pointing toward the screen. "That's the foot," she explained.

I smiled, looking at the screen where she pointed. Looking at the baby inside of me. It was nothing short then amazing.

I turned to Adrian and he smiled as well, kissing me passionately, but briefly.

"Do you want to find out the sex?" The nurse asked, her eyes now perplexed on the screen.

I nodded, turning my head back to face the screen. "Yes, please." I said softly.

Lissa smiled, watching the screen as well. She hadn't found out what she was having, yet. I wasn't sure why, but she just told me she wasn't ready. Now I understood why. It was a bigger step then I'd anticipated.

The nurse smiled and nodded, her eyes watching the screen intently for what seemed like an eternity before she smiled, and spoke. "Congratulations," she said. "you're having a little girl."

**--**

"Aunt Tatiana," Adrian said, his cell phone up to his ear.

Tatiana still hadn't accepted the pregnancy, even though I was technically into my second trimester.

"We're having a baby girl," he thought the news would be good for her to hear.

Maybe make her see how real it was.

As they talked for what seemed like hours, I laid back on the bed, smiling as I picked at my nails. A baby girl. A little baby girl.

I knew it was probably too soon to think of names, anything could happen between now and my due date which was now decided for exactly nine weeks and three days from now. I knew that she would be covered with reds, purples and yellows.

Though no pink. It was too cliché.

Adrian would personally see to it that she was clothed in the most lavish, gorgeous clothing and dresses and she would have everything that she ever needed from day one. I was grateful for his new found maturity. It seemed to have really sunk in today that this was all real and in only nine more weeks, give or take, we would have our baby girl in our arms, depending on us even more for everyday functions and life.

As scary as the thought was, I relished in it.

As for names, I was deciding on bringing up Kaylee, Serena and Keely in a conversation at some point, though as cute as I thought the names were, I would probably change my mind a million times before I actually had her. Maybe when we seen her for the first time, a name would just... jump out?

I honestly didn't think I would ever be this excited about having a baby. At first, I was scared, no, terrified,and completely confused. Now, I was still all those things, but excited made it's way onto the list somewhere. That was a new one.

As much as I knew I needed to still continue my job as Lissa's guardian, I loved Adrian immensely and I couldn't wait to have a family.

Nickolai had still been giving me silent grief in my lessons and now that he knew I was pregnant, it was even harder to go through a lesson without seeing one of his looks that told me he, too, disapproved.

Adrian then came over, sitting next to me on the bed as I smiled up at him. "Someone seems happy," he said before chuckling.

I laughed gently and shrugged. "I'm excited."

He smiled, beaming down at me. "Me too, love, me too."

I smiled at him from under my lashes. "What did Tatiana say?"

He sighed, his smile turning into a look of aggravation. "She'll come around. I hope. Otherwise, both me and the child will be exempt from her life."

I sighed gently, but shrugged. "Whatever."

He chuckled. "Let's go get something to eat with Lissa and Christian."

I smirked. "Alright, anything for some food." I said, laughing gently.

He smirked and helped me sit up as I stood. It was getting harder and my back was getting more sore everyday that passed. He led me out the door and I locked it behind us, though as soon as we got out into the hallway, I felt eyes on us. I groaned inwardly. My pregnancy had to be old news by now, right?

Apparently not, seeing as Ralf came up, smirking. "So, Rose, what's it like to be knocked up?" he asked, satisfaction screaming on his facial features. Though, he hadn't exactly accomplished much by stating the obvious. He was the definition of idiot in my books.

Adrian turned as I shoved the key into my pocket. "Dude, shut _up_." His voice was more aggravated then anything. Sleep hadn't been either of our concern lately. The pregnancy was slowly taking it's toll. If I wasn't craving baby carrots, or chocolate chip cookies, I was craving sex. If I wasn't craving anything, I was sick to my stomach. And don't even get me started on the changes going on in my body.

I couldn't wait to have this baby.

Ralf smirked, and put up his hands jokingly in a defencive gesture. "What are you going to do, Ivashkov?" he asked, smirking. "Tell your aunt?"

Then, to my surprise, Adrian curled his hand into a fist and just as he was about to hit him, Alberta came striding around the corner with Stan, who accompanied her a lot lately. "Adrian, you hit him and I will personally see that you're sent back to the palace."

Though I could tell that she wasn't being serious. I needed him here, and she knew that.

Adrian kept his fierce, death stare fixated on Ralf as he hesitated before listening to Alberta and letting his hand slowly drop back to his side, his hand, still staying curled into a fist.

He sighed and tore his gaze away from Ralf as he smirked gratifyingly.

Until Alberta spoke up. "And Ralf, stop asking for it."

That moment, she was my hero. I smirked.

Ralf's brow furrowed and he looked to me. "Getting other people to fight your battles now, are you?" he grunted.

I smirked. "Trust me, I don't need anyone to fight my battles, I can do it myself. Though, when I'm as hormonal as I am right now, trust me, you don't want me to fight my own battles because when I win, you'll be sorry."

Alberta sighed, looking toward me. I remembered the look from when I first came to the academy. It told me I was unruly and out of line, but I seen the smirk that ran deeper. "Rose," she said, shaking her head. We'd drawn out a crowd by this point. "drop it."

I rolled my eyes inwardly, knowing if Alberta seen it, she'd chastise me. "He deserved it," I muttered.

Alberta sighed. "Stop," she said, more sternly, before turning to the crowd. "There's nothing to see here, go to your dorms, or your next class."

Everyone obeyed immediately and I grinned at her authority. I liked the power she held. Then again, I always liked being in control.I turned to Adrian and he took my hand. "Let's go," he said gently, kissing my forehead before leaading me down the stairs, to the cafeteria.

**--**

After we sat down and ate with Lissa and Christian, discussing the pregnancies and whatnot. It was surprising how normal the talk was, now, Adrian and I went back to my room.

I was exhausted and currently not craving anything but a good nights sleep. As we got ready for bed, most of Adrian's things now in my room, scattered wherever we could fit them, I heard a knock come upon the door. I quickly put my hair up into a messy ponytail, adjusting my pyjama pants and tank top, throwing a sweater on over it, then answered the door.

I was more then surprised at who stood there. My mom. "Rose," she said shaking her head, tears in her eyes as they fixated on my noticeable bump. "I can't believe it's true."

I frowned, knowing I disappointed her, although, really, she had never been there for me, so I didn't know why I felt bad. I moved aside for her to come in, Adrian in a muscle tee and a pair of pyjama pants himself, for now, anyways.

She looked between us as I shut the door. "How did this happen?" she asked, turning toward me as Adrian kept a slight bit of distance, eyeing the both of us. He didn't know what to say.

I looked to my mom and sighed, but then, in effort to lighten the mood, smirked. "Well, when two people love each other, they sleep togeth-"

But she cut me off, her voice, angry. "_Rosemarie Hathaway,_" she snapped. "Stop fooling around."

I sighed aggravatingly. "I don't know, mom. The condom broke... or something. How am I supposed to know?"

She frowned. "I didn't even know you were sexually active."

I cringed at the word. "Well, now you do."

"_Rose,_" she chastised my words, which came across as saucy and disrespectful.

I was edgy and hormonal thanks to the thing growing inside of me. It wasn't my fault. "_Mom_," I said, equally annoying. "I can't help what happened and I'm sorry for the way I'm acting, but I can't exactly help it. If you knew half the things going on right now, you'd understand." I didn't know how much accusation and hurt that there was behind the words until I said them.

I expected some lecture, or a look telling me she disapproved. But, she took a step, enclosing the distance between us and wrapped her arms around me.

It was awkward. At first, at least. But, I hugged her back.

I felt her shake her head. "I just don't want you in the position I was."

"Where you my age when you got pregnant with me?" I asked as we pulled back.

Adrian sat on the bed and I sighed as she nodded, "A little earlier. It was a few days after I had graduated."

Then, I hesitated before asking my next question. "Who was he?" I asked. "My father?" I spun the word around in my mouth after saying it. It didn't feel right and I vowed to myself my and Adrian's child would never feel that way.

My mom frowned and took one of my hands, leading me over to sit on the bed as well, on the other side from which Adrian was sat. She faced both of us and Adrian placed a hand over the hand that I was leaning on.

"His name was Ibrahim," she explained. "Ibrahim Mazur. We called him Abe."

I nodded, and she continued. "He's still alive, and he checks in every now and then. He's big in the Moroi world, although, he's not royalty. He gets his way with money, though and has hired guardians of his own that pretty much follow him everywhere he goes." Then, I seen a saddened look cross her eyes. "When I got pregnant with you, we'd only slept together a few times."

That was too much detail, but I let her continue. "Like you said happened, the condom broke-"

"Please, spare me the details, mom." I said, a little sarcasm behind my words. I was only half-joking, though.

She laughed gently. It was one of the first times I'd seen her laugh genuinely, especially at something I had said.

She nodded. "Anyways, we got a littler, well, surprise."

Some kids would be offended if they were 'mistakes', or, 'accidents', though, I didn't mind so much.

"When we figured out, since I hadn't had a guardian like you do, that I was pretty much destined to guard, Abe and I went off on our own until I had you. I couldn't pay the medical bills or pre or post natal care, so, he did. I loved him dearly, although, with all the things going on, especially I being so young, we decided for him not to be part of your life. We thought it was best at the time. When you were old enough to be bottle fed, I enrolled you into the academy to be taken care of by a Moroi by the name of Sandra. She agreed that she would help me. She was older, and couldn't have kids of her own, so it worked out. For a little while at least. When you started going back to school, I would check in every now and then." She frowned. "I regret not being there, but I had to do what I knew I was destined to do. Fulfil my duties as a guardian. And I had to prove myself worthy that much more."

I frowned at the story and nodded, "How old was Abe? Do you still talk to him?" I was still a little upset that she had just left me here, although, if she hadn't, I would of never met Lissa. Something good has to come out of everything, right?

She glanced between Adrian and I. "He was a little older then Adrian. Twenty Two. And yes, but very rarely. I don't like to talk to him. I've never cared for another man the way I do for him, and I chose to keep the past locked up so it won't interfere with the future."

I was surprised she'd opened up so much, honestly. Though, I was glad I knew this about my father. The past. To both our surprise, I leaned over, and hugged her.

She hugged me back for a long moment before we pulled back.

Adrian then spoke up, looking at my mom. "Ms. Hathaway... I won't hurt her, I promise."

I smiled at him, taking one of his hands as I seen my mom nod and smile slightly. There was more of a happiness behind her eyes, but I seen her going back into guardian mode. "I hope not," she replied before standing. "Sleep well, the both of you. I'm staying in the guardian dorms for the next little while, in case you need me."

I smiled, glad she would be around if I needed her. I had so many questions, and scares and more about this pregnancy, and who better to ask then someone who had been there before?

"Night, mom." I said before she left.

I then turned to Adrian and sighed. He got up on the bed a little more and pulled me onto his lap, placing a hand on my bump.

We were silent for many long moments, then he spoke. "Rose... I know Abe. Or rather, my aunt does."

**--**

**Author's note-**

**  
Hope you liked this chapter. (:**

**  
I enjoyed writing it.**

**I know I used some of Richelle Mead's ideas, hence, Abe, I'm trying to mix things up as good as I can though and put many twists and turns in. I figured instead of making a new character for her dad, it would be best to use someone you're all already familiar with.**

**  
I know the direction in which I want this to go and I'm fairly certain that there will be a number of chapters left. I want to finish this story right since I came this far with it. **

**Remember, **

**Review! **

**-DramaticField**


	28. Chapter twenty seven

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

**Rose's point of view**

"Doesn't your aunt know, like, everyone?" I questioned.

Adrian laughed gently, "Well, yes. Although her knowing Ibrahim, Abe, is different."

"How so?"

"Well," he said, taking both of my hands in his as we faced each other, sitting on my bed. "they had a thing, I think. And all of this just makes everything... click. The reason my aunt doesn't like Janine and you.. I think that maybe, one time they were friends, and then Abe possibly picked your mom over my aunt?" he said, questions in his voice, his eyes showing pure curiosity. "It's a possibility, at least."

Before I had a chance today anything, though, I felt a shooting pain cross my stomach and I wrapped my arms immediately around the bump, groaning.

His eyes flashed fear and concern, holding my shoulders. "Rose... are you okay?"

And then the pain left and I took a deep breath in, nodding. "I'm fine," I said softly. "Just cramps, I think."

Adrian nodded, relief in his features.

"But it is possibly. Freakishly possible."

**--**

"Rose?" Adrian called, opening the door to my room and stepping inside.

I was in the bathroom, getting ready for our date. It was about a week after we had tried to put everything together and my mom enlightened us with some insight on my father and Adrian had insisted taking me out for dinner, since it was Valentines day.

I was dressed in a maternity dress. Of course, it was red, as cliché as it was though, I liked it. It pinched in below the bust with rhinestones. The spaghetti straps held up the shapely top, which didn't reveal anything, but was sexy nonetheless and the bottom, flowed out over my baby bump. I was nine weeks along, but looked more around 18. It was a pain in the ass trying to cover it, now, where I was progressing at around twice the speed a human would be, but I still had eleven to twelve weeks left, which was a relief. The bump was very noticeable, out past my boobs, now.

I took one last glimpse in the mirror, my hair curly from Lissa's attack earlier, along with some simple, subtle make up that she insisted on. I smiled softly, eyeing the bump and then took a deep breath in before exiting the bathroom.

I seen Adrian, dressed in a white shirt, a jacket and black dress pants, leaning against the foot board of the bed. I smiled, seeing how much he tried and went over, wrapped my arms around his waist, keeping him as close as I could.

Silence passed between us, a comfortable silence, though, and I finally pulled back and looked up at him. He gazed down at me, lovingly. "You look handsome," I murmured softly, letting my fingers run down the buttons on his shirt.

"You look stunning, Rose, like always." he murmured before letting his lips capture mine for a brief second. When he pulled back, he grinned. "I'd love to kiss you more, but we should get going, and if I start, I don't know if I could stop."

I laughed gently, and kissed his cheek as he took my hand. "Nicely put, Ivashkov." I teased.

Our sex live hadn't been very active lately. The pregnancy had me sick and lazy, and, more or less, feeling like crap. I still attended practise though. Alberta had been going very easy on me, to which I was extremely grateful for.

We left the building and I gotten used to the feeling of all the eyes on me. A pregnancy, especially with a Moroi, and him staying, was extremely rare.

Adrian smirked and squeezed my hand as he led me out of my room and all the way to his car. Surprisingly, no one stared when we walked by anymore. Though I knew Jesse would never give up.

In a gentlemen fashion, Adrian brought me over to the passenger side and opened the door for me. He took my arm and helped me in, my stomach a little hard to work around lately. He kissed my hand before letting it go and shutting my door when I was in.

He walked over to the other side of the car and got into the drivers side. He closed the door quickly, the car filling with bitter, cold air and I shivered a little as he put the key into the ignition and started it. He pulled out of the parking lot a few seconds later and with one hand on the wheel, he took my hand with the other.

It took us a little while to get to the restaurant, but when we got there, it was as beautiful as I expected. It was quite elegant. Seeming to be expensive fabric covered most things, chandeliers hung gloriously in more then one place, and roses were the centerpiece on the table. Though, there were roses everywhere for Valentines Day.

We were seated quickly and the date went like any, normal restaurant date. Holding hands and sneaking in kisses while we waited for the food, holding hands over the table as we ate and sweet comments. Usually, I would find it extremely cliché and clinging, but it was nice to be the centre of attention when it was good. I hadn't had much feedback lately since word of the pregnancy spread.

Once we were done, Adrian paid the bill and then we left, getting into the car. I expected him to turn back onto the road we came, to go back to the academy, but he turned the opposite way, getting onto the highway.

I quirked a brow, "Adrian? Where are we going?"

He smirked, giving my hand a small squeeze. "You'll see,"

I groaned, "I hate surprises." I protested.

He chuckled gently. "You'll like this one, I promise."

I decided to leave it at that, then. It was no use trying to get it out of him and I knew he wouldn't tell me. I looked out the window, seeing big, evergreen trees pass by in swarms, lining the highway. Obviously on a night like this, the highway was full. There were even a few limos pass by. Valentines day, despite the fact that it hadn't symbolized any major event in History, as every event involving Jesus did, was very much celebrated and popular. At once, it made me sick. Now, I liked being pampered a little. Especially since I was carrying a baby and feeling like crap most of the time.

We drove for what seemed like an hour, but when I checked the clock as the car slowed, going up a small, dirt path, it told me it hadn't even been thirty minutes. I sighed. "Now can you tell me?" I asked curiously.

"We're almost there, Rose." he told me, amusement playing in his features as finally, the darkness broke at the end of the small road.

In front of us, there was a small, lit up cabin. The warm, yellow light glowing inside made things cozy, and the fact that it was away from everything else made it that much more romantic. I smiled as I let my eyes skim over the weathered wood the structure was built with and Adrian pulled into a small grassy spot before turning the car off. He turned to me and smiled.

"Like it?" he murmured.

Though, before I could answer, he had gotten out and came over, opening my door.

I smiled up at him and got out myself, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I love it," I said, letting my eyes meet his light green ones.

He smiled down at me, placing a light kiss to my forehead before leading me to the cottage.

Once we got in, candles were lit relaxingly, a fake fire glistening in the fireplace. I turned to Adrian and smiled up at him.

"It's beautiful, though, you didn't have to go through all of this trouble."

He looked down at me after locking the door and kissed my forehead, chuckling. "Trouble? This was no trouble, Rose. Besides, you're carrying my child. It's the least I can do."

I was fourteen weeks pregnant, now, and I looked the size of a twenty eight week along human. It was quite obvious and the bump was getting in the way. I was glad the pregnancy would only make it to twenty one or twenty two weeks. I couldn't put up with this much longer and it was getting harder as time progressed.

My back hurt, my emotions would change every second, I would cry a lot, I was stressed out, over thinking things and hardly getting any sleep. Along with the dreaded morning sickness that had a love and hate relationship with me.

Oh, and our sex lives were... hectic lately. I've been craving everything from baby carrots, to love making for weeks now and my progressing bump was making it harder to actually make love. It was annoying.

Adrian took my hand, leading me over to the double mattress laid on the floor in front of the fireplace. There was a duvet on top of the mattress that was a red colouring, along with two, long pillows stretched across the top of the mattress. The couch was position behind it, the coffee table moved aside to make room for the mattress.

I smiled as we sat down, Adrian leaning against the couch and made a v-shape with his legs, pulling me between them so my back was to his chest. His strong, loving arms wrapped around my bump and I leaned back leisurely on his chest, letting my head fall back to lay on his shoulder so I could look up at him. "I love you," I murmured gently.

He smiled down at me, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "I love you, too, Rose." he said sweetly. "And," he added. "I have a surprise for you."

I cocked a brow. "_Another _surprise?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Don't worry, you'll like it. I told you that you would like this surprise," he said, gesturing around the room with his hand. "And I know you'll like this one. Just don't shoot me, okay?"

I groaned. "I'm going to kill you." I stated as he smirked and moved so that I was laying back on the couch, as he rose from his seat behind me.

"I'll be right back." he told me before disappearing from the room, going up the small, wooden stair case.

He was getting in the habit of spoiling me, that was for sure, and although I didn't like being treated like the princess it was so obvious I wasn't, I hadn't started objecting. Well, I did, but he didn't listen anyways. It was a waste of my breath to keep it up. I liked everything he gave me and the things he did for me, though I hated it when he spent too much money on me. He knew I didn't have money to spend on him.

Though, his new motto was: '_What's mine is yours and our baby's._'

I looked to the fire place, the fake orange and red flames glowing. The slight light from that, and the candles were the only thing enabling us to see whereas the drapes were drawn and the lights off. It was relaxing - serene.

I cocked my head to the side when I heard footsteps, his of course, coming down the stairs and he had his hand clenched around a long, black case.

_Jewellery._

I bit my lip, hoping that it wasn't something extravagant and expensive, but I knew better then to think it wasn't. Adrian had money, and he _loved _spending it.

He came over to me, the grin gone from his face as he sat beside me on the mattress. I turned to face him and he took my hand, helping me to my feet.

I quirked a brow, but stood anyhow.

"Rose," he murmured gently, wrapping his arms around my waist, our bodies touching. Well, as much as they could with my bump even if it wasn't huge yet. "I know you hate gifts and surprises and whatnot, but when I seen this, I had no other choice to get it." he said, our eyes gazing into one another's.

I nodded, not knowing what to say as I felt the black case against my back.

"Don't kill me." he repeated, his smirk returning as I hit his arm gently and playfully, grinning.

"Alright, alright, alright." I murmured as he untwined his arms from around my waist.

I looked down at the box as he opened it and I felt his eyes on my face.

Beautiful.

It was gorgeous and I knew my face held all the right emotions because I felt his breath on my shoulder as he chuckled. "Like it?"

I nodded, allowing my eyes to shift from the necklace, to his eyes. "I love it." I breathed.

There was a seeming sterling silver chain attached to a small, rose pendant. It was a bright colour of red, accented with the same silver colouring of the chain on the lines giving the impression of pedals.

He brought his fingers down, taking the necklace out of the case, placing the case on the nearby table. "Turn around," he instructed in a velvety voice.

I smiled up at him before turning around, feeling him place the necklace around my neck, and doing it up in the back. It was cool against my hot skin and it rested just below my collarbone. The chain wasn't lengthy, so it would be easy to wear most of the time.

When I let my fingers reach up to play with the rose, I smiled as I seen some sparkles on it. They weren't too noticeable unless you looked close, which I liked.

"You know," Adrian's voice filled the room, his breath on my neck as he stood behind me. "Your auras been beautiful ever since you got pregnant. There's still a little black in it, but it's lightened up a lot. It's a clear red with a pink colour mixed in.

"Is that good?" I asked gently before letting my hand drop from the necklace.

"Very," he commented.

A smile filled my lips and as I turned around, I seen him pull something out of his pocket.

Another small box, but this one was palm sized. He took one of my hands, his face so serious that it scared me a little as he helped me sit back down on the mattress. He sat in front of me, our legs spread into a v-shape, mine over his so our torso's were closer together.

He took a deep breath in, and then took one of my hands in his.

I gulped, my brows drawing together. "Adrian..."

But he stayed quiet for a few, long moments his fingers grazing over the velvet material covering the box.

"Rose," he finally said. "You know I love you so much. More then anyone or anything." Then, his face lightened a little, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. "You and our baby girl."

I nodded, my whole body and mind wanting him to get to the point. I gave him a faint smile. "Of course," I breathed.

He drew in a deep breath, and let it out slowly and I knew this was a big deal to him. He let his fingers clasp the top of the box and he opened it slowly.

"Marry me, Rose?" He breathed as he revealed a small, platinum ring, with a delicate tension wave that curved to secure the round diamond in place. It was pretty flat to the band, and would be easy to wear.

He had thought of everything, and then, doubts flashed through my mind, and my chest clenched.

**--**

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry for not updating in such a long time, but I just haven't had the inspiration, or time. It's better late then never, right? :)**

**I really want your feedback on this chapter. I know much hasn't happened until the end more so, and Valentines day was FOREVER ago - my bad, but I thought it would be cute to just kind of forget all the issues for a chapter and just focus on what got them where they are - love. **

**I **_**do**_** have a little twist for the next chapter in regards to this one. Well, two, actually. Though I'd really like to hear your views on this one, first. When I know your opinions on this chapter, it will make my mind up between two options for the next chapter that I'm currently debating. **

**Hope you liked it!**

**&  
Review!**

**~ DramaticField**


	29. Chapter twenty eight

**Vulnerable**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

**Rose's point of view.**

"Marry me, Rose?" Adrian's voice filled the room and my heart was beating a mile a minute.

_Marry _him? Marriage was a life long commitment, and to be honest the word terrified me for more then one reason. Marriage meant everything I had ruled out for my life by becoming a guardian. I wasn't really _allowed _to marry. There was no rule against it per say, although marriage was rare. _Especially _between a Moroi and a dhampir. Especially a Moroi as high up as Adrian.

My heart was in my throat then, and I was about to give him my answer, when, he spoke.

"Someday." he added.

"Someday?" I asked, exhaling.

He nodded and grinned a little. "Not now... I understand that you're only eighteen, and you haven't even completed graduation yet. But, I want to marry you someday. In the future when Lissa moves to the Royal court to attend school. We could build a small house in the woods, Lissa and Christian having one next to us, and we could be a family with our child. And you could still guard Lissa."

The words were so foreign to me. Marriage. Family. Child. They were all the things I had never seen me having and I couldn't say I didn't want it because I did. But was it right?

Instead of trying to figure everything out there and then, what was best for me and Lissa, I decided to put my happiness first. It wasn't endangering anyone. Then again, maybe it was, but I... _We_ would figure everything out in time.

I nodded, a smile filling my face. "Someday," I said softly. "Definitely."

He smiled, taking the engagement ring out and placing it on my left hands ring finger before letting his lips collide with mine.

After that point, the night, as they say, was history.

* * *

The hallways were buzzing with people trying to get to their next classes on time and I was stuck in the middle of it. As I stepped up onto the landing for my floor and turned left, I accidentally bumped into someone. I stepped back a little.

"Sorry," I said hastily, though when I looked up, I seen Tasha, smiling down.

"It's alright, how are things going?" she asked as we moved over, close to the wall to get out of peoples way.

"Things are going good. Morning sickness is a bitch, but that's no surprise."

Tasha smiled gently and placed a hand on my baby bump like many others had been lately. "You've got a gift, Rose. A stable environment, and a loving boyfriend. This baby is going to have everything."

I bit my lip, the only ones who knew about the engagement yet were Lissa and Christian. "Well," I said softly. "I'm kind of well, engaged."

Tasha's jaw dropped and a smile quickly emerged onto her motherly features. "Engaged!" she exclaimed in a whisper so we wouldn't attract anymore attention then we had been before.

I smiled softly, letting a light laugh escape my lips at her reaction. "Yes, engaged."

The next thing I knew, Tasha's arms were wrapped around me in a hug and I was hugging her back.

"Congratulations, Rose." she breathed.

I smiled. "I've got the ring and I've told him I would marry him, but we're going to wait. It's too soon yet and I'm a little too young. But eventually we'll be a family."

Tasha smiled. "I'm so happy for you, Rose, truly. Though, I've got a question." She said softly.

"Yes?" I asked as the hallways buzzed with chatter, and more then likely, gossip.

"Do you miss him...? At all?" she breathed.

The words took me back a little and it took me a minute to figure out who she was talking about. "Yes," I said quietly. "Everyday."

_Dimitri. _

The man who once had my heart, and if I was being honest with myself, still did. Not one hundred percent anymore, but he was there, and thinking back to the times I had with him, and the life he led when he was alive, hurt. He was noble, caring, warm, comforting and strong. Everything I admired, and everything that I missed and yearned for.

But Adrian. Adrian was all those things, too. In different ways. They were both amazing in two completely different ways, but I knew I would always yearn for Dimitri in some way. The old him, and the old love we shared. But Adrian and I had written a new chapter, or well, book, and it was one I wouldn't apologize for.

It was all about moving on, and nonetheless, no matter how much the heart missed one person, I've realized that it's not all about that _one_. No matter how in love, or how much it hurts, everyday, it progressively gets better. Slowly, but it does. And having someone like Adrian helped love and happiness take the place of hurt.

Tasha nodded and frowned. "I know how you both felt toward one another, and I know that this pregnancy wasn't exactly planned. I figured at first you were only with Adrian to drown Dimitri out."

I nodded, sighing. "That's true, I was with him to drown Dimitri out." It was weird to say his name after all the weeks I've kept him and the memories locked inside. "But he grew on me, and once I found out I was pregnant, I figured I should accept the situation as it is, and try and move on. There wasn't much else I _could _do. I know as much as Dimitri didn't exactly like Adrian, he would want me to be happy, because I would want that for him, too."

I thought back to the time when I told him to be with Tasha. It was so hard, and it hurt, but I had wanted him to be happy, and at the time, she seemed to make him happy. All I wanted for him was happiness. I still wanted that, but now, it was too late. I missed him, of course I did, and I thought about him a lot in small intervals, but I really did pine for his knowledge and comfort right now. Those strong, comforting arms that always seemed to make everything better. His Russian accent whispering in my ear, surrounding me with serenity and peace.

* * *

"Hey," Adrian said, turning toward the door to face me as I walked into my, or well, our room later that day.

The earlier flashback had been eye opening, but it didn't change the way I smiled when I seen Adrian.

"Hello," I murmured happily after shutting the door behind me.

I seen him bent over something on the other side of the bed and I raised a brow, walking over. "What are you up to now?" I questioned.

"Building," he said, seeming proud.

As I rounded the edge of the bed, I looked down, seeing a bunch of wooden pieces on the floor, an instruction Manuel in the middle.

_A crib._

The wood was painted pink, and had magic wands painted over it, the white, sparkly top fit for a princess. Exactly what she would be treated as, I knew that from the start.

"It's hard to believe that it's all real." I admitted. "That all of this is happening... That my due date is coming up soon."

Adrian took a deep breath in, and nodded. "I know," he murmured, his brow creasing. "I do want kids, Rose... But this is so much."

I looked at him and sat down on the bed, next to where he was sat on the hardwood floor. "Don't start having second thoughts," I said, swiftly. "I can't handle you not being a hundred percent on board. It's too scary."

The words were out before I had a chance to stop them, but I was afraid. Afraid of giving birth, taking care of a child, and the worst thing, Adrian leaving, or wanting to. Especially him not loving me anymore.

He looked up at me, and stood. He sat next to me on the bed and pulled me into his big, strong, loving arms. "Rose," he breathed in my ear, his warm breath below my earlobe. "I would never, ever, ever leave you, or have second thoughts. Whats done, is done, and you're so intoxicating to me. You're beautiful, and loving and you're going to be a wonderful mother. We're going to be a family, and we're going to work everything out, but don't ever think that again. It's not going to happen."

Adrian's speech made my heart clench and tears burn my eyes as I closed them, burying my face into his chest. All the hormones and mood changes were starting to bother me even more as the pregnancy progressed.

I blinked back the tears before looking up to him, placing a light kiss to his lips knowing if I had prolonged it, I wouldn't be able to fight the urge to allow other things.

"I love you, Adrian." I said gently as he smiled.

"Love you, too, little dhampir."

I smiled up at him momentarily before a yawn escaped my lips.

"Sleep, Rose." Adrian's tone was loving. "I'm going to finish putting this thing together, and then I'll lay down with you."

I smiled gently and nodded, kissing him on the cheek as he laid me down gently, pulling the blankets up on me.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in as he kissed my forehead before sliding off the bed again.

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to update!  
I had **_**no **_**inspiration whatsoever, until I finished reading Spirit Bound a few days ago!  
If you guys have finished it, PM me, or in your review you can rant on about what you liked/didn't like, and if you want my thoughts, or my input, at the end of your review, ask me to reply. :]**

**But don't forget to review this chapter! ;D**

**- DramaticField**


End file.
